An uneventful day today. It was gloomy outside but didn't rain. That was OK with me. I took a one hour bike ride and felt better.

[Rosi700]

I have been at the dentist this day too. Afterward I have had a cozy day wile continuing reading the book I read before the weekend.

Tomorrow I hope to do my usual morning routines + take a walk outside. I want to build up what I expect of myself by first make these topics to work, then put into my schedule topic after topic. I have set no "have to be finished" point, because I want the process in itself to be rewarding with the good feelings I get by beieng on my way to something better.

I feel good about myself so far in this rebuilding.

I was busy this morning. But the afternoon dragged as it rained all afternoon. Nothing much for the rest of the day and tomorrow.

[Rose76]

I got through another day. I expect I'll manage to get through tomorrow. One hour at a time is how I take it.

[T4bbyCat]

Originally Posted by Rosi700

I have been at the dentist this day too.

That makes three (or more?) of us... I had my routine checkup today. I think dentists like people towards the middle and later ages, since that's when the teeth and gums start breaking down and requiring more expensive repairs, just like used cars

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by T4bbyCat

That makes three (or more?) of us... I had my routine checkup today. I think dentists like people towards the middle and later ages, since that's when the teeth and gums start breaking down and requiring more expensive repairs, just like used cars

Yes, it was not for free.

[Rosi700]

This has so far been a bad day with much hopelessness.

[Breaking Dawn]

I'm thinking about going to the store & hoping I will. I hope you start feeling better soon, Rosi700. And everybody.

[Rose76]

I went out and did two important errands. Now I'm back home. I have so much anxiety, on top of depression. I tell myself that nothing awful is about to happen. There is nothing for me to be afraid of. It doesn't help. I still feel awful. I should clean the house . . . at least take down the Christmas tree.

[Breaking Dawn]

I haven't gone to the store yet. Still time before they close. Delay. @Rose76, good for you, trying so hard! God bless you.

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I will. I hope you start feeling better soon, Rosi700.

So do I. Thank you for wishing me well, but I still struggle. After a month in depression it is not easy to jump out of it. I do know how to build my way out (how to use the tools), but I am standing before a big choice, to stay or to move. To invest in more studies or not.

Since I haven't made the decision, yet, it is difficult to plan forward.

I have to try. May be I need to set apart time for writing down the different alternatives and then list up the positives and negatives for each choice. I think it has to be so, and on that ground I can try to move forward.

Hope you will feel better too! And of course I send the best wishes for everybody's health, mental and physical!

[Buffy01]

I been trying to change the mental stories I tell myself that are too negative.

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by Buffy01

I been trying to change the mental stories I tell myself that are too negative.

Hope you will succeed with that, that it will help you. I never try to change a real story in my life, but I try to chose where to put my focus (past or present)!

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by Rosi700

May be I need to set apart time for writing down the different alternatives and then list up the positives and negatives for each choice. I think it has to be so, and on that ground I can try to move forward.

I feel better now. It was possible for me to make room in my daily planner to set apart a specific daily time to put positives and negatives with the different choices I have to make. I have understood that it will take some time and I am OK with that.

The problem I struggle with is if I shall move to another state or not. The expenses with living at my place has become quite high so with only that in my thoughts, it would be an easy choice. But there are other "things to take into consideration. Moving far away from my family will probably be hard, even if I visit them once or twice a year.

I am glad this problematic choice is now in the planner. I will use months on this to be able to chose the right alternative and know that I really worked one making the best choice out of the options I found.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with my GP (physical stuff) . Friday I will do work in the home. Next week at Monday I hope to jump into using my ordinary (now altered) schedule.

[Calla lily12]

I went to my analyst today. The whole morning was one mess up after another and I had a major temper tantrum. (Luckily no one was home) My session was brutal and I had racoon eyes afterward. (Eye make up) I know he's trying to help but God ,it feels like he's pulling my brain out through my nose! I'm always exhausted after these sessions and wonder what I'm supposed to do if it all becomes too much. My head has flooded with issues from years ago. I don't understand why, all of a sudden I seem to be remembering everything as though it was now. I thought I had all the memories packed away, but they flood and overwhelm me. I'm tired.

[Rose76]

I did better today than yesterday, not that that is saying much. But I have to be glad I moved ahead even 2 inches.

When I'm not moving ahead, I'm sliding back. Sometimes, you just have to shift into forward. It takes a while to pick up speed.

I was busy this morning. Started the laundry at 6 AM. Someone else was using the laundry just after I started it. I guess word is getting around that 6 AM on Thursday mornings is a popular time to the laundry. For so long, hardly anyone else was using it around the time I do.

After the laundry I did some shopping. I had to go back to the store to exchange a product I purchased earlier realizing I made a mistake. I was upset about having to go out and take the time to go there but it's a good thing I did.

It's really weird how my anxiety and depression hits me. There's nothing going on in my life right now that's wrong or off but yet I feel like it is. I don't know why. Perhaps my anxiety is a little bit stronger for me than the depression. At where I live there are openings for apartments because people are leaving. And now the Jacuzzi doesn't work and I need it because my lower back is a little bit sore. The note says that the repair will happen tomorrow. But most times I see that and then it can take at least a week before someone looks at it and does something..

[Rose76]

A slow day of dealing with a tummy ailment. That made it hard to work on my apartment. Things will get better. I have to believe that. It is what's most likely.

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by Rose76

A slow day of dealing with a tummy ailment. That made it hard to work on my apartment. Things will get better. I have to believe that. It is what's most likely.

One step at the time is always a good solution.

[Breaking Dawn]

I went to the store yesterday & got things I needed & I felt better when I got home.

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I went to the store yesterday & got things I needed & I felt better when I got home.

So goood!

[Rosi700]

This day became very different then I had hoped for, and not in a good way.

Hopefully tomorrow will become better!

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by Rosi700

This day became very different then I had hoped for, and not in a good way.

Hopefully tomorrow will become better!

Fingers crossed for you, @Rosi700!

[Rosi700]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Fingers crossed for you, @Rosi700!

Thanks Breaking Dawn!

[Samicat]

New to the forums - today I'm feeling a bit sick - nauseous and a bit crampy from IBS. But damn it I'm going to work out and get some writing done.