[itsjustme111]

No I guess it does not matter. I took an overdose. I guess I shouldnt do that because I cant be sick. I am a parent and they have to take care of their kids. I came for support; it doesnt matter. I ask why someone would feel that they are mad at what happened; but it doesnt matter.
WELL NO; IT DOESNT MATTER. I just should have taken more. I hate this life and if I do that; well I guess I should do a better job. I dont matter; I know. Its good to know how others feel; it reinforces the way I feel. Glad to know; it doesnt matter. I guess I found the route to my future. I said I was dying, I wasnt kidding. It didnt come soon enough. My heart is broken and it can stay that way; it doesnt matter.
Take care all of u and I hope u all do well.

[SeptemberMorn]

It DOES matter! YOU matter! It matters to your friends and it matters to your family, especially your kids! Don't know what to say to you because I'm not sure where in the process you are but regardless, You Need Help Now! Make That Call! You wouldn't be posting if you didn't want the help. This just isn't the place for it.

Make the call, Justy! Now!

[itsjustme111]

Whoooo. I overdosed a couple of days ago. I went to ER and got help. I am angry at what someone said. No this is not the place for me. I didnt mean that I just overdosed now. Geez, I wouldnt do that here. Thats wrong and I am sorry that my post did not exlain that. I didnt mean to alarm u. I would never do that. I am sick, no doubt. I am trying to deal with it; I have no choice. My doc has not given me that option. I have a contract and I have to go in for treatment daily. I am very sorry; reading the post did look like a suicide "note". I should have explained the whole thing. My mistake and I admit that wholeheartedly.

justy

Justy,

It is with great relief I have just read your explanation. Your posts did read as if you had od'd tonight.

Thank you for clarifying. I was worried. I know that I often post cryptically as my brain forgets that not everyone else out there knows the backstory or details that I leave out of my posts. I sometimes reread some of mine and wonder how anyone made sense of them at all!

I'm sorry things are as hard as they are.

[ktp]

Woooo...I was thinking the same thing!

Justy -- we make mistakes, we're human as far as the overdose goes. You're in alot of pain. I hope everything starts getting better for you REALLY SOON. No one should ever say anything insulting to anyone. It's no one's right to judge anyone else. It's hypocritical. I'm sorry someone else has hurt you. Please take care.

((((hugs)))) if you don't mind them.

Kimberly

[mj14]

Justy,

You *do* matter...and there are lots of folks here who care so much for you, and know how hard you are struggling to get better. Many of us know that place, where it feels like it's too hard to keep trying, and giving up is the only option, but it's not true. It is *SO* worth it to keep trying, because there is something better there for you.

Please don't give up on us, and definitely don't give up on yourself. You are worth more than you can imagine.

*hugs*
Jo

[Fuzzybear]

Some so called professionals can be so callous! GRRRRRRR!

You do matter justy ... a lot. Big hugs to you! ((((((((((((((((((justy))))))))))))))))))

[Wants22Fly]

I am so sorry that you are in pain (I'm one who doesn't know the back story). But a dosage mistake -- well, it's a mistake.

Speaking strictly from myself, I've noticed that when my self-messages about how "It doesn't matter" or "I don't care" are strongest, it's usually because something matters so much that it hurts, and I can't stand the hurt anymore and am walling myself off from caring with those messages. Of course, these attempts not to feel anything make the pain worse. Yesterday, my T reminded me that depression so muddles our brains that we do the very things that make it worse -- pushing people away, isolating, negative self-talk, etc.

You matter to your many friends here.

<font color="purple">((((((((You mattter))))))))</font>

[SeptemberMorn]

Justy, I got your PM. Thank you, Sweety. However, I tried to answer it and it wouldn't let me. Just said there was a problem encountered.

I can't imagine that anyone would be so callous as to tell you it doesn't matter. That is so cold and selfish of whoever said that to you!! Obviously, they haven't been in the pain you are in. I would discuss the matter with a moderator or PM John about it. We're here to support each other, NOT to bring others down!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Justy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[dexter]

Justy

I know it is hard but if you are keeping with your daily treatment plan, things will get better. It doesn't feel as if they will get better, but they will. Are you still meeting with your T that you trust? You know you always have her as a "grounding point" if you feel the treatment isn't going well and need to make a change.

[lost_lonely]

((((((((justy))))))))))) I hope with all my heart that some day soon you find the peace you are searching for. Please stay with us.

[downsolong]

Whew! Justy, you matter! Having just chatted with you so recently I was terrified, reading your post, afraid one of my worst fears had come true, that in my triing to break out of my long isolation with my hopelessness, pain, and rage at the world somehow I'd inadverantly said somethin. Somehow everyone here needs to remember that we're all here seeking support, and answers, and that sometimes(?) growth and people are rather thorny experiences. At some level I think at least we all always mean well even if we're incapable of sounding as though we do while triing to ferret out answers to this stuff. try not to over think it, or let someone's comments, that may be way more about them than you, get to you. We need o work hard on our stuff (too darn hard,darn it) and yet remember to stay soft on the people. So glad to see your later post here, I mean you're one of the first people who's name I'm starting to remember. Hope you're feeling better and better. later, Downsolong

[itsjustme111]

I dont know what to say really; WOW. Thanks everyone. These heartfelt replies have touched my heart and soul more than I could explain. My anger has calmed down and thinking more clearly. So thats good. U are all too great; I hope u all see this.

Love;
Elizabeth

[Leslie]

((((((((((((((((((((JUSTY)))))))))))))))))

YOU DO MATTER,
We care,
Love,
Leslie