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  #876  
Old May 17, 2022, 09:10 PM
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Recovery is still awful slow. I went nowhere today. Mostly just between bed and couch, getting up for small things to eat.

I'm not in any real distress. Just weak and tired and sore, when moving. On couch, or in bed, I'm comfortable enough. I'm afraid that gut infection may be smoldering. I could have an abscess. The CT scan doesn't always identify the whole story. Maybe I was taken off the I/V antibiotics too soon.

Tomorrow I see my PCP. She is a physician's assistant. I like her well enough. I'ld feel better, if I had a really good MD for my PCP.

Back in my healthy 20s, my PCP was always a doctor. Now that I'm starting to have age-related issues, I get these quasi-competent practitioners. What a system we've got. As you get older, they want to spend less money on you.
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  #877  
Old May 17, 2022, 09:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
Back in my healthy 20s, my PCP was always a doctor. Now that I'm starting to have age-related issues, I get these quasi-competent practitioners. What a system we've got. As you get older, they want to spend less money on you.
That seems unusual -- it's sort of the opposite in my case. Long ago, I didn't have many issues and got the impression they wanted patients suffering from something expensive to treat. Now I'm more in that latter category, so my doctor runs all sorts of tests I never had before. Maybe I need them, but they seem to be profiting a good deal off me these days...
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  #878  
Old May 17, 2022, 10:10 PM
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Originally Posted by T4bbyCat View Post
That seems unusual -- it's sort of the opposite in my case. Long ago, I didn't have many issues and got the impression they wanted patients suffering from something expensive to treat. Now I'm more in that latter category, so my doctor runs all sorts of tests I never had before. Maybe I need them, but they seem to be profiting a good deal off me these days...
I hope your medical issues get appropriately addressed and that you get to feeling really well.
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  #879  
Old May 18, 2022, 07:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
Tomorrow I see my PCP. She is a physician's assistant. I like her well enough. I'ld feel better, if I had a really good MD for my PCP.

I remember talking about this with you a few years ago when I was trying to find a PCP after 20 years not going at all! I was lucky to find an MD in the end but it was not easy. It's all NPs around here. It really is some kind of system we have nowadays.
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  #880  
Old May 18, 2022, 10:47 AM
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I feel sick this morning. Just took a pain pill. When it kicks in, I'll take a shower.

I guess the main thing, @hvert is to keep appointments and stay connected to whatever help is there.
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  #881  
Old May 18, 2022, 02:25 PM
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My main thing at this moment is I don't want to be a burden or have to rely on anyone. But I mean, sure theres depression....
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  #882  
Old May 18, 2022, 09:22 PM
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I feel sick. I'm afraid something's wrong. Very nauseated. Chills. Headache. I'm not going over to that E.D. unless this gets a lot worse. Saw my PCP today. She seemed satisfied that I'm recovering ok. I wish she sent me for blood work. I just feel distressed. I'm so thirsty, but drinking anything nauseates me.

The hospital was like a circus. Don't want to go back there. Some I/V fluid might help me. I hate this.
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  #883  
Old May 19, 2022, 05:00 PM
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I'm awfully sick. I think I need to go back to the E.D. That place is a madhouse.

I was in there 4 days. Got out May 4. Was coming along okay. Past 4 days - not so good.

I was nowheres near this sick a week ago.

I don't know what I'm waiting for. I'm too sick to not go, but I dread going into that place again.

My primary sent me for blood work. I'm hoping she'll call and tell me results. The labs might give clear indication of what I should do.
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  #884  
Old May 19, 2022, 08:23 PM
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I'm awfully sick. I think I need to go back to the E.D. That place is a madhouse.
Not to stoke any fears, but did they give you a COVID test? More and more people I know seem to be getting it, even after avoiding it for two years and being vaccinated. The good news is that it's usually pretty mild (or at least bearable) and you get super-antibodies as a result.
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  #885  
Old May 19, 2022, 09:01 PM
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Back in the hospital. Getting good care.
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  #886  
Old May 19, 2022, 11:58 PM
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Originally Posted by T4bbyCat View Post
Not to stoke any fears, but did they give you a COVID test? More and more people I know seem to be getting it, even after avoiding it for two years and being vaccinated. The good news is that it's usually pretty mild (or at least bearable) and you get super-antibodies as a result.
Not yet, but I expect they will. We know my current distress is from a gut infection. Diverticulitis can lead to horrible complications. No evidence of that so far with me.

I got my booster shots, and I both mask and social distance. I know that all that is no guarantee.
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  #887  
Old May 20, 2022, 05:46 PM
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Depressed.
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  #888  
Old May 21, 2022, 06:55 AM
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The downs are heavy but I have the ups.
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  #889  
Old May 21, 2022, 07:25 AM
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I improved over the night. I want to go home. Yesterday life wasn't worth living.
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  #890  
Old May 22, 2022, 01:00 PM
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I mean, I might have cancer, I think I have the right to be depressed.
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  #891  
Old May 22, 2022, 02:58 PM
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I get discharged after supper. I live alone . . . now . . . (since May 30, 2020.) I wish I was going home to my sweetie. He would take care of me. And he would love me back to health, as he did during past illnesses.

Somehow I will manage. I was lucky to have had the many years we had. I still thank him every day.

I mainly need to not stay home alone so much. I mainly need to go and be with people. But I'm so afraid of COVID. I have scarred lungs. It is a mystery! No doctor can explain why, except to cite that I had pneumonia 20 years ago.
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  #892  
Old May 22, 2022, 05:29 PM
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My girlfriend turned out to be a scammer. After I fell in love with her, she claimed to have been robbed while in a foreign country. She wanted all of my banking info. When I said it wasn't right, she said I didn't trust her. It was too fishy. I reported her to Google. I'm not receiving any more emails from her. Thank goodness.
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  #893  
Old May 23, 2022, 04:08 PM
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My girlfriend turned out to be a scammer. After I fell in love with her, she claimed to have been robbed while in a foreign country. She wanted all of my banking info. When I said it wasn't right, she said I didn't trust her. It was too fishy. I reported her to Google. I'm not receiving any more emails from her. Thank goodness.
Yep, those scammers are a particularly nasty kind, preying on people's emotions. Maybe you can get some "revenge" by watching the various videos of hackers turning the tables on them, even showing them their own webcam feeds and all. Aside from the comic relief, you can get good insights on how these shysters operate and never be taken in by them again.
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  #894  
Old May 23, 2022, 07:40 PM
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I'm not sure my depression will ever be gone. There are rare, and I mean very rare moments where I've felt thankful to be alive. Since I was a child, all my memories are of crying and wishing I'd never been
born. I feel useless.... and I see no use for me to hang on. I have the means to end this, I just don't have the guts.
I made the stupid mistake of letting a man who has a gf get to my heart. He's not available, I didn't ever let my head even go there. I'm a stupid woman that falls for a kiss, for some attention, because I'm lonely for affection. Now it just hurts. Thought it was over with, then I feel like he feels sorry for me and turns me on again. It's torture, and it's just my fault. Friends that never text me first, and really they aren't friends. I don't know how to make it on my own, and I will be totally alone, looking for a place to live without enough money. I know the world has so many problems, and I should be thankful that I'm not homeless, YET, but it's coming.
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  #895  
Old May 24, 2022, 01:37 PM
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I am afraid.
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  #896  
Old May 24, 2022, 08:42 PM
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I am afraid.
I'm so sorry, dear Rose. God bless you!!
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  #897  
Old May 25, 2022, 11:15 AM
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I want relief from how sick I feel. I want escape. Continual nausea.

Thank you, Breaking Dawn.
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  #898  
Old May 26, 2022, 07:31 AM
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Originally Posted by T4bbyCat View Post
Not to stoke any fears, but did they give you a COVID test? More and more people I know seem to be getting it, even after avoiding it for two years and being vaccinated. The good news is that it's usually pretty mild (or at least bearable) and you get super-antibodies as a result.
They probably did, but I was so sick I can't remember. Yes, I'm hearing of people I know getting it recently. I still mask up when going out.

I have rounded a corner and am far less sick than I was.
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  #899  
Old May 27, 2022, 05:15 AM
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I had to break the friendship with a really good friend last night. My best friend actually. He savaged me and the things he said I can forgive but not forget. I have too much self- love and self-respect to be treated like that. I am sad today. There is no going back from that. I will pick myself up and move on.

Last edited by Sunflower123; May 27, 2022 at 08:01 AM.
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  #900  
Old May 27, 2022, 01:41 PM
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I think I remember a few years ago telling my mom I had a feeling I would drop dead of a heart attack before I was 35. Well.... its not like thats unlikely.
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Last edited by Mountaindewed; May 27, 2022 at 03:10 PM.
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