Feeling unsafe...

Caroline,
You wrote,[...what is...(the way out)...]?
In depression, I can think of no darker place to be in. The way out of the darkness can be by following the light. There is light now , but it is dim. Does it make sense that if the light that is dim now, could become a Beacon of Light, that the light will dispell the darkness?
Lou

Sorry Lou, but I don't understand you. Can you be a bit clearer?

Caroline,
You wrote,[...be ...clearer...?].
I would like to clarify what you are not clear about. Could you write what it is that you are not clear about ?
Lou

Caroline,
Try this to make clearer.
Suppose depression that you describe is like living in darkness. Now there is some light , but it is dim. You can see to some degree and you try to make your way through the darkness throughout your day. It is difficult to do things in the dark. evrything is hard to focus on, things look veiled, covered, can't make them out.
Now let us suppose that there becomes a beacon of light to shine in your life. Your life is lit up. You can easily do things. You see things that were once veiled or covered that you did not know were there. The darkness is dispelled by the light.
This is just one analogy from my perspective as to overcomming depression. We can curse the darkness, or light a candle.
Lou

I don't get it, even though I'm not Caroline, so this is a hijack.

Caroline,
You wrote,[...can you be a bit clearer?...].
Your depression that you describe has a way to be overcome. My perspective of how that can happen may be unbeknowing to others here and could seem to be different and not be able to be understood by some. Since I was responding to your post, if you would like to know about the light that dispells the depression, I think that others could respond in their way to you on the thread at large and that we could have our own unique discussion via the PM system here.
Lou

Thanks Tamzin.
Be safe

Caroline

Thank you Lou, but your vagueness is not helpful to me, in fact it is frustrating to me.
I have to say I find it really difficult to read what is more or less the same response made by you to messages posted by a number of different people here. I don't like not understanding. If you can't post things clearly and openly here I am not interested. Sorry.
I suspect you are trying to evangelise - that is my impression. I have to say that the implication that some kind of religious belief can totally defeat depression is one I find quite insulting, having been a Christian suffering with depression for many years. Christians get depressed too, and it is no reflection on their faith.
If you have been able to overcome depression and you feel that victory is solely due to your faith, then I am pleased for you, but it is not my experience or that of many other Christians. I battle not to feel guilty about being a depressed Christian, and this does not help.
I'd like to recommend a book to you that has helped me in looking at depression from a Christian perspective. It is called "A Practical Workbook for the Depressed Christian" and is written by John Lockley. He is a Christian doctor (GP) who has himself suffered from depression.
If I have totally misread your intentions then I apologise wholeheartedly. However, I don't wish to get into discusson about this in PMs, and I don't feel that it is helpful to me to continue to read your messages. I respect your intentions if they were to try to help me, but I'm afraid your approach is not beneficial to me.
Caroline

Caroline,
You wrote,[...if I have...misread your intentions..I apologise...].
Thank you for the apology, for it was not my intention to have a discussion on any of those topics that you suspect.
My overiding concern is that your depression is not going away after what you posted help here for. I wanted to offer you help from my perspective and if you have determined already that you would not appreciate it, even not knowing what it is that we could discuss, then I understand .
But if you find relefe from your depression here on the forum at large, then that is wonderfull. My offer to you for discussion via the PM system was only because what we could have discussed may have been unique to us only and not understood by others. If at any time you would like to continue our discussion, I would welcome it .
Lou

Hoping you have a better day tomorrow..... good vibes being sent your way!
((((((((((((((((((((Caroline)))))))))))))))))))))


Fuzzy

PS GGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR at the NHS

Thank you fuzzy.

It's been a VERY tough one at school today. I even cried. The last straw was finding, in my pigeonhole, a 3 page leaflet from the head on "Last minute preparations for OFSTED" full of "points to do" before they arrive. No, we don't know when they are coming. This is all overkill. 21 things we have to do, check or remember. It's too much. I can't do it all. I might be able to go through OFSTED if only I wasn't constantly being told about it. I feel I can't cope. Now I am worrying that the inspection might coincide with my hospital appointment and then I would have to decide whether to postpone that. I know the pressure would be on me to postpone it, but I don't know if I can deal with it. I hate this. It is SO easy for other people to tell me that I am doing everything I need to and not to worry, but I'm not made like that and when I am told I should be doing this that and the other, I worry about those I am not (cannot) do. In every lesson, I MUST:
Be positive
Have all marking completely up to date.
Identify all the children in all my classes who are either gifted or have special educational needs (I teach about 300 children every week, many of them for only one hour each week).
Keep all the children engaged, motivated, on task, challenged, learning and making clear progress in every lesson.
Write the learningo bjective on the board and refer to it throughout the lesson.
Have an effective starter, main part and plenary for each lesson.
{Plan for all types of learning styles.
Differentiate
Make sure teaching assistants know what they are going to do with pupils before the lesson starts.
Make sure the lesson has appropriate pace and challenge.
Use a variety of activities to motivate and engage boys.
That's just in the lessons. There are another 10 points relating to general things (like knowing the 5 elements of Every Child Matters) and more still relating to subject leadership.

I can't do this!

To top it all, the head asked me today if the school website was up to date (perhaps he could look at it occasionally and find out for himself!)

I quit.

C

Ugh Caroline so sorry you have to go through all this.

(((((((((((((((((Caroline))))))))))))))))))))

I wish I could help you out.

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