too much pain from the shower

doing nothing the rest of the day. I ****ing hurt

[cool09]

No depression but I still can't enjoy myself. I don't enjoy going out or taking a walk. I'm envious of people who do enjoy their lives.

[Mountaindewed]

I think I have depression about my health issues. But I know I didn't get post procedure depression from yesterday. At least I'm like 98% sure. I think I have depression from a different issue thats causing me a good amount of pain currently The pain from the procedure yesterday is pretty much gone. I've also been out of a low dose strength of one of my meds for 4 days but I thought I was doing pretty good without it. I haven't slept well in 2 nights either due to the health issue from yesterday. I need a good nights sleep to start off.

[Rose76]

I'm feeling pretty much on the road to being normal again. I'm cooking and tidying around the house. Not too much nausea, but I have to eat less than I think I want, or the nausea rears up. Finally, I believe I'm going to recover, fully possibly. I will have to exercise to regain lost strength. Today was way too hot for much exertion.

Had a falling out yesterday on the phone with a "friend." She loves to needle people. Usually I don't take the bait. But we got into a back and forth over something stupid. She got real antagonistic. Finally I told her enough was enough and that it was time to end the conversation. She's always calling me, way more than I call her. Then she scans the conversation for something to fight about. So now she won't likely call anytime soon. If she calls never that'll be fine with me. All the time I was real sick, she would call and call, but never ask if I needed anything. Doesn't like to go out of her way for anyone. I don't know why I bothered for so long treating her like a friend.

[Breaking Dawn]

I need a good night's sleep. (mostly morning actually.)

[3rd rock]

I was just in a minor car accident. I bumped another car from behind. There was no observable damage except a smudge on the car. I apologized to the other driver, but he was extremely angry and aggressive, and kept swearing. Anyways I gave him my information and reported the accident to the public insurer, and I have to wait and see. My premiums will likely go up, but I don't know what to because I have no accidents on my record history. I haven't been driving long enough to earn crash forgiveness. I'm mainly upset about the increased cost to my insurance, although I hope it will be minor. I currently pay under $100 a month for insurance and I'm hoping the increase will be to something manageable, like less than $150. But it's still making me feel really down. I know I shouldn't let a really minor setback like this make me feel so depressed, and it'll pass quickly, but it still makes me feel really bad.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I was just in a minor car accident. I bumped another car from behind. There was no observable damage except a smudge on the car. I apologized to the other driver, but he was extremely angry and aggressive, and kept swearing. Anyways I gave him my information and reported the accident to the public insurer, and I have to wait and see. My premiums will likely go up, but I don't know what to because I have no accidents on my record history. I haven't been driving long enough to earn crash forgiveness. I'm mainly upset about the increased cost to my insurance, although I hope it will be minor. I currently pay under $100 a month for insurance and I'm hoping the increase will be to something manageable, like less than $150. But it's still making me feel really down. I know I shouldn't let a really minor setback like this make me feel so depressed, and it'll pass quickly, but it still makes me feel really bad.

If you had bumped my car & left only a smudge, I would have told you not to report it. Too bad it didn't turn out that way.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I was just in a minor car accident. I bumped another car from behind. There was no observable damage except a smudge on the car. I apologized to the other driver, but he was extremely angry and aggressive, and kept swearing. Anyways I gave him my information and reported the accident to the public insurer, and I have to wait and see. My premiums will likely go up, but I don't know what to because I have no accidents on my record history. I haven't been driving long enough to earn crash forgiveness. I'm mainly upset about the increased cost to my insurance, although I hope it will be minor. I currently pay under $100 a month for insurance and I'm hoping the increase will be to something manageable, like less than $150. But it's still making me feel really down. I know I shouldn't let a really minor setback like this make me feel so depressed, and it'll pass quickly, but it still makes me feel really bad.

Hi Rock, I feel for you because I've been in your situation a number of times. (Mario Andretti I am not.) My dear old dad taught me a way to respond, and I've used it repeatedly, and I've been very pleased with how it has played out. His philosophy was: Do not report accidents involving minor damage, if you can possibly avoid it. When you're the liable party - as you are - here's how you do that: Offer the person you hit cash-money in satisfaction of the damage. You say the following: "I can give you $50 cash right away, if that would make this alright, or you can go through my insurance company." Lots of folks would really rather have cash into their hand quickly, as opposed to submitting a bill to your insurance company - especially if the damage is next to nothing . . . . . and even when the damage is considerable, if their car is kind of old and not in cherry condition.

I have made offers ranging from $50 to $500. My offers were accepted Every Single Time! The party you hit knows that your insurance company is not going to give them a penny in cash. It will reimburse what they have to spend on a mechanic or to a body shop, when an actual bill is submitted. Also, your insurance company is going to set a limit based on some reasonable considerations. They're not going to pay to have this guy's vehicle repainted. So ask yourself, "What do you think a body shop is going to charge to erase that smudge?" It's not going to be a fortune. Furthermore, this guy might rather take $75 that he can put into his pocket, instead of seeing some body shop get $200 for erasing a smudge that's hardly noticeable. How pristine was his vehicle to begin with? (If it's new, a gorgeous vehicle, and totally cherry - then, yes, he wants that perfectly restored.) Otherwise, he might just as soon take your cash. He might have a cousin who can fix the smudge for nothing. He knows your insurance won't pay his cousin who has no business license.

So call the guy up, and say "I'ld like to offer you immediate cash compensation, if that would do it. Then you don't have to deal with the insurance company." Offer more than the smudge is worth. You'll get that back by not having your premiums go up.

It may be too late for you to do this. Just remember it for next time. I've done this repeatedly. It works like a charm. I crumpled a guy's hood, backing into his parked car. Totally my fault. His car was old and ugly. He happily took the $500 cash I offered him. I figured an auto body shop would have billed my insurance co. more than that. The guy belonged to an immigrant community where unlicensed handimen do a lot of stuff cheap. He'ld get somebody like that to fix it and pay them under the table . . . and have a few bucks left over.

My insurance company thinks I'm a perfect driver. What they don't know won't bother them. My premium is $59/mon. Good luck! Always take photos with your phone - of the damage AND of the whole car to record its general condition.

[Fireweed]

It's afternoon already and I haven't done anything other than eat breakfast and scroll on my phone. I'm trying to remind myself that there's nowhere that I need to be and that it's okay to do nothing on a day off. I'll probably do a few things just to lessen the guilt I'll probably feel later today if I don't, and to feel less overwhelmed by **** to do with going to work tomorrow. My job doesn't give me enough hours to live on adequately but they are very short staffed so when I am there I am expected to do 12 hrs of work in an 8 hr shift.

I've been really depressed lately. I can't remember the last time I felt this beaten down and hopeless. My patience with everything is shot- I get so irritated by everything and I have almost no patience for anyone.

[Breaking Dawn]

@Fireweed, you sound like any one of us would expect you to feel, tired & frustrated, when we can see the way things are! I marvel at & applaud the workers who are showing up & doing, not only their own work, but also other people's work because they're not there. You need a vacation, & I hope you can get one soon.

[Deilla]

I'm supposed to be paid every Saturday. Here it is late Sunday and I haven't been paid yet. I don't know what the problem is. I speak up every week. I can't quit because no one else will hire me. I haven't worked in 12 years, so no one gives a **** about what I can do.

[T4bbyCat]

That's good advice on handling minor accidents with cash on the spot, especially if your car or theirs is a beater. The one time someone sideswiped me, I didn't even care and let it go, since my car was going to the junkyard soon.

The other "good" news is that gas just hit an average of $5 a gallon in the US, so it will soon be too expensive for many to drive. Maybe not entirely good news, but a silver lining in the inflation.

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

If you had bumped my car & left only a smudge, I would have told you not to report it. Too bad it didn't turn out that way.

Originally Posted by Rose76

Hi Rock, I feel for you because I've been in your situation a number of times. (Mario Andretti I am not.) My dear old dad taught me a way to respond, and I've used it repeatedly, and I've been very pleased with how it has played out. His philosophy was: Do not report accidents involving minor damage, if you can possibly avoid it. When you're the liable party - as you are - here's how you do that: Offer the person you hit cash-money in satisfaction of the damage. You say the following: "I can give you $50 cash right away, if that would make this alright, or you can go through my insurance company." Lots of folks would really rather have cash into their hand quickly, as opposed to submitting a bill to your insurance company - especially if the damage is next to nothing . . . . . and even when the damage is considerable, if their car is kind of old and not in cherry condition.

I have made offers ranging from $50 to $500. My offers were accepted Every Single Time! The party you hit knows that your insurance company is not going to give them a penny in cash. It will reimburse what they have to spend on a mechanic or to a body shop, when an actual bill is submitted. Also, your insurance company is going to set a limit based on some reasonable considerations. They're not going to pay to have this guy's vehicle repainted. So ask yourself, "What do you think a body shop is going to charge to erase that smudge?" It's not going to be a fortune. Furthermore, this guy might rather take $75 that he can put into his pocket, instead of seeing some body shop get $200 for erasing a smudge that's hardly noticeable. How pristine was his vehicle to begin with? (If it's new, a gorgeous vehicle, and totally cherry - then, yes, he wants that perfectly restored.) Otherwise, he might just as soon take your cash. He might have a cousin who can fix the smudge for nothing. He knows your insurance won't pay his cousin who has no business license.

So call the guy up, and say "I'ld like to offer you immediate cash compensation, if that would do it. Then you don't have to deal with the insurance company." Offer more than the smudge is worth. You'll get that back by not having your premiums go up.

It may be too late for you to do this. Just remember it for next time. I've done this repeatedly. It works like a charm. I crumpled a guy's hood, backing into his parked car. Totally my fault. His car was old and ugly. He happily took the $500 cash I offered him. I figured an auto body shop would have billed my insurance co. more than that. The guy belonged to an immigrant community where unlicensed handimen do a lot of stuff cheap. He'ld get somebody like that to fix it and pay them under the table . . . and have a few bucks left over.

My insurance company thinks I'm a perfect driver. What they don't know won't bother them. My premium is $59/mon. Good luck! Always take photos with your phone - of the damage AND of the whole car to record its general condition.

That's very good advice. It is too late now, as I've already reported it, and considering how belligerent the other driver was I'm not sure he would've been open to reasonable offers. I only took pictures of his license plate. I should have taken pictures of the damage, but I'm not very good at thinking on my feet and the man's belligerence made me extremely anxious. I just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. I felt very anxious, and it took me several hours to 'come down' from it. When I feel anxious I tend to feel a kind of runaway anxiety, where I worry about losing my job and being unable to afford anything. It doesn't help that I've been dealing with the recent suicide of someone close to my mother, which (without going into too great detail) has bothered me a lot more than it should considering I barely knew the guy. Then it just reminds me how much I lack any kind of emotional or psychological resiliency, in that even a minor setback like this can have an effect on me.

I already pay nearly $100 a month for insurance, despite my clean driving record. Insurance is extremely expensive where I live. Looking back, I shouldn't have reported it, but waited for him to report it, if he intends to. I also should've offered to pay him directly, but I never would've thought of that myself. Now I just have to deal with the consequences of my actions. Thank you so much for your advice, I really appreciate the care that went into giving it.

[Rose76]

@3rd rock - What you lack is *experience.* That comes with living. What you just went through gave you some *experience.*

I'm very sorry for all you've got on your plate right now. If you're managing to show up for work, you're doing great . . . and you'll be okay.

I grew up shy and introverted and responded to belligerency much as you describe. What expanded my capacities was throwing myself into situations that made me uncomfortable . . . things I thought I would be ill-suited for. You'ld be surprised how much of life's skills are learnable, if it comes down to sink or swim. You're going to surprise yourself, if you just try, once in a while, to stand your ground. Belligerant types probably are the biggest challenge for an anxious person. An approach that can help is to, first, soften your demeanor and reassure the hostile person that "We can make this okay. Let's think about this for a minute." You have to under-react to someone like that. That person is having a hard time calming himself down because he is emotionally immature. You just have to be the adult. Offer him something to think about.

Life will always test you, but you'll have your little victories, and they're sweet. Sometimes you just have to put on an act. Never give up on yourself.

[Violetta75]

I've heard way too many answers for "curing" depression than I want. Just cheer up. Pull yourself up by your boot straps. Or being called lazy when it's difficult to get out of bed when I haven't even slept well. The one that I hate the most is being called lazy. There's a reason I don't feel like doing what non depressed people feel like doing. I celebrate the small victories. I got up at the same time every morning for the past week. I showered. I take care of my pet. I don't think anyone that isn't depressed or suffered from it for very long can understand what it feels like. I think I'm better, at least for today.

[Violetta75]

My sleep is improving. The doseage of my antidepressant being increased made a big difference. I'm going to bed at the same time and waking at the same time. I need to plan an outing to get out around people. Hopefully this weekend someone is available, or I'll just go for a walk.

[Breaking Dawn]

I've been having a hard time. I'm being pretty good with my attitude. I'll keep trying to hang in there. I hope the turnaround happens soon.

[Mountaindewed]

I had some breif depression today just about things in general. Right now I'm just pretty physically tired.

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by Violetta75

My sleep is improving. The doseage of my antidepressant being increased made a big difference. I'm going to bed at the same time and waking at the same time. I need to plan an outing to get out around people. Hopefully this weekend someone is available, or I'll just go for a walk.

Wow @Violetta75 that is good to hear you are sleeping okay again. Routines help me a lot.

Let us know if you go for a walk. Sometimes on a rainy day rather than walking I do 5 minute Tai Chi on youtube

Have a great day!

[Violetta75]

@CANDC thank you for the link. I'm up earlier today, but instead of a walk, it was way too hot yesterday. I did do some stretching excersises. I'll have a look at that link. I feel ok today so far. I think I should have had my antidepressant upped a long time ago. Hugs to everyone who struggles with depression and anxiety

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by Violetta75

@CANDC thank you for the link. I'm up earlier today, but instead of a walk, it was way too hot yesterday. I did do some stretching excersises. I'll have a look at that link. I feel ok today so far. I think I should have had my antidepressant upped a long time ago. Hugs to everyone who struggles with depression and anxiety

I hear you @Violetta75 hot weather walking is no fun for me. I am trying to do more exercise and eat healthier and so far that has given me a bit of an energy boost.

I also use a free app called Healthy Minds that is helping me work to straighten out the mess in my mind and allow me a little more calm. I think it all can help.

[3rd rock]

I received contact from my insurance company that I've been assessed 100% of the fault for the minor accident. This was expected and doesn't bother me. I'm hoping the smudge of paint will be cheap to repair, perhaps a few hundred dollars at most. If that's the case, I'll reimburse my insurer out of pocket for the repairs in order to avoid any increase in premiums.

I'm working on a new book. I don't think it's very good, but then it's just the first draft.

[Mountaindewed]

I'm just in general really really unhappy at the moment. If I eat I get - they need to remove my entire stomach-type pain and nausea. If I don't eat my anxiety and mental health really suffers because my meds don't work properly without food. I have a procedure on Thursday but right now I don't know what to do.

[T4bbyCat]

First heat wave this season, seemingly to commemorate last year's record-shattering heat. Normally I'd be headed to the deserts and forests to enjoy it, but that's tough nowadays. Need to find a place to live first, hopefully in some area like that...

[Rose76]

Physically, I have gotten better and better. Mentally, I've been unmotivated and neglecting everything.

I got some things done today. Maybe I can build on that tomorrow. Mornings are awful. I wake up, stuck in molasses.