I was told I’m too needy

A friend, who turned abusive, said I was too needy. I feel hurt and sad.

Meds don’t help.

Can anyone offer any kind or helpful words?

I get comfort from the classics, like Jane Eyre, or Jane Austen. Either books or movies.

Hugs Fuzzybear.

I used to be needy but part of maturing is realizing that that you are trying too hard and you don't need abusive people in your life. It goes nowhere. I am the same person they used to like. If they are manipulative and abusive, I would stay away from them.
You need self love. No medication is going to teach you that.

Love and hugs to you dear fuzzy

Sorry your friend has turned abusive Fuzzybear. It might not have anything to do with you, but more about what may be going on in their life, and they're taking it out on you. But that's no reason to treat you so badly. As the saying goes "with friends like that, who needs enemies?"

I know it's easier said than done, but try not to take it too much to heart. If that is how they really feel, you are better off without them, but I know cutting friends out of our lives can be a difficult thing to do.

Be kind to yourself and take care, we are all needy at times, and there is nothing wrong in that.

Aw, sending big hugs and great love to our Dearest ((Fuzzybear)), whose posts we always love to read. Team Fuzzy, all the way! 🤩And - I also believe your friendship with this person will survive, Fuzzy.😌🙏

Sounds like their loss dear Fuzzybear. You are a kind, caring and empathetic friend. Your needs are important.

I read a quote somewhere, a while back, I think I remember it….

Even the ripest juiciest peach will be offered to someone who doesn’t like peaches.

Kind wishes and peaceful thoughts

I think this probably says more about this friend and their values than it does you.

Having Needs Doesn't Mean We're Needy | Psychology Today

Hope this article is of some help.

Fuzzy I am needy when I am too low. I keep on clinging to my friends(mostly online) and try to look for support and comfort.
Much love and hugs to you.

"Too needy"? seriously? If someone were a quadriplegic would they be too needy? Just because your aliment can't be seen doesn't mean it's not great & extremely hard to deal with. Fuzzy you are not to needy. Some people need more help than others. I am one of those that need more help.

A "friend" I had also stepped out from our friendship by saying pretty harsh words to me. Now I just understand his reaction as a fast way to hurt me and feel like the "winner" of our argument at the same time. People like this are no real friends and their ways are poor and inconsiderate, even they should realize this eventually. Hope you finally move on and some other respectful friendships arise. Hugs.

I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve had that happen to me too. Has she generally not offered much support or not? Maybe she should overwhelmed now or maybe whe is just selfish & is accusing you of being ‘needy’ in order to avoid dealing with your problems.

If she never listens to you, then no, you are not being needy. Whatever you do, don’t talk to her about personal issues.

Keep things light with her. Some people can’t or don’t want to listen to other people’s personal problems.

Tell her how you feel & to not say stuff like that to ypu again as it hurts your feelings.

Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that you are, indeed, too needy. (I'm not saying you are, but let's just assume that you are . . . for the moment.) What kind of friend comes around and throws that in your face? Every single one of us is too something-or-another. But when we are relating to those we care about, we find ways around that. If someone I love is a bit on the needy side, I find ways to manage that . . . like maybe I won't be available for a 2 hour long phone call everyday. Vice versa, this person might find that I'm a procrastinator who's always late for everything. So, if she needs me to show up at 2 p.m., she might tell me to come by at 1:30 p.m., since she's allowing for a tendency she knows I have. We allow for each other's faulty inclinations. Love and goodwill leads us to do that in ways that are kind and charitable. I do that for others, and I need them to do that for me. We all have our tendencies that need reining in.

I think that was a beeyitchee thing for your friend to say, regardless of whether it was true or not true. It is callous to throw a judgement like that in someone's face. Of course, it is hurtful. And it was unnecessary. There are other, more humane ways of setting a limit, if she thought you were imposing too much on her. But she didn't care enough to be bothered.

Quite honestly, you have never struck me as an attention hound. Just the opposite. Sometimes what a person blurts out, by way of criticism, says more about them than about you. But I understand how you could take that to heart and feel despondent about it. I would too.

I had a friend who used to offer me all kinds of "constructive criticism." She would end by saying, "I'm telling you this because that's what friends are for - to tell you what you need to be told." I put up with it for years. Last year I'ld had it. I don't see her anymore. Other people who knew her told me that she could be very arrogant, which she was.

We all have times of need. Friends have options for how they can respond. Saying something hurtful is not the option a real friend chooses.

Thanks Rose. I had a ''friend'' who used to offer me all kinds of ''constructive criticism'' too. It was just mean though actually. She said the ''too needy''' thing, and other so called ''insights'' into me. No thanks! She seemed to think she knew just that little bit more than others. She loved to put everyone into a little box with a label of her selection on the lid. I suppose there were a few who she deemed to be ''worthy'' for some unknown reason and so they maybe received fewer of her negative projections.

I've heard from others that she was the same with them, haughty, arrogant, with so much ''insight'' into others, but very little into herself.

I completely agree, saying something hurtful is not the option a real friend uses. Maybe an ''immature'' or very young person might. But a so called ''mature'' person (over 30 or 35)? None of my real friends have ever said I'm ''too needy''. I would be more than happy to ''move on'' from that person and any other fake ''friends'' who used to clutter up my life.

That awful therapist said (when he was bored with me) ''you were a needy child and your needs weren't met''... Just that. One of his many callous, inane, no insight statements.

If he had said that at the beginning of the ''therapy'' I wouldn't have fed his fat wallet for years. What a JERK. What a ridiculous ''insight'' What young child is NOT ''needy''.....

And my parents were abusive and extremely emotionally neglectful throughout my childhood.

A friend who lives in the same area was severely neglected when very young (as I was). A therapist she consulted said ''there is not a ''cure'' for neglect before the age of 4''... and discharged my friend. (after a few months) wtf??

Having letters after one's name that indicate professional credentials does not guarantee that a person working in a psych-related profession is anyone to be trusted.

I knew an MSW who worked at a large city jail. He was a counselor/therapist with all the certifications. He seemed like a charming person. Then, one day, he told me his philosophy toward the inmates he worked with. He said he did not believe that the plight of persons born into abusive or neglectful families should be regarded with much sympathy. He explained to me that, before a person is born, that person's soul selects the parents they will be born to. So, the person born into a bad home environment has really made that choice for himself. He said he learned this from his religion, which he said was Buddism. His own ethnic/cultural roots were not from any Buddhist part of the world, nor were his parents Buddhist. He had supposedly studied this on his own. Two of his co-workers told me they found his attitude troubling.

In my own quest for help with my issues, I've met some professionals who were caring and generally seemed sincere and well-intentioned. But I've also run into some with whom I had bad experiences. If you're a consumer of psych services for long enough, you're bound to run into someone like that. It's such a betrayal, and it can leave you harmed.

i am very needy...