[OafFish]

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

[Violetta75]

My anxiety is high even with the meds which i've had for mqny years..... they don't really do much anymore but put chemicals in my brain that my brain used to be able to make on its own. my life isn't totally hopeless, i've got to remember there can be good days ahead

[Breaking Dawn]

Today was not wonderful. And I think I'm hungry.

[3rd rock]

I really don't want to go to work tomorrow.

I've been sleeping better lately. It helps when the weather cools down. And now it's about 15 degrees cooler than it was last week. This morning is cool and cloudy. Other people I know feel letdown when it's like this after hot and sunny times. Not me! I tend to me more cheery when it gets kind of cold and cloudy. Maybe that's weird, but that's me!

very depressed.

in fact: my first thought this morning was, not another crap day. blah blah blah.

[TheGal]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

very depressed.

in fact: my first thought this morning was, not another crap day. blah blah blah.

Hope you're feeling better, @raging vortex.

I'm feeling like crap today...

Having trouble concentrating.

Scattered...

[Deilla]

I'm having a very bad day.

[OafFish]

Too many thoughts

[3rd rock]

I booked tonight off. It turns out there's a meeting tonight that I now don't have to go to. It's not the reason why I booked tonight off, but it's a very big positive. Not having to sit through those pointless meetings with HR and others...

[Deilla]

I quit smoking today. I've relied on the nicotine patch and Nicorette gum. I've had 2 naps to help pass time. It's hard. Really hard.

Feel more depressed and anxious today. For some reason, Sundays seem to be the worst day of the week for me.

I spoke to my friend and felt more depressed after talking to him. He makes me feel that way a lot. I want another friend but that's hard for me to come by.

In the early afternoon I went online to look up what I want to do for next month for a trip; such as reservations for the flights, hotel, and car rental. I feel the need to get away from where I am but this trip is about scouting out another place for me to possibly move to. I made those plans last year at this time and then I cancelled at the last minute. I wrote about it last year here at MSF.

Overall I'm not feeling great at where I am but hate the idea of having to move.

[Breaking Dawn]

Well, these last several minutes I managed to pick up my mood with some uplifting music.

[MimiBhaduri0]

I am sick with fever, diarrhea, nausea. Plus the physical pains are there like every day. Also the breathing difficulty. I also feel lightheaded and exhausted like I am going to collapse and pass out.
God help me.

Well .... I went and did it! I just finished making reservations for a trip next month.
I'm planning to go to an area that I want to scout out and possibly move to.

Other than that, I had an intensive talk with a friend of mine. When I point things out to him he seems silent. He says so much that brings me down. And I got a shot from the Doctor's office this morning. It seems like it's making me a bit drowsy.

[Mountaindewed]

I felt a breif wave of SAD the other morning when I realized I couldn't open the blinds for my cat at the normal time since it was still dark. Weather wise its still warm. Its just getting darker early.

[3rd rock]

I'm the worst writer in the world.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I'm the worst writer in the world.

Impossible!!

[T4bbyCat]

Originally Posted by 3rd rock

I'm the worst writer in the world.

Just the fact that you're doing it would imply otherwise... I believe most people choose to do things they are good at, not the other way around. Whether for a career or a hobby, the potential rewards are so much greater, not to mention the notion of fulfilling your calling.

I think writing is like acting, sports, etc. -- it takes some luck to break into it. You just have to keep at it and not be discouraged... you never know when the time will come.

[Breaking Dawn]

Not my best today. But considering a lot of way worse things, I feel grateful.

[Mountaindewed]

My seasonal stuff was for sure there today. I'm hoping its just there brefily since things in my life will pick up pretty fast pretty soon.

[Rose60]

I see that you have a daily "Check in" thread here. That is exactly what I need, so here are some words from me.

In my opening post in the "New members" I told about my depression, about not having money to buy help from a therapist and that I had bought a CBT self-help book instead.

I have started reading into it and find it a bit difficult, but I will continue. It impresses me that the author has had a depression herself. She has references to different scientists, according to the methods she presents (makes her creditable), but I am only at her personal start-point.

So far the only thing that has given me motivation, is that this woman is a professional that had a depression herself. She used self-made methods combined with what she professionally knew about how to fight depression. I have some kind of health related education myself. It is good to think about that people of all kinds of educations can have depression. It makes one feel less lonely.

So even if my head is in strong pain and my energy is low, I felt a little motivational ray of light: Maybe I can find components from my own life and make my own kind of self-help that works for me only? May be, may be, or may be not... The most important now is that I have a tiny ray of hope.

[3rd rock]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Impossible!!

Originally Posted by T4bbyCat

Just the fact that you're doing it would imply otherwise... I believe most people choose to do things they are good at, not the other way around. Whether for a career or a hobby, the potential rewards are so much greater, not to mention the notion of fulfilling your calling.

I think writing is like acting, sports, etc. -- it takes some luck to break into it. You just have to keep at it and not be discouraged... you never know when the time will come.

Thank you for your encouragement. I hope I'm getting close, because I just got a second rejection on a submission I made a few weeks ago. Except I didn't make a second submission. That's right: I received two rejections from the same agent on the same single submission. I don't know if I'm being challenged to keep going or sent a message to give up once and for all, but at least I find it funny.

[Rose60]

I feel much more OK then I had expected this morning.

Think that buying the 'CBT self help book' put me in a fighting mood for my emotional health. The author, William D. Knaus, says: "Depressive thinking is a state of mind, not a concrete reality".

I like that; feelings are reality, but depressive thinking is just that, a state of mind (that I hope to receive control over and at that way reduce my depressed feelings).


I have written down 10 musts out of 12 recommended musts by Knaus and added 2 of my own. I will fight and fight and fight every day to follow these 12 musts for recovery. Some of these 'musts' are recognisable, like getting enough sleep, - enough physical activity, - healthy food, while others are new to me.

[Buffy01]

I wished that I knew why I am so depressed. On my first day of therapy. My therapist told me that one of the reasons why I am possibly depressed could be me living in the past and trying too hard to worry about the future.