[darkpurplesecrets]

Tonight I sit here and I find tears just flowing as I try to find words to say what I feel. I am scared and afraid to let anyone inside. But yet afraid to keep everyone away. I feel not worthy or anything to even write here or come here. Maybe I should not. Words elude my mind but my head hurts and I shake as each letter I try to say something. I know depression lies to you but it also makes a good believer of you at times, and I am at one of those times.

I am sorry I am just hurting and I should just hit the delete button. No one would even know I was here. But something inside me tells me not to. Does the hurt ever end, does it ever really get any better? Can anyone really ever care? Can you really ever tell anyone what you hold so deep inside? Is it really ever safe?

Sorry.

cami

[314159pi]

i have been where you are. it can and does get better but it takes a lot of time. it took me two years and there were days where it was worse, too. here's what i can tell you that can help you. you have got to focus on something, anything. maybe to focus on something from your past that made you happy once... something that tastes delicious or a vacation in your past with a loved one. the more you think about this then the less room you are giving the depression and anxiety to breathe. if you let depression breathe and expand it will do so and consume you. fight for a space inside of you where you can find self worth try to keep the depression out of that place. you will see that the place will grow a little bit every week. if you can just hold on long enough you will beat the depression down to something that you can live with and put away. god bless you and good luck. know that you are not the first to face this and you wont be the last. if you live through it you can others. bye.

[bipolar_bear]

I am sorry you are in such pain right now. Yes, depression is a good liar and can be very convincing. Know that, yes, things do get better. Sometimes it is hard to see that and hopefully you will find some relief soon. I can't tell you when you may find someone who will really understand how you are feeling outside of here and possibly a t. Do you have one? I know that it is a good place to express yourself in a safe environment.

Please know I am here and I care. If I can do anything please PM me anytime.

BB

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( cami )))))))))))))


Gentle thoughts to you my friend, I'm holding your hand,
much love,
Fuzzy

[recluse1]

((((((camiandinsides)))))))

Oh sweet darlings....I am so sorry you are in so much pain. I wish I knew someway to magically make all that is bad and ugly in this world just dissappear. But unfortunately, it is never that easy.

I am thankful that you didn't just hit delete and stay hidden away inside yourself. I am thankful you are trying so hard to reach out. And I also extend my hand and my heart to you sweet friend. I lift you up in prayer, may you be surrounded in God's perfect love and in His healing light and His protection be over you always.

People may mislead us, hurt us....But one thing that never changes, never faulters, is God's love for His children. Know that He is with you, draw upon Him, for He is abundunt in strength and wants us to ask of Him for what we need. I love you my friend, God loves you, and so many others here love you.

There is help, there is hope, and you are loved very much. I cannot say enough about the power of prayer, which I know you do alot of. As, we all should, myself included. For we must be prayerful to be powerful. I will continue to be much in prayer for you my dearest friend. Know that I will always be here for you.

much love and many prayers
recluse1

[darkpurplesecrets]

(((((314159pi)))))

Thank you for your support. I understand what you are saying and I will give it a try. Sometimes when I try to think of something else, the others inside do not allow me to just think on something else.

I will try to fight for that space inside me away from depression. I know depression lies to us, but right now I am captured in its grips and being swallowed. But I will try. Thank you again for your wisdom and advice.

cami

[darkpurplesecrets]

(((((bb)))))

Thank you for the support. I am afraid and unsure of where I am. Or who is with me. I know I am not alone bb and I know that whoever it is is terrified. So I am trying to reach her through the darkness that seems to swallow me and sometimes I almost fall into this darkness, being swallowed inside which scares me as I have been in that darkness before and I never want to return.

Thank you for listening I will try to PM you later, when I can find myself and thoughts to write to you. I want to, really. Yes, I have a T and I am just getting to know her. Many changes going on but for the good I think. It is just that time of year and it is hard. Sorry.

Thank you for caring and for being there. Love you.

cami

[darkpurplesecrets]

(((((fuzzybear)))))

Thank you for the hug and for the support. You know how I feel about you. I love you and send you so many hugs back. I feel safer knowing you are here. You mean so much to me. Love you.

cami

[darkpurplesecrets]

(((((recluse)))))

My dear friend and someone I trust. Thank you for your support and your prayers. I am lost somewhere recluse in all this. It is dark and I am falling. Depression has a grip right now on me as I fight for its release. I am not alone here, someone is hurting too.

I do not know right now how to explain what is happening. I just know it is real and it dark and scary. I know you are there and will not let me fall inside to lose myself. I feel sometimes that maybe I deserve this for some reason. But then I ask myself--why?? I was just a little girl and I did not know how to ask for this.

I am trying to hang on and knowing you are there means so much. I am trying to remember God is there, but sometimes I ask is He? For so long it felt as though He was no where to be found. Maybe in my being alive is where He was.

Thank you again. Know that I love you and I am reaching back and holding on with all I have right now. I am scared but still trying. Thank you for being there. Thank you for caring. I love you.



camiandinsides

[its_me]

I cannot believe that you said everything that I feel. I want to cry because it is so nice to know that someone actually is experiencing the exact same feelings that I am - granted our causes may be different or not... I have been so afraid to even post - I posted my introduction and haven't been able to post - until now. I don't know what to tell you, but I think it is really important for us to be here - even if we just browse. Thank-you so much for posting, maybe now I'll be more open to let my thoughts and feelings out. I have been suffering from depression for what seems like forever and it just has to get better. I don't know how or when but it just has to!

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((its_me))))

Thank you for responding. I am sorry you are feeling so bad, but I am thankful that maybe I have opened the door for you to start sharing. It is really okay to open up. Say just what you can when you can. This is a very supportive place and people rerally care.

We all come here with different things on our plates, but we are all hurting in some way and just are reaching out for that support we may not get anywhere else.

It is hard to start, but you will not be judged but accepted for who you are and validated. Yes, I am having a very hard time right now--but I know that I can come here and there are those that will listen.

Sometimes, we do not know what to say or how to say it, but if you just start putting words down, it will come together. At times, I do not even know if what I say makes any sense but I keep going and try to put my feelings in words.

I welcome you to PC and I hope you will continue to come and post. We all care and are here for each other. Sometimes I just need to come and have someone sit quietly with me so I am not alone.

I am here if you would like to talk. You can PM me if you would like. Sometimes just taking that one step, the one you took answering mine--is the most important. I hope to get to know you better. Keep posting, you are not alone.



cami

[its_me]

Thanks for the encouragement... It doesn't take much for me to start crying and the tears are falling. I want to feel safe here and where ever I go and I'm trying. Isn't it funny how difficult it can be, even though I'm alone, safe in my home with my laptop? No one is going to hurt me, I just get so scared. I just don't know what to say. Maybe I'll try again later. Thank-you for the kind, supportive words!

KS