Questions about DID in therapy

Three quick questions for people who have DID and are in therapy:

1) What does your T do when you switch in session and the end of the session is near? Does your T try and get "you" back or let whoever is out go? In my case, there is NO control about who is out, so T just lets whoever leave, etc.

2) What does your T do when you switch in session and forget everything? Does your T tell you what happened? or just ignore it?

3) Has your T ever gotten mad at an alter?

sorry shouldnt have said anything

1. before I was integrated if I switched at all in my therapy sessions my therapist did nothing different than if I was not dissociated. she said this was because my alters took care of me all my life so there was no reason to believe different just because I was in therapy. because I had this protection measure of having alters there was no reason for her to try and "get me back" she said DID people naturally come back on their own to being grounded when they are ready to. She said it would actually be useless and a waste of time trying to coax me back to being grounded if I wasn't ready to remain grounded on my own. she used the saying you can lead a horse to water but you cant make them drink. She could give me the skills needed but she could not force me to stay aware or come back if i wasn't ready to do that.

2. no my therapist believes that I would know what I needed to know on my own when it was time for me to remember. she said imagine someone telling you. that you have gone through the most horrific things and you told all about it, it could lead to lots of embarrassment, denial, guilt, and upset. remembering things on my own wasn't going to me easy but it would be in my own time at my own pace not her forcing it upon me. there are still things my therapist knows about me that I dont remember myself and thats fine with me because I agree with her. I would rather remember in my own way and time.

3. no. my therapist does not believe in getting mad at her clients DID or not. she never raises her voice nor shows any other anger towards me or my alters. we have disagreements but never inflicting anger and madness, she says abuse survivors have gone through enough where others have used their being mad/angry in wrong ways. they don't need it from their therapists too.

My T always made sure that I was back in charge or at least aware of what was going on before she allowed me to leave the room and return home.

My T would talk to me about what happened if it pertained to my therapy and or if I wanted to know... other wise we just the little ones have their say.

NO - my T has never gotten upset or angry with me or any of my 15 alters that use to be around every day of every hour.

((((Moosetracks))))

Thank you for posting and for asking those questions. Things have changed for us as we have gotten farther along in the healing and co-consciousness.

1.) When I first started out my t did not try to get me to come back unless I would but at least one of the older ones that could drive and take care of the littles. If she could not get them to switch out, she would not let us leave until someone that could get us home came forth. Sometimes it was one of the others that went to session and I did not even step forth but they always kept our appointments and was not late. Now, my t encourages those within to come out and to say what they need or want to say but since we have co-consciousness now, I always come back by the end of session. So it has changed since the beginning when no one knew about anyone else.

2.) Many times when I used to switch in session my t did not tell me what happened because I did not want to know for it was all I could take knowing someone else came forth and I was trying to accept that there were others. When I moved I asked my friend to tell me if it was real or if it was not as I was still having a hard time believing I was DID. Now, when I have session, my t does not have to tell me as I have co-consciousness most of the time. If I am not there then sometimes depending on if I want to know he will tell me. But many times I can ask within and find out. My t does not push it on me for at times they are reaching and when they are ready as me, then I will be told. Right now, those that write seem to write so I know what they have to say.

3.) My t does not get angry at me. The t's I have had have all been kind to all within and myself. No matter how many times we ask questions and so many times the same question over and over again as everyone within is trying to find that safety and trust, they never get angry but answer in the same calm and assuring way as the last. And those within seem to know it is okay to ask as many time as they need to for they never knew it was okay and there never was any trust. They seem to all ask the same type of questions just some ask them more deeply and more adamently at times and more persistant. But our t's do not yell at any time. One of my t's would write a post-it every time we went for us to carry with us that she cared and she was not going anywhere. Many other things she would write down and she would always ask what color of post-it we wanted that day. We collected them and they are still in the fronts of our journals and we still can read them anytime we need to.

Again than you for posting and hope this helps you some. Sending gentle hugs and loving thoughts. Always.

dps

1. Most times, she does try to get me to come back out, but I agree with this mostly because my parents would notice that something is "off" if I didn't.

2. If she's annoyed with me, she'll tell me, almost like she wants to rub my nose in it or something.

3. She's gotten angry with me several times, especially lately. She doesn't yell, but she becomes very b*tchy-mother-like (as if I don't get that enough at home!!) and says stuff like "you're making this very difficult". It's really unprofessional, it pisses off several of my alters, it doesn't accomplish anything beneficial, and right now it just makes me hate her and not want to come back.

I despise therapy right now, and my T is definitely not my favorite person by any means. Screw her, man. She's not a DID therapist and we're transferring to a new therapist soon (one who specializes in dissociative disorders), so who's she really hurting by chasing us away?? When we switch T's, the only way it will affect us is in a good way, so whatever. I hate my T right now. I don't care if that's the BPD talking, or if it sounds childish. Her bulls*** is NOT helping at all--she's just making s*** worse. (damn, out of angry red smily dudes...)

Moosetracks:

I am sorry, I am a bit sick and my head feels like a dizzy so I hope I can keep the focus and answer.

You would have to ask the therapists because I just don't know but have they ever raised their voice. No! My therapists seems to be very creative at finding ways to voice their disapporoval of an alter doing something not acceptable.

Moosetracks,

Here are our answers to your questions:

1. Many times our C asks us who should be "in charge" when we leave so he knows who to call out when it is time to go. It doesn't always work out that way, but it is a start. Our C doesn't insist on our host being out when we leave, but he does insist that whoever leaves has to be able to drive (so obviously not a younger/little) and know about social rules and appropriate behaviours.

2. If we switch during session and whoever our C was talking to and doing therapy with does not remember, he usually tells that person or has someone tell that person what went on. Our C is great and he lets us email him in between sessions and he will let us ask questions about what we don't remember and he responds to us. He doesn't ignore important things about us or our sessions.

3. Our C has never gotten mad at an alter or our host (and believe me some of us have done some really strange and inappropriate things in sessions). He always responds to us with kind words and hugs. He has never raised his voice or gotten upset with us. In fact he has even tried to combat our negative feelings when we have gotten upset at ourselves and he tries to explain why some of us behave the way we do. He has been nothing but a kind, gentle, caring man; the complete opposite of most all the other men we have encountered.

I hope this helps you Moosetracks. We have almost been in therapy with our C for a full year. That is the longest any C has ever "stuck" with us before. We hope that you have as great a C as we do. We were extremely luck to find him. Hugs when safe.

Faith

1) My T always makes sure I am safe before I leave. We have stayed 20 min over more than once because he wanted to make sure I was safe.

2) My T is always mindful of my host mental state. He makes sure I was either aware of what was said, or he will give me a summary of what was happening and what was said.

3) No. My T works very hard to try to understand the pain of the alter who is out. Even if the alter is mad at him, he always responds with compassion and a professional attitude.