Double booking my life

So frustrating lately. Sometimes I think I'm doing okay, staying present, etc. And then I get in trouble. And I don't even know what the heck happened.

So often lately, I seem to be making double plans. I make plans and think, this will be so fun or I'm just glad I'm getting something done that needed to be done (ie dr appts, movies, dinner, etc). And then I get in trouble because I didn't know that "I" had already made plans or appts or whatever (completely different unrelated plans) for the same day, through another part of me.

It leaves friends and family members feeling unimportant that I didn't remember the plans we made (even though I didn't remember making the plans with them and don't even know what they are talking about). It makes others feel that I don't care, etc.

It causes arguments because I get thrown back into the whole "they are tricking me" mode sometimes, denying that I double booked anything (because "I" didn't).

I often put my plans on a calendar, but even if the calendar is out, the other plans don't get written down. Sometimes I miss the plans completely and find out later that not only did I not participate in the plans made, I was off doing something else without telling anyone (specifically the person with whom the original plans were made).

Life is such a roller coaster ride sometimes. It makes me feel like a failure as a parent, as a friend. Even the ones in my life that know what's going on get hurt feelings. They know what happened, but they still feel unimportant. And that hurts my heart, too.

I think I'm working towards co-consciousness or healing or whatever it is I'm trying to head toward and then I realize that I obviously have so much more to do, if I've made any progress at all.

So frustrating.

(((Want)))

I'm sorry and I understand

I can relate very much to the thinking you’re doing great only to be thrown back by something you forgot to do or did but forgot you did it.

Thanks (((((((((((((Calista)))))))))))))) I'm so sorry you understand, though I'm thankful I'm not alone.

Thanks ((((((((((((Korin)))))))))) It's frustrating, isn't it.

Do you guys (or anyone) have any ways that you find helps you? I'm kind of at a loss other than to keep going and trying to to stay grounded, which apparently isn't working very well.

wanttoheal

I'm so sorry you're having a rough go of things.

With help, I've figured that when things get more "jumbled"- that's the time when I am most stressed.
Maybe things are more stressful than the usual stress for you presently??... perhaps looking into your current situations and seeing if some ways can come about to lessen your stress.... at least, that's what I've been discovering can help a bit with the "jumbles"

I know that feeling of being a failure...*sigh*.... it seems
to ex-acerbate all that is going on.

Please be kind to self I just know you are doing your best..... and that is what really really matters.

fins

just wanted to clarify something.....

just in case--- I meant no offense by referring to struggling as "jumbles"-- that's just what "I" call it -- what's going on with me-- I surely wasn't meaning you are jumbled
sorry if it came across like that

fins

wanttoheal,

Getting into trouble for things you didn't do.... Oh so familiar. When I was much younger, I was often angry at my mum because she told my dad 'on me', and I thought she was the one causing trouble because I didn't believe I had done anything wrong.

I had all the same issues with conflicting dates and appointments or agreeing to meet someone and then not turning up. This for me over the years resulted in cutting all social stuff down to a very manageable level. It meant being less social and more of a loner but it was all just so exhausting. The only answer I have in dealing with it is to simplify your life.

Keep a notebook and a calendar handy. It takes a bit of practise to get things written down. Asking the others to use it too helps. Might be a bit of a struggle to get their co-operation but I have been known to resorted to a bit of bribery and corruption to get things done my way.

I'm the oldest of five, we all have children and our children have children, It's so difficult keeping up with the social stuff. Thankfully my family just see me as quite and a bit of a loner and don't push me too much.

Guilt is a killer. The guilt I felt while struggling to bring up three kids... Where my kids were concerned, I was not afraid of all the **** that was going on on the inside. After one of my kids was almost in an accident, I screamed at the others on the inside to take better care of my children or I would kill myself. Drastic I know but it was really tough going back then. And that was long before I was diagnosed. The struggle to understand what was going on and get well was all for my kids. I owe them my life. If I hadn't had them, I wouldn't be here today.

Life was a roller coaster ride back then. Thankfully I love to read, I began to read every self-help book I could get my hands on. It's been a long hard road but I have a handle on it now. And I'm in control. So much so that there are times when I really think it's gone, finally faded away. Then something happens to stress me out and there it is. I don't think it will ever 'go away' but I do cope a whole lot better these days - most of the time.

Taking care of yourself, eating, sleeping, exercising helps you take control of things. Someone has to be in control and it might as well be you.

I also found things go easier when I negotiated and compromised and made requests rather than demands. There was less aggression and it's the aggression I think that's scares us the most. Acting like an older sister and giving lots of reassurance that you will take care of them now like they took care of you when you needed it the most helps too.

Thank you for responding ((((((((((((((((((((purple_fins))))))))))))))))))))))).

It's hard for me to tell is my stress level is higher, but daughter just said yesterday that things are more stressful than ever here. I don't know if it's because they are actually stressful or that living in the situation we live in has just worn us out to the point where we can't deal as well anymore.

We are living in a situation that will take a miracle to resolve...

No offense taken at all. It's a great word and fits for me, too. I have a lot of made-up words for what goes on for me as well. T even uses some of them now, lol.

Thank you for being here.

Thank you for sharing your experiences ((((((((((((((((((((((Korin))))))))))))))))))))

I don't have much memory of when I was a child, but I have felt that way as an adult for sure.

I had to do the same thing as far as cutting my social calender down. I'm not a very outgoing/social person really (though some part of me does socialize more than I do). I think that is also part of the problem. I don't often accept social engagements outside of with my daughter and a friend, but another part of me seems to enjoy socializing.

There are some things going on in my life that is making it hard for me to get downtime and alone time, which I desperately need (I need a lot of it to keep inside balanced) and I am wondering if that is a good portion of the problem.

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I will definitely try them.

(((((((( wantto )))))))))

I soooo understand and I know how frustrating it is. Thank you for sharing as it's good to hear someone else with the same problem. I have tried writing things down and the trouble is that different parts have different places to write things down. Keeping track of what is written where helps but doesn't always work out!

I think the important thing to do in all this is not to beat yourself up about it as that just seems to make things worse.

If you find some other ways to deal with double booking let me know!

is there a way of having a diary that all of your parts know about and your family too , if you make a plan with someone, that they write it or remind which ever part is present to write it in the diary, i suggest a diary as it is portable in a bag. is it something you could broach in a group meeting if you have them with all your parts listening? just thoughts not tried or tested!

((((((((((((((((((((Pegasus))))))))))))))))))))))))) It is nice not to be alone in stuff, though I'm sorry you experience this as well.

I try not to beat myself up, but I can only say, "I'm doing the best I can" so many times, ya know? When it's just my plans that get messed up, it's not so bad, but when it involves other people whose feelings get hurt, then it is more upsetting and I am less forgiving of myself.

I will shout for joy and make a huge post if I figure it out. I guess we just need to keep going forward ("Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming...").

Hi ((((((((((((yellowted)))))))))))))))) Thank you for responding.

My daughter does try to help me with it, but sometimes she doesn't know about the other plans. I like the idea of a calendar where everyone (outside and inside) can see and write on. Maybe that would help. I get nervous writing in a diary that my daughter (or anyone else) could read. Not that she would judge me, but stuff gets written down sometimes that I'd rather not. But perhaps a small calendar that I can try to keep with me that she has access to as well.

Thank you for your suggestion. I am going to try a form of it for sure.

hiii healie so nice to see you

i was just going to add that if you find there is a part in particular NOT using the calendar, perhaps you could do something to make the calendar more attractive to that part (eg glue in a picture you think they'd like, write in some colours they like, keep it in an attractive cloth pouch, etc). if there's something to draw that part to it, they may be more likely to use it.

take gentle care of you

(((((((((((((((WANTO))))))))))))))) I've been there, is so hard.
Getting be co-conscious is a big step , I am just starting on that, wish you get better.

Tc hun
genn

( ( ( wanttoheal ) ) )
I am sorry we have not been here to give you surport. Just want to send you safe thoughts and hope. It is so frustarting when parts are not able to work together Just know you are not alone in this. Hope those within find peace and acceptance of each other.

((((((((((((((((((Dinosaurs)))))))))))))))))))))))
That's a great idea. I will definitely try that. Thanks so much.

((((((((((((((((((((Genn))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thank you so much.

((((((((((((((((((((((anderson))))))))))))))))))))
Thank you so much.

Sorry for the delay in responding. Have been dealing with some family drama. Thank you all for your support.

(((Want))) My kids never knew about the DID and my husband was late to the game, so they just cha;lked it up to "Mom being Mom" Other then that, sticky notes were a life saver! They were everywhere!