[alikat]

somehow everything i have worked for and reclaimed in the past 7 years is all gone and i have nothing. never have i been so unaware for this long. are WE damned? cursed? WHAT!?!?!?!

alikat,

can you explain more about what was lost? Could it just be a shifting of perspective from others inside?

My apologies if I cannot grasp what is going on for you.

safe hug if wanted ---> ((alikat))

[kimmydawn]

((((((((((((((((((((alikat))))))))))))))))))))))))) all the internal work of the last seven years is gone. real life things that you've worked for is gone? whichever the case, i'm so sorry. i've been thru a major relapse recently internally due to an external event.

i can only hope that whatever is going on with you, that your world improves.

please be safe and let us know.

kd

[RhysMadison]

When you're able, I hope you can talk to us more 'bout what's going on. Hopefully we can help, even if our 'help' is just to listen.
Love,
RM

[alikat]

sorry i posted and ran. everything is such a mess right now. i thought that WE were all under control, but in this existence nothing is for certain. i lost my job, my ex and his new wife filed for placement change, my pdoc is messing around with my meds making daily life even more difficult, i finally bought a house that i'm going to be living in alone (we hate alone), some of the more destructive others keep putting us at risk, and therapy seems to have come to a standstill. I have felt so good for so long. I think the longer you can maintain, the worse setbacks are to the psyche. i have had so many suicidal thoughts that i've started to keep myself at home. i know isolation isn't healthy, but it's the only way i feel safe. my pdoc and t know, but they just keep saying we'll find the right meds just be patient. i'm really trying.

[RhysMadison]

I hope things look up for you soon. I'm not on meds, tried all the older ones w/o success & am tired of the game. I hardly go out, I'm in isolation, but I do okay w/ it. I'd like to have local friends, but we've been here 5 years, if I haven't made one by now, I won't. I'm content w/ being online w/ all the friends I've made.
Hope you feel better soon.
Love,
RM

oh sweetie that is a horribly hard time for anyone to handle!! All of you are doing great. We would probably isolate if changing meds and not able to talk in therapy. Sounds reasonable to us! Even if we all know, like you said, that isolating isn't the best idea at times it is all we can do.

I'm very glad to read your pdoc and T both are on board supporting you through this difficult period of adjustment.

I think you're correct in stating that the longer we maintain the worse the setbacks are to the psyche. YES!!! That is exactly how we feel after periods of higher functioning when everything goes topsy turvy and we're back in the darkness and horrible thoughts.

We can tell you are really trying. Don't worry about "being here" unless it is something that helps or comforts you. We'll be here whenever you're feeling up to coming back around.

Until then......

fondly,
__zh

[cat_eye]

(((((((alikat)))))))

((((((((((((((((((alikat)))))))))))))))
white iris

[fgh]

hey i don't know what doctors think when they hear somebody is mpd and all they think to do is throw meds like everyone in the circles can handle that. each one of us is different and they think one med is gonna fix us all or do they just want to get rid of enough of us so they can control us or something? i don't know what to do cuz i'm not getting a say in anything much now nona