is this supposed to be

I have been dealing with many other issues for the past several days and this thread has escaped me. I too lie shadowdancers thread. I don't see any reason to have to make littles go to a special place. Also, lets be honest, did or not, we all have little people inside. I am concerned about trying to daignose someone so we know they are "fit" to post in this forum. That seems very biased and when I see it I think, "i have bigger injuries then yours therefore I am worthy of posting here but you are not" I hope that makes sense. I am not interested in hurting anyone, causing hurt feelings. I am also not interested in seeing other people get hurt feelings.

In my opinion each of us needs to step outside of ourselves enough to truly see our neighbor. Also, DID or not I see nothing wrong with creating safe fantasy places. It is a survial, coping skill that can be helpful for many people.

Most of all I am hurt for others as I read this thread. It feels like a lot of hurt and misunderstood feelings. I wish that in my heart, and in the hearts of others that our first thought was to love and do no harm.

Lastly, DID and related disorders is not a club. If it is I wish I could quit. I didn't chose this diagnoses. I have it like the rest of us here because things were so unbearable during a part of our lives that we compartmentalized and for some people split.

I can find a lot of people in the outside world to be angry with and maybe even some of them deserve the abuse I feel like sending in their direction. However, I don't need to hurt people here. I hope I don't. I hope we can hear eachother and move on. Incidentally, there have been pity parties etc in other forums as well. Let's not single this one out.

Congtatulations to any of us who can let ourselves go to a comfort cave and feel safe. I want to have that skill.

PEACE TO ALL WHO ENTER HERE, AND MAY EACH HEART BE FILLED WITH LOVE.

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Zorah said:
(((((shadow)))))), (((((atg6))))),

great posts by both of you

everybody leave over matter of definition.

we think it's worth trying to fix this forum

it was a happy forum when we came here, now everyone's fighting

what the hell is going wrong here ?

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Exactly, and for this:

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we think it's worth trying to fix this forum

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

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Zorah said:
it was a happy forum when we came here, now everyone's fighting

what the hell is going wrong here ?

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well one thing is we don't see fighting........we see discussion happening here but if some folks are thinking this is fighting then that can skew their perceptions of how differences are worked out and compromise is reached. some say fighting. some say discussion. some say useless spinning of wheels. all different opinions of the same thread.

no wonder there is so much discord if this is what folks might be thinking about this forum.

people here are NOT going to agree on everything. people turning personal with attacking statements are not helping further any understanding. people taking everything written personally need to step back...take a breath.......and remember that a lot, if not most, is written in generalities.

we'd like to see people continue their behaviours unchecked and watch the forum change as ppl become less and less comfortable here because no one is allowed to speak up and say "hey, I have a problem, I'm uncomfortable and I want to discuss it" .......actually it could be what is happening now based on feedback from other members.

mirrors everyone. take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself if what you've written here in extension to others is what you'd offer to yourself/ves. most people would be shocked to see their own words offered to them when they were in crisis or triggered or any other highly emotional state.

we read our words and offer them in generalities based on our life experiences. we don't expect total agreement but we also do not expect the level of attack for expressing our opinions especially in a forum we helped build and foster with many others from its inception fall of '04.

Im DID myself. I can understand you wanting separate boards. there are websites that address the separateness of each type of memory piece. one such place is The Survivors Forum. It is run by a person who has this disorder. It is not a mental health site and not run by a psychiatrist like Doc John but there are separate boards for each age group of memory pieces.

Im not speacking for Doc John or anyone else that takes care of this site but I am making an educated guess here and that is in general the mental health field seeing Dissociative Identity Disorder as ONE person who just happens to have had thier memories separated and stored in the unconscious level. Things in the persons present life triggers the person into the feelings and memories that are stored in the unconscious level so that they react from the memories that are stored.

The biggest part of treatment is getting the client to understand that the memory pieces are a part of the person who used their dissociation skills to escape abuse.

being a professionally run site the site needs to keep with the togetherness theme.

So instead of having lots of separate message boards for each sepatate type of memory piece the one board addresses them all.

Now inside that one board the members that post there have made areas specifically for what they need. example the cave, the safe room and so on.

so I personally think we've got the best of both worlds here -

The unity concept that is being addressed in therapy by having only one board
and
the unique individual expressionism inside that unity with being able to read and participate in the individual rooms inside that unity.

I personally like the way this site is set up. I have been on many websites that address the separateness and Ive seen many of them go through many problems because the unity factor isn't being addressed. the members start branching out on their own either trying to take over the sites and trying to address the unity factor or when they reach this point in therapy the others do the equivelant of racism because the person no longer wants to play their separateness games or keep themselves at the beginning level of understanding of this disorder. here everyone is accepted no matter what level of healing they are at, or their beliefs and so on.

So I personally say keep the site the way it is. no one is battling for ownership of the site because they have outgrown the separateness idea and we have freedom of expressing and addressing the individuality at the same time. we have the best of both wolrds thanks to Doc John.

How and if we choose to use what Doc John has offered us is up to each member here.

Oh ZH, how I have laughed. Is this your ball and you would like it back now?

Myself,

I think you are right.

Lets stay together and cooperate

atg

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Oh ZH, how I have laughed. Is this your ball and you would like it back now?

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Ouch. Not nice. Not really in the supportive nature outlined in the guidelines below. We'd appreciate if you could try to put your answers into offers of support or requests for support. Thanks.

Community Guidelines

Inappropriate Content

This is, first and foremost, a self-help support community. That means if your message (post or PM) isn't about offering support to another person or asking for it, it's potentially not appropriate for our community. Specifically prohibited from our community:

* Flames or messages meant to intimidate or harass others

ZH,

Look at it like this. Imagine a person build a house for 100 people to live in and when its finished the others come along. The people who move in paint their walls pink and put down yellow carpets in their rooms. Imagine if the builder hates pink, and yellow carpets? What is he to do. Can the builder ask that the people change their walls, and their carpets. Not really, the builder just has to let go and keep the bit he has the way he wants it. Its part of being a community, and part of being with others. If no harm is being caused and the builder can still be how he wants to be then what s the problem.

Does the builder have more rights cos he was there from day one? Does the builder have more of a say cos it was their idea to build the house?

:

ok..... I started this thread and I do NOT want it removed.

I would appreciate it if everyone would respect my wishes to close the thread here and start another thread to continue the discussion.

Many thanks,
Fuzzy