 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jul 28, 2008, 12:28 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Tomorrow I have my second appt. with my new T. I realized tonight that since he really needs to understand me (I feel that this is not working really well), I would make copies of my current resume - to see how others perceive me - and then I went looking for my old poetry here.
It terrified and triggered me terribly. I had forgotten the pain, the anguish I felt 3-4 years ago and how much I used to beg for death and self injure. What was worse tonight, was that the pain is still there, but I have stopped expressing it. I am like an automated machine, going through life without being able to release my stress. What happened to me? How and why did I stop doing this? I had major flashbacks from that poetry.....I can still see the red and the hospital stays. How did I block all this and still function? I am in a lot of turmoil and frustration now. I have to be able to let go of these sensations, but I can't. Now what?  Mary Alice |
|
#2
Jul 28, 2008, 02:18 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((((((((((((Mary Alice))))))))))))))))
I'm sorry you're feeling so bad right now. I feel the same way sometimes when I read my old poetry. It can emotionally stir up an awful lot. Stay safe. Bring the poetry to the new T if you think it will help, it sounds like you still need support to deal with your pain. 
__________________
|
|
#3
Jul 28, 2008, 09:00 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
((PlanningtoSurvive )))))
please take care of yourself I agree old poetry can bring back so many memories your a kind person muffy |
|
#4
Jul 28, 2008, 09:11 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am soooo very sorry that you are feeling this way right now. I will keep you in my prayers.
Hugs, Angel
__________________
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul... Angel |
|
#5
Jul 28, 2008, 11:13 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I agree, take it to your therapist and allow him/her to help you work through all this stuff. You must have found a way to cope. Coping is good for survival. Good work! Real peace comes with really working through all the stuff, not just coping, however. But on your way if you must just cope this is good.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#6
Jul 28, 2008, 11:43 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
{{{{{{{{{{everyone}}}}}}}}}}} thank you. Last night was really difficult. I ran off copies of the poetry, as far back as 5 years ago, and I am going to bring them with me to my appt. today.
My new T needs to see this side of me, and the poetry will certainly make sure of that. I just wish I knew when I started blocking all this pain and how to deal with it now. I have to work through it, but I don't know if it is better to just keep functioning. Thanks for the concern and support everyone. Mary Alice |
|
#7
Jul 28, 2008, 11:45 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
PlanningtoSurvive said: I have to work through it, but I don't know if it is better to just keep functioning. </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I would think you work through it when you can and you cope when you have to?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#8
Jul 28, 2008, 11:53 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I realized though that I haven't worked through it and feelings about depression are just as strong. I need to do something though.
Hopefully my new T will care enough to read the papers. He hasn't been very good so far. Mary Alice |
|
#9
Jul 28, 2008, 12:05 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
PlanningtoSurvive said: I realized though that I haven't worked through it and feelings about depression are just as strong. I need to do something though. Hopefully my new T will care enough to read the papers. He hasn't been very good so far. Mary Alice </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I got better by taking it into my own hands and looking for my own answers. My therapists supplied a lot of insight but I also got a lot of info from reading. I didn't have the benefit of a website like this one. I took the most pressing issue that I had at the time and then got to work on it.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#10
Jul 28, 2008, 11:26 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
((((((((PlanningtoSurvive )))))))))))))))))))))))))
I think you are starting to work threw it now Keep answering here Keep posting Your a good person I think you are expressing your pain and depression now (((you are very important))))))))))))))))))))))))))) muffy |
|
#11
Jul 28, 2008, 11:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
{{{{{{{{Muffy}}}}}}}}} you are such a special sheep. I gave that old poetry to my new T today and asked to him to read them, so he knows "me". I also told him when I call, it is important and I can't afford for it to take 3 calls before I get a return call. He gave me "permission" (I didn't like that term very well) to have him paged next time. It wasn't what I was looking for, I had wanted to be able to email him like my old T........but he never said anything about that.
 He wants me to find some creative outlet again. We'll see. Mary Alice |
|
#12
Jul 28, 2008, 11:40 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
(((((((PlanningtoSurvive )))))))))))))))))))))
I am glad you gave it to him SOmetimes are written words are even more important As you can really say what you think ASk him aboout e mailing Never hurts to ask ((you are very special too)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) thank you for being here muffy |
|
#13
Jul 29, 2008, 08:39 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Good luck at your appointment.
Hugs, Angel
__________________
Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul... Angel |
|
#14
Jul 29, 2008, 08:50 AM
|
||||
|
||||
 (((((((((((((( Mary Alice ))))))))))))))
__________________
|
|
#15
Jul 29, 2008, 11:43 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
{{{{{{{{{{{{Angel and Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}}}}} thank you.
Mary Alice |
|
#16
Jul 29, 2008, 11:49 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
(((PTS)))))) i hope you are feeling better soon... it sure takes a lot of work doesnt it? i am always thinking of you and sending many wishes fr your success...
|
|
#17
Jul 29, 2008, 11:53 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
{{{{{{{{{{{{Nowhere}}}}}}}}}}} you are such a good friend. It takes a tremendous amount of work, and sometimes I am just not up to it. I think today is one of those.
Mary Alice |
|
#18
Jul 30, 2008, 12:57 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
its ok to know your limits Mary Alice.. i read some old poetry and threw almost all of it away.. the few i saved were decent i thought tho... a lot of my past writing was just learning how to assemble my thoughts... poetry had some sort of romantic ring to it for me in those days.. it helped to write it even if it wasnt all a masterpiece.. maybe the masterpiece is us?
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Forum | |||
| Brainwashed long and way trigger | Survivors of Abuse | |||
| My Poetry (trigger) | Self Injury | |||
| Long, Long, Long post. Trigger | Survivors of Abuse | |||
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
