I feel empty and lost

I don't know. It is more exhausting when you have three lectures in a row.

Well now, I want to cook more because this semester should be easier. I will see what my hand will allow. Today, I visited the doctor, it can be really serious. I need to go to more different check ups to have treatment. This week, I couldn't do anything, it started to hurt much.

Exactly, I think so too. I think I am a person who can bring much into relationships.

When it comes to finding a girl, all the people around me don't even have to try to have a fulfilling relationship or they don't want to. It is not the reason why I want to be in a relationship (I don't compare myself to others), but it's some kind of a perspective. Also, I have been facing more and more situations in which it looks like shame that I've never been in a relationship. That is also not the reason why I don't want to be single, but you can imagine it's really unpleasant at all as it is definitely not my fault that I'm alone. I am active, but it just doesn't pay off.

I have tried some therapy for my problems, but I don't feel that it helps in any way.

Hello, guy. Hope you are feeling a little better in mood.
The problem with your hand is apart from mobility, pain? Let’s see what the check and other tests say. Let’s see what the doctors say and you could start the treatment as soon as possible.

I hear in what you say at being no very lucky so far with friends and girls.
There are guys and girls, people in general, who find very easy to attract people.
I’m not one of these people, of course. And from what you say to me, you also find it difficult.
Again, I can’t be of much help since you already know about my social anxiety so you can guess my social net is extremely reduced. I even isolated myself at 17, for 7 years at home. You can figure how much it affected my social skills.
So, as I can’t help you in this way, I was thinking about your self-esteem and confidence. Working on that made a big different for me in relation to dare to go out of my comfort zone. But, I would bet you don’t have problems with self-esteem from what I’ve read. Am I right?
Another question (not need to reply. Privacy respect over everything). Have you lived many experiences of rejection from girls?
I say because maybe we are doing a big deal of one experience that meant a lot for you.

Having these two friends even when they don’t have much time to share is a treasure, nonetheless. Maybe, you only had little opportunities. It’s not easy to find the right people for you straight away.

Hi, again. No need to reply to my two questions. I have just began to read your previous posts so I could make a better picture. 👍

Hope many users can guide and talk with you.
You seem a great guy.

Hi, rhanks for writing again. I have no problem responding to your questions, but I will reply in the morning. This weekend has been really exhausting.

I already have the answers from your first post. So, no need.
You don’t have to thank me. I come here to share about relevant topics for me and at this very moment, I need to be here so I’m getting distracted for a while from a terrible loss I suffered yesterday morning. One of my four-legged babies. So, you can guess how I’m feeling and at this moment I need to left time passes to face it little by little. I simply need it in that way.

Sorry for your loss.

Just to add to my answers because I don't remember what all I have written in othere threads.

You are right, I have no problem with my confidence and self-esteem.
I have experienced more stories including rejection, not just one. It's just that the most recent one struck me hard.
With those two friends, one is also mentioned one line above. But that doesn't matter in this context. The thing is, we have no opportunities to meet because she lives somewhere else (we study in the same town) and her online communication is not frequent. About the other one, he lives where I do, but since I study abroad, I'm home only during weekends and I need to study then. Also, he dislikes to chat online. So you can imagine that sharing some of my thoughs, communication or going to events is very difficult as I don't know when to expect a response from either of them.

Thank you.
Now, I had to hospitalised my other doggie. Only two days after my little piece of Heaven left us.

I will read the other threads as soon as possible.
Nonetheless, I can tell you that in the Relationships and Communication sub forum, there are pretty active users helping others.
They have social experience and we are all more of less in our 40s or 50s, so it might worthy not giving it up.
I have been helped there a lot, especially with social interactions.

I want you to know my two little pieces of Heaven. You don’t know but they have help me a lot to socialise. I could consider them dogs of therapy.

My female doggie.

Oh, sorry to hear that. I see these two little faithful ones mean a lot to you. I would like to give you some advice, but I've never had a dog so I can relate only on the emotional level.

Regarding the relationships, sometimes, I don't really know what to write because it is not the only thing bothering me. Now it is my injury (also my passions because of it), sometimes family, studies (but that not very often). I feel like I have bad luck with meeting the right people.
In my elementary school, I was an outsider. In high school, we definitely were not a good class and these people were kind only if they wanted something for themselves. One of them is still my classmate. And the two people from there I considered my friends left my life without saying anything. I can't figure out what happened. My university/faculty uses too anonymous and online approach, you either know someone, or you don't. I love going to concerts, but either they are just to big, or my father wants to go so I have no opportunity to meet someone new, or there are not people in my age group. The band I play(ed) in consists of people in totally different age group. And I like going to see ice hockey matches, but the only people in my age group are ultra fans. And that definitely isn't my tribe. I've never felt that I belong to the group of people who were around me (more times it was because they just insulted me). When I felt like a third wheel, I tried talking to them about it. They said they were sorry, but those were just empty words. Every time, nothing changed at all.

You know, I don't feel like I have problems communicating with others or devoting my time to them. That's definitely not the problem, I can always find the time...

Thank you for your kind words towards my little pieces of heart.
I’m kid of misanthropist at this moment. So I’m not good help at all.
All I can tell you is that these people don’t know what they can have. They are missing a marvellous person.
And I’m very happy that you don’t have problems relating to people and have a good self-esteem because I know how bad is to lack of it.
I understand your need to find your loved people. You’re at this age. I only advise you to put yourself at the top. I know it sounds narcissistic but you’re building up your adultness. Go to this concert alone. What happens with your dad? He has or should have his own life. Do it. You are too much nice. Focus on yourself.
By the way. Words are only that words. Like Depeche mode sings: They are meaningless and unnecessary.
What counts are acts.
And I know all I’m saying you already know it because I know you’re smart. I have a especial radar. And I know it.

Anything new about your doggy?

Thanks for the kind words. It feels different when I think so and someone else says it.

I know that too, I needed to work on my self-esteem.

Sometimes, I go to concerts alone, but when speaking of those my father wants to go to, those are usually in a different town (neither our hometown, nor the town where I study). It's difficult because we usually book some accomodation (I don't want to travel 300km during the night) and he also wants to spend time with me. Now, I'm considering going to such concert alone, but I don't know how will it go.

Exactly, words don't change much, actions do.
Since you mentioned lyrics, I always remember song Empty Promises by Black Label Society

Thanks for asking. We are treating my doggie. Let’s see if she gets better with meds and care because she seems to miss a lot the doggie who passed away.
I’m being too much courageous. More than I thought. Surely it’s because I have my 5 senses on curing my other doggie.

I understand. Your dad also wanted to go to the concert and spent time with you. It’s hard to say no to him. I completely get it.

It must be hard to find opportunities to meet new people if you live in a small town. Even in the place you have your University, I think it’s also small, isn’t it?

And I totally understand you being reticent to engage with people you meet in the net. It’s needed to have face to face contact but I must tell you that I met my partner in the internet. It was like going through the face of romanticism twice. One when we communicated on the net and second, when we met face to face.
We’ve been together for 22 years now.
Guess why? I couldn’t meet people in person and behave as a normal person, with the confidence needed because I tend to push away because of my social anxiety. So, this was the perfect way.
Little by little.
I don’t know if maybe you would feel like giving a try.
It’s not that I went to one of these pages for contact or meeting. It was in a forum about Politics.
I was this lucky for once in my life.

P.S.: Hope the second opinion with another doctor bring you good news about your hand.
I’m crossing fingers 🤞🤞🤞

Yeah, I thought this could be the cause. Hope she gets better soon. You seem to be very strong, keep it up.

My home is a rather big village (ca. 8000 people), but there is not many opportunities when it comes to socializing if you are alone (only very few family events). It is located close to the country's capital, but I hate that city. And to make sure, I'm not the type of guy who would go to bars in the evenings. Also, it is difficult to get to my village after 10pm.
The town where I study is also relatively big adn I really like it. On the other hand, I tried to look for some events (meetup and so), but there were only events for specific groups of people, usually based on their career. My faculty has one event per semester and that is presentation of their industry partners. The whole univrsity offers just book and debate club (both activities I'm not really fond of).

With the concerts, this was not a one time experience, it happens regularly. Now, I'm considering going to a concert in two months. I'm not sure if I want to go with my father (appart from the fact that he is not sure of going). I don't think there is anyone who I know who would go and I'm not sure if I want to go alone. It is one of my favorite bands and I saw them last year so I know they have great concerts, but it is in a different town so I would have to travel and I must say it's not my favorite city (not the capital which I mentioned above).

Exactly, face to face contact is a must. I'm considering finding some people online who I could meet in real life. But I must say, that (according to my experience) people tend to be unpleasantly different online and face to face. Also, I tried to find some groups online, but nothing local appeared so no chance for offline meetings.

About the hand, thanks. We will see. I have that appointment in three weeks, so I will have to endure more than I expected because also then, I need another appopintment at the first doctor for treatment and I can't make an appointment now because she has days off. I'm very curious how my math analysis lessons will go because that are just the lessons where writing on computer is a very bad idea and I need to write down equations and take some tests during the semester. And yes, writing is definitely unpleasant (sometimes painful) now.