how do people with multiple personalities know they have more than one personality?

When diagnoser told me ....I wanted to know what i do to make her diagnose me it wasnt until alot of reading and life experiences from the past and since dx, that i understood my headspaces and myselves that warranted that dx. Now I marvel at us tottally accept the past and present and try to make light of a totally serious mentally illness....If not Id be down trodden at every moment.

Great question!
I knew something was going on, here and there over the years, but not the whole deal. A therapist figured things out over many months. Then, with diagnosis, a lot of stuff from the past made sense. Stuff was happening I just took as normal. or had ignored it. All put together it was DID.

Sorry, this is so long...My husband had horrendous abuses throughout childhood and into adulthood. He has PTSD and now cluster migraines for the last few years but this fall he hasn't had the migraines, (yay!) just a fluttery tingling behind the eyes that usually announced the onset. Beginning about a week ago, instead of migraines he has been speaking the voices with full conversations, arguments, acts of abuse, crying, etc. and chronologically replaying his abuses from early childhood forward, all out loud while he is asleep - every night, then it all stopped and he slept peacefully for a few days. Then, a few nights ago I guess these voices were calling for Mom over and over and I was already asleep, but being a mother of 3 grown children, I must've replied, "Yes?" and now they want to talk to me every time my husband doses off at night, one after the other. I am really unsure what to do because they were crying and alone. I've been reassuring them that they are loved, every single one, and that we are all a family and this house is our home and they are safe. I didn't want them to think I was lying about being "Mom", so when they called me Mom, I said I am "New Mom" and they love it. They (no idea how many yet) each have such different voices and ages, and some can barely talk. I am amazed and honored that they trust me, but - 1) they want me to be their Mom, but I am not my husband's mother, 2) I am confused about whether I should be comforting them at all because they aren't a part of ME, but they want a hug, they are hungry, feel shame for having dirty diaper and want to be clean, you know, basic needs. 3) they seem to be very hungry and want to be comforted. 4) I don't want to lose the romantic part of my relationship with my husband because part of him wants me to mother his alters, but I do care about them, and it is all so sudden. I feel helpless about all of this and I know my husband isn't ready to deal with it right now. He's exhausted.
Please tell me if I am making big mistakes by talking to them. They actually greet me as soon as my husband falls asleep and if I don't reply they are so very sad. Also, I was so tired last night that I "tucked them in" by getting them to take peaceful breaths in and out together with me and they must've fallen asleep. I could hear the multiple range of voices breathing along with me and it was cool, but unsettling because I don't really know what all of this is. Note -this has all been verbal interaction, and while he's asleep so I don't know if they have ever actually come out before. If I reach over and try to hug my husband (to comfort the child inside) he gets agitated because I woke him up.

Wow, is he aware of any of this? I can see where this can get a little uncomfortable and awkward. Is he seeing a therapist?

I think, first off, we must stay honest and not claim to be a "new mom" because that can backfire on you. These are real insiders that feel and probably experienced trauma themselves. I'd explain to them that you are a best friend or wife of the body (?) and wish them the best and get out of that mother roll so nobody gets hurt. I know you didn't know what to do, but I think honesty is the best route to follow.

Have you a way to record what's been happening? This can be useful real soon like for proof or something to present to a T.

I hope things get worked out for you and him.

I don't know much about DID but I did read once that the alters are other facets of the same person rather than a totally different person.

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Hey ReMommy,

I have no idea what to suggest (other than for him to get a T and you to get some support!) Its sounds really hard on both of you. But I really love what you are doing for him and how much you care - Thats so lovely. He's very lucky!

REmommy, you married him so vows state for better or worse. If he wants you involved on that level you both should be in a therapist office. There should be some insiders that have that job already. His first therapist should of kinda been that for him, although once he got up on his research he would have picked up on what was happening. At least I did, because I read of lot of research papers and stuff. I would have quickly got that part in and the only thing they could do was talk through. Since you are his wife I would try to do that under the guidance of a therapist, but the vows say for better or worse.

Absolutely! I want to be someone he can lean on, count on and trust. We need to get a therapist for him. I don't think he's ever gone to one. The problem is that he doesn't know there is a problem and I can't find the words to tell him. I really feel alone and worried for us.

Thank you all for the candid replies. We are working on a diagnosis for my daughter and the insight to all of this is fascinating. She is also on the autism spectrum (high functioning) so figuring out all of this is even more difficult.

Hello. For many years I was unaware that I was not always the person out and living my life. There were a few times when someone told me I had said or done something I knew I hadnt and looking back now I see that might have been taken as a clue that something was going on with me, but I had also been misdiagnosed and given drugs during that time so my awareness and basic ability to even see straight were compromised.

When I went off the drugs I was taking I woke up a new person. One day I opened my eyes and saw everything around me through a different set of eyes. I had no memory of ever being there before and no past behind me. Then after that for years, the only times I was aware I was not in one peice were the times when I was completely dissociated and without a function/personality being there and working for me. When soemthing triggered a function to step out I started all over again living in that particular time and place-- and without any memory or awareness of being anyone else beofre that. My life was lived in disconnected peices of time by various perosnality functions-- which in the end of my therapy were all integrated into one strong identity.

Losing time, not being able to find my clothes, finding stuff that wasnt mine were hints that soemthing wasnt right with me and how I was living. It was in fact, years before I came face to face with the fact that different people knew me --as different people! I have to say it was a relief when I got a name for this --DID-- because for me it gave me a sense that it was real and could be fixed. This strangely enough gave me a greater sense of stability. There were reasons why I was the say I was. There was a method to my madness! My brain had provided me with a defense mechanism that was pretty incredible.

It was all the missing time that was the most significant thing. Years were missing. I had very few memories of childhood. I remembered the names of every teacher I ever had and even where I sat in their classes but nothing when it came to time spent at home or playing with my sister. Zip. It was all an empty slate when it came to life in my parent's house.

What I did know about and was aware of was that I had been sexually abused as a little kid and that no one ever protected or defended me. As a kid I felt abandoned and betrayed, helpless against victimization. But that seemed far off and separate from the rest of my life. IT was something I knew and took for fact but never really felt or worked through. And that abuse was only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Photographs also have ended up giving me a better overall view of how differently I appeared through the years. Hair color, even wigs. the say I dressed , even my age reflected the reality that I was not living life as one fixed self identifying self aware person.
I hope this helps you to understand.

I knew that I had different moods depending on the situation. I knew that I had steady conversation in my head about what to do and not do. I used to be comfortable with the saying " me, myself and I" but I never thought for one minute that I was different from everyone else. I thought everyone thought in the same way as me just to different degrees. It wasn't until I was in my late twenties that I started to notice starkly odd events like being able to see myself while doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing, seeing flat people, having endless conflicting conversations in my head. Like a group discussing an issue endlessly and I wasn't able to stop. I had some ocd issues that would come and go but were disruptive to my daily life and sense of self. I had occasionally looked into possible mental conditions that could account for my state but never found one that fit. And than a friend described me seeing myself as me having "dissociated". I had never heard the term before. I was in my thirties. I googled it and started reading. So much of me was in there it was both a relief and a concern. I did nothing at first. Time passed and I started having panic attacks with no apparent trigger. I sought out a friend. He was helpful and enabled me to reach out for help. I decided to seek out a psychologist who was familiar with DID. I didn't want to suggest it, I wanted to be diagnosed so I never mentioned my suspicion. Oddly enough at my first session she saw one of us and that caused a lot of anxiety for us. Even once I was diagnosed it took at least a year before I could fully grasp what that meant for us. And that that diagnosis was a beginning of getting help. I was in my forties by than. I am in my fifties now, I embrace the diagnosis because it makes me feel sane. And I am only now at a point where I think my system can start moving toward each other. Maybe be able to embrace each other and understand we all suffered, we all protected and we all survived. But more importantly that we are no longer in that danger. It doesn't exist in our life now just in the parts in our system.

I'd say due to years of therapy I've been able to recognize this. I now have the "co-conscious" thing most of the time. There are times, even years into therapy, that I don't have this awareness though. Last time I was in the hospital I never mentioned to the shrink that I had DID because I seriously forgot I had it. My depressed child side isn't always aware that I have this disorder.