How are others' husband's handling DID???

I gave my H an article to read on DID that I thought was pretty good. He thought so too. He agreed with the DX. Good step. He told me he was feeling real grief that our relationship won't ever be what he had pictured--adult to adult without all the "episodes". I am afraid he feels cheated and angry and will get tired of this whole roller coaster ride. I know I am. Just wondering how other husbands deal and what can I do to make life easier for him?
White Iris

I'm not a husband, but my husband experiences dissociation.

He has been very open with me and I know everything that is going on with him. He doesn't have others, but he has fugue states where he runs off and does things unlike him.

Anyway...we've really worked together. Its tough, but worth it. Feel free to PM me if you have more questions. I will try to help.

my hubby doesn't know my official dx. he wouldn't understand it if he did. it's something only i, my t, and my online friends know. i'm not ready to tell anyone in life. i don't know if i'll ever be.

as far as "acting out", my family knows i'm "nuts". they know that i go off on tangents, or clean for nine hours without speaking, or go to the bed and cry, or need to hold a finger when crossing the road, or buying strange things (i have a two year old i'm caring for now which is a great cover ).

they know how i am and have pretty much accepted. i deal alone. i chose it that way. i've not been highly supported in the past with things that are more understandable (i.e. physical conditions). i don't see that i would get the support that i need, so i don't tell.

gl. i'm so glad your hubby responded well. i don't think he will tire of you. i've been married to hubby for 18 yrs now, and i wasn't even the one who married him! ugh. you'll be fine

love,

kd

I have one of those rare husbands who kind of figured it out himself. He just came right out and asked me one night what my dx was. He has since gone to T with me and talked with my T about my dx. He explained the dx to him so he could better understand it. That's helped a lot. So anytime now that I'm having problems my T will ask to see my husband and let him know how he can help me when I can't tell him myself.

my h thinks i have demons.
He doesn't believe in therapy and hates my T and psyDr. He met with both of them at different times and remembered and told my psychiatrist things about my history- like when we were dating- i was always too afraid to go home and he'd end up talking to me in the car for hours until 2 or 3 in the morning. Even though he knows i have a trauma history- still he doesn't believe my parts are parts- everything is a spiritual issue and he is right spiritually and i am wrong. tears.

It's so painful to have family that isn't supportive. i would have never told him myself- he found out by accident when i was committed after an overdose.

H also resents having little ones out- i feel badly about it because he can never have a totally equal adult to adult relationship- (but neither can i) . it's a painfully hard mess to live, with a lot of anger and regrets. The thing to do to make it easier- going to therapy so i could someday learn to communicate with parts- h makes more difficult because his anger forces me to live in more separations and dissociate more.

it's a sad mess for both of us- he's always angry with me for doing and saying things that i can't help. i feel badly but there isn't anything that i can do to change.

kerria

I have a supportive husband. He knows as much as he wants to 'bout my DID. But he continues to surprise me w/ how much he does understand. It's a tough thing to understand, even for us. I send him some links myself 'bout DID. I can't read them! too detailed, but I ask if he would at least skim them. He knows what he needs to, I mainly have him look at them so he knows I am not an unique case. That there are others like me out there.
I guess how to make it easier on him (& yourself) is to be honest & do what you did, send him info on this subject. Also what I found, try not to get frustrated when they don't get it. To me, how can people NOT understand me talking to myself, losing time, etc. But they don't understand 'cos they aren't DID. I have to learn patience.
Love,
RM