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Default Nov 28, 2021 at 12:53 PM
  #421
Yesterday was a typical day. One thing that happened that was odd was my ex-friend's son called me suggested that I should at least send my ex-friend an email saying how I'm doing. According to him, my ex-friend feels really bad that we split up. It was hard talking to the son about all of this since I've never spoken to him before.

Nothing much planned for today. I'll see what unfolds for today. Lately things seem to be going on more than before, so that's kind of exciting.
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Default Nov 28, 2021 at 05:21 PM
  #422
I had a good day but it's late now. This is when I get sad. I guess I can take my nighttime meds and go to bed.

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Default Nov 29, 2021 at 10:32 PM
  #423
I have been feeling really down. Lately people have been taking their anger out on me which has been hurting my feelings lately.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Nov 30, 2021 at 12:06 AM
  #424
I feel okay. It's late. I haven't slept much. I feel like being active now while I feel good and then I'll sleep later.

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Default Nov 30, 2021 at 11:41 AM
  #425
I really want people to stop going on about, I'm spending christmas with family, I'm going round a friends, I'm going to have lots of gifts and a big party

woop dee doo. I'm spending christmas alone, with no gifts and no party. sooo
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Default Nov 30, 2021 at 04:03 PM
  #426
Visited the primary MD; prescription for Lexapro on the lowest possible dosage. Still have yet to pick it up as I'm reluctant to start...but I have to as living like this is not very bearable. I've had such trouble with depression over the years and this round of it seems to be just as bad as any other. No real enjoyment in life at all. And the co-occurring anxiety is nothing fun either. I wish all of you well in your personal struggle with this invisible monster.
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Default Nov 30, 2021 at 11:56 PM
  #427
Just an ordinary day for me. I was surprised that I wasn't feeling too tired today since I didn't sleep well last night. I was blowing my nose for more than half the night. No cold, just allergies.

I have been feeling a little more empty during the nights now since I split up with my friend. We used to chat every night. I miss him but not his antics. Plus it's very hard to let go an only friend I have. Some people say it's nice being alone, but I feel that we all need a nice relationship of some kind.
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Default Dec 01, 2021 at 04:50 AM
  #428
I have my fingers crossed for my accomplishing an important goal this morning.

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Default Dec 02, 2021 at 02:37 AM
  #429
I've got nothing, really. Just attempting to sleep off the wine or worse. Likely worse and a lot thereof.

Need to free myself of physical possessions and be able to relocate quickly.
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Default Dec 02, 2021 at 05:03 AM
  #430
Quote:
Originally Posted by T4bbyCat View Post
I've got nothing, really. Just attempting to sleep off the wine or worse. Likely worse and a lot thereof.

Need to free myself of physical possessions and be able to relocate quickly.
Good luck with those things, T4bbyCat!

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Default Dec 04, 2021 at 04:24 PM
  #431
My SAD hasn't been too bad so far. But its usaully pretty calm during the holidays. Except for last year which I'm still trying to process. I have zero energy right now and I don't even have the energy to peel a hardboiled egg. But I'm not sure thats depression.

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Default Dec 06, 2021 at 11:19 PM
  #432
Felt depressed and blue throughout the whole day today. I still think about my ex-friend whom I let go a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I have nothing now.
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Default Dec 07, 2021 at 05:00 AM
  #433
I'm having a difficult time sleeping, but I'm making the best of it. I played my game for a while and now I'm cooking.

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Default Dec 07, 2021 at 07:03 AM
  #434
I'm doing a little better right now. I'm looking forward to fulfilling a goal today, maybe two.

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Default Dec 07, 2021 at 05:15 PM
  #435
I was doing ok until about noon. This happened last year. Its just SAD. Although my dads wake was 7 years ago today. We didn't have the best relationship after he got sick though so O don't think its heavily affecting me today. Maybe I'll start using my SAD lamp.

I plan on getting some oranges in the morning to see if that helps my depression at all.

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Default Dec 07, 2021 at 06:38 PM
  #436
This evening is hard. I haven't heard from my therapist at all today. She's supposed to check in with me M through F. That's what I pay for but it didn't happen. I think I just need to quit therapy. It causes more harm than good. The responses aren't much most of the time. She ignores most of what I have to say. It's pointless.

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Default Dec 08, 2021 at 01:40 AM
  #437
I just finished the first draft of a new novel. It's not a romance novel, but it follows a relationship between two people. It ends with them splitting up after their relationship falls apart. It includes the viewpoint character committing acts of infidelity late in the story. One beta reader tells me I must rewrite it so the characters are together at the end. But I feel this would completely change the tone of the novel. I'm not sure what to do.

I want to get an agent with this novel. I'm trying to write it from the point of view of a fictional memoir, like the main character is using it to confess his sins. But I fear a lack of commercial potential for a book I want to get published conventionally. I'm kind of at a crossroads.
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Default Dec 08, 2021 at 05:16 AM
  #438
I heard late from my therapist. All she told me to do was to get more active on social media. That will cure my loneliness. Most of the people are strangers or totally not interested in what I have to say.

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Heart Dec 08, 2021 at 07:52 AM
  #439
@Deilla, I think it's good to listen to your own instincts & not listen to your therapist's advice. I don't belong to any of those social media networks. I've read that they can be harmful to us emotionally.

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Default Dec 08, 2021 at 04:11 PM
  #440
I have this compulsion almost to only eat one type of food. But that will just fuel this depression even more. I was able to pull myself away from it but what I'm eating now isnt much better. I need a steak and potato dinner.

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