[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

So my t diagnosed me years back with DID. All the signs are there it's just hard to believe as many can understand on here.

Well my first primary care doctor said it was migraines. I was experiencing depersonalization at the time, I was watching myself from out side of my body. CRAZY! But she says this was a warning sign of a migraine. Even after she was made aware of my DID dx, she says nope, it's migraines.

Welll fastforward till 3 years ago and a pdoc tells me, while my t is working on inner communication with my alters, my pdoc is saying it's not DID it's seizures instead. This made things confusing when I really did have a seizure back in August, but the seizure was unrelated to the DID says the new doctor. Now the current GP is saying it's migraines and gave me a migraine prescription... Am I explaining things to my doctors wrong or do others have a difficult time with their doctors on this subject?

It's frustrating when all you have is a GP that doesn't believe you

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

All of my t's and most of the pdocs I've had could tell that I had some form of DD, and nearly all of my t's have come to the DID conclusion. Only one said it could have been another dissociative disorder, but they all agreed it was dissociation and all agreed it was a dd... Just wanted to clear that up, more than one t has dx'd me DID I just have a hard time believing it especially with these kind of doctors...

[likewater]

Im in er with migraineright now. Feel like im gonna die

[Lexi232]

Sorry to hear that.
we have had sezuires all of our life, just localized ones. then lately we've been having bad once. not too often do we get migranes but we do get headaches and very sleepy when we been doing more than just exisiting such as talking or trying to help eachother.
I would def try to give the med a try. even if its just to take care of the symptom (we take excedrin migrane and it helps). but I would definantly also get a second opinnon on both sides of the health realms.
Because if this stuff is caused by physical health, it needs to be tended by that, but if it's caused by mental health, it needs to be taken care by the mental health system...
I do know a lot of health issues can cause mental issues. but once the health issue is taken care, so is the mental issue.
The fact you feel like you aren't being heard, or listened to, and taken seriously, if it were happening to me, I would find someone else to listen. and atleast test just to reassure your mind, and put you at ease, even if they are right. If they listen and validate you, and do the approriate tests. and find out it's more than just migranes or sezuires then atleast they did their job! Their job is to help you! and it's to make sure they have the right diagnose on you! They work for you! you pay them! (even if you have insurance, you still pay them, if you dont go to them they dont get paid for you).
I would suggest the IDEAL situation would be to go see a mirgraine specialist, and see a DID pdoc specialtis and see what both say,
sezuries and migranes are a ... hard thing to figure out what the cause is from.. because it could be due to your mental health, or your physical health, and it's diffficult to figure it out, but they do in most instances... sometimes its due to both. or due to certain meds....

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Thank you for both replies. I'm sorry you are in the ER or were in the ER for a migraine I know how horrible they can be. And the tests they do just make it that much worse. I hope you are feeling better today!

I wish I could change doctors but right now my work is giving me the run around with insurance and I only make $8 an hour, I have a child so I can't afford doctors as of yet or insurance for myself yet. Thankfully she has insurance. I found a doctor that works with a christian group to see after the seizure. I had to wait 3 months after the seizure before I could even get in to see him.

I did pay out of my pocket to see a neurologist. They aren't too cheap. $160.00 just for him to deny me a CT scan on my head saying he didn't want to break the bank on it. He told me nothing, did nothing for me. Just took my money and sent me on my way, didn't even tell me what to do in case it happened again. Nor did the ER, they all just sent me on my way but of course they did contact the DMV to have my license suspended for 3 years because of the seizure (which I understand) but wouldn't do any tests at all. The new doctor I can only get in to see once every 3 months and he's nice... But I could tell he was judging me from the get go. And he wouldn't listen to what I said about anything. I told him about all of the dx's of schizophrenia and DID bipolar and PTSD anxiety yada yada yada. He told me to cut down on caffeine which I did. I'm down to one soda in the mornings and that's it whereas before it was about 8 bottles a day. It helped a little but not much... The anxiety is still terrible and I'm finding out I'm losing more time than I thought.

I logged into chat and had people kept talking to me as if I were on there the day before, people I have never spoken with. This kind of thing keeps happening. People are coming up to me acting as if we are close friends... But I don't really have friends I have a difficult time wanting to make friends... But somehow I'm a social butterfly or something lately without knowing it becoming great friends with all kinds of people I don't know... That doesn't sound like a migraine... But I'm no doctor.

I've only had one confirmed seizure and it was a bad one, but considering the circumstances of the evening, it's not too surprising I had a seizure to begin with. My fear of having another one is getting less and less extreme which is helping the anxiety but still not stopping it.

I just find it hard to believe it's all migraine induced, although it is all in your head as is a migraine so I could be wrong. I just really really really do not like taking meds. My dad is a crack head who started on meds and is the reason for my DID dx (the first of the blackouts). I was taking 32 pills a day when I was 15 for my mental health. I was a zombie. I don't want that.

I don't like medicine. I refused to even take Tylenol when I was pregnant with my daughter. The chemicals give me a very uncomfortable nervous feeling and I always get panicky when I take meds. Even when I take my Valium for the first 20 minutes until it starts working I'm battling a panic attack just from taking the valium. And that's when I take 1/2 of a 5mg. My anxiety with meds mixed with my anxiety about my heart and blood pressure makes taking any meds for your heart very difficult to me. But you're right he's a doctor I should try it... Ugh but I really don't want those chemicals poisoning my body! If I could just get a 5mg valium to take 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at night and a low dose sleeping med I think it would really clear things up.

But you can't go to a doctor asking for things like that or they will think you're a junkie. My dad is a crack head, I saw what junkies do to families and stay far far from it. I have very good self control and do not allow myself to become addicted to anything, even when they were giving me 6 lortabs a day for my back for about a year, I would only take one every 4 or 5 days for my back, typically I wait through the pain. I never take migraine meds, messing with my brain is another fear.

I go on about 5 hours of sleep a night and wake up at 5am every morning. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. I wake up all night long. I think this really contributes to the anxiety but I can't help waking up so much. I've tried all the techniques to better sleep and they don't work. Add that with blackouts and voila anxiety non stop. I really think that's the major issue and the migraines are caused from the blackouts as many doctors have told me before, not the other way around.

The doctor is free though, I don't have to pay and I really can't afford to pay. If he even considered my previous diagnosis from other doctors, I would feel much better but he completely disregarded all of my mental diagnosis and said it's caused by migraines. I've been struggling and fighting my whole life with these "disorders" I just had my boyfriend last night search the entire apartment for some noise I heard sounding like boiling water that he couldn't hear at all. This is a every day thing for me, this of some sorts. I say this as I continuously look over my shoulder hearing people whispering sucking their teeth walking etc and no one is behind me. But this I guess is caused by migraines as well? Ask my doctor and I'm sure he'll find a way.

It's pretty frustrating. I don't care what label they put on it really, but I do care what meds they give me to treat the problem. I'm a very anxious person as it is. Especially in relation to medication. When I already have low blood pressure and an irregular heart beat, it seems like putting me on medication to lower my blood pressure when it already averages rather low isn't the best idea. But who knows, it's also used to help irregular heart beats and help panic attacks, but what happens if my blood pressure gets too low when it's already low to begin with? I smoke cigarttes, it would take me 1/2 a pack of cigarettes back to back, a ton of stress and running a mile to get my blood pressure up to the normal range, I don't need it lowered... But I will try...

I don't think I told him about my low blood pressure, it was my first appointment with him and there were so many other things to tell him I guess it slipped my mind, I wish it hadn't now. I left out a lot in that appointment but he was running behind schedule as it was, it was my first appointment and he didn't seem to want to be there during the apointment so... Yeah... Not having medical sucks.... I need a t... I had one who specialized in DID once, I wish I wouldn't have taken it for granted at the time...

[likewater]

(((PFM))) I agree you need a specialist. Did is a form od dissociation. You could be getting migraines as a symptom when you
dissociate. Leaving your body is dissociating so is changing identity. Really doesnt seem all that complicated to me, but i dont make the big bucks im just a fellow mental patient. Get a specialist who specializes in trauma. Wish you lived in colorado spgs. Know a good one here. Take care.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

My old T who specialized in DID was when I lived in Colorado Springs lol She was pretty good

[likewater]

Oh. :-) i guess they are good here.maybe it' s the mountains. Anyway, i was told by my dr that certain meds only relieve migraines. Like imitrex. All my symptoms like the aura, dizziness, throwing up, light sensitivity are classic migraine. And because migraine medicines relieve them, think i have them, but i also know they are related to voices in my head and dissociating, but really havent talked to new T about. Because of insurance lost my awesome old T. Like my new T just hard to trust someone different.

[PurpleFlyingMonkeys]

Got triggered last night... Was a rough night and am feeling the lingering winds this morning from it. Didn't black out, didn't do much of anything. Just laid there motionless for the most part. Staring... Floating... Heard the popping and the static and the ringing a lot last night. Almost every time I was triggered last night my head would fill with pressure and I would start to hear these things but they were so quiet at first I could barely hear. Then they gota little louder. I tried to focus. Most of the time I float away and don't listen to the noise. I tried to listen last night and it didn't work. The noise stopped almost instantly when I noticed it and tried to listen. It doesn't always do that but for some reason did last night. I don't know if it's from the DID. It keeps happening. Last night wasn't easy. Wasn't easy to put on a "happy face" when you're not even with it but I made it through without any huge scene, thankfully. Most of the time it ends in a scene... What's wrong with me? This can't be all because of migraines? Maybe it is, maybe it's PTSD and migraines? Maybe it's DID and migraines? Maybe it's schizophrenia and migraines? Mania and migraines? They all have such common symptoms and I've been labeled every one... I don't want a label, I just want to know what is happening to me...

[likewater]

Im so sorry. Migraines are horrible. Ive been going to the er for relief. You really need a good T or pdoc if you want a diagnosis. All i can tell you is: you will be ok, and find a good T asap. Sending you hugs if thats ok.

[Claritytoo]

Originally Posted by PurpleFlyingMonkeys

Got triggered last night... Was a rough night and am feeling the lingering winds this morning from it. Didn't black out, didn't do much of anything. Just laid there motionless for the most part. Staring... Floating... Heard the popping and the static and the ringing a lot last night. Almost every time I was triggered last night my head would fill with pressure and I would start to hear these things but they were so quiet at first I could barely hear. Then they gota little louder. I tried to focus. Most of the time I float away and don't listen to the noise. I tried to listen last night and it didn't work. The noise stopped almost instantly when I noticed it and tried to listen. It doesn't always do that but for some reason did last night. I don't know if it's from the DID. It keeps happening. Last night wasn't easy. Wasn't easy to put on a "happy face" when you're not even with it but I made it through without any huge scene, thankfully. Most of the time it ends in a scene... What's wrong with me? This can't be all because of migraines? Maybe it is, maybe it's PTSD and migraines? Maybe it's DID and migraines? Maybe it's schizophrenia and migraines? Mania and migraines? They all have such common symptoms and I've been labeled every one... I don't want a label, I just want to know what is happening to me...

For the last two night I have been triggered by something but I am not sure what. The other night was the worst I got stuck in a loop of thought. I could not get out of. I was unable to get back. It was causing me a great amount of emotional and physical pain. I remembered my therapist taught me some grounding techniques. I found some sour tasting cough drops and ate one. Almost immediately I could feel my my head cleared. Than I felt real. I was in the kitchen. It worked. I wasn't able to remember grounding while I was in the loop but once my thoughts slowed I began trying to get myself back. That is when I remembered the grounding technique. In a way I know I will have to experience some of the emotional issues related to my trauma. But it helps me to know that I can help myself get back at some point.

[Miracle1986]

We have chronic migraines too. Our friend jokes "you have a migraine every day that ends with D-A-Y!" It's funny, but it's also our reality and it S-U-C-K-S!!!!

[darkpurplesecrets]

((((Purpleflyingmonkeys))))

I am sorry you are struggling and feeling so triggered. I can understand that feeling and want you to know you are not alone. I get migraines sometimes and I know how they feel. Many of my migraines though are not medically related. I know that when I am in the throws of memories hitting or someone within is pushing hard I often get a migraine that no med can touch. I often grab my head as it hurts so much.

Whenever I get back into the denial stage and want it all to go away I get another headache that feels like a migraine but it is the others letting me know they are there and it brings me back to the place to stop the denial, not until I do does the headache stop.

At times I feel this push around my eyes when I am facing a terrifying memory or when fear from myself and within is so high. If I am trying to talk about something so painful and it is something we were never to talk about, I often get a headache that feels like a migraine. Trust is a big issue still even though we have those we trust, when it comes to talking about something deep it often feels and presents itself as a headache or migraine symptoms that nothing can stop.

I often now have one within the seems to put a vice feeling around my head and it hurts as a migraine. There is nothing I can do when this happens but stop talking. If I am talking about something or even being told something this one does not want me to hear it feels the vice tightens until I stop talking or can no longer hear anything being said. It can be seen because often my eyes change and I look far away and nothing is getting through.

Each person is different though so my experiences may or may not be like anyone elses. I just know that sometimes what seems like a migraine can be anything but one. I do have migraine meds as I have and do get them. If it feels like a real migraine (as sometimes I can tell) I can take the med and lay down for a while and it will go away. I have had to go to the ER before as the migraines can get really bad and the med does not stop it. There are times though that I cannot tell and I try not to just take meds if I do not have to.

Grounding is good though I will admit often that is hard to do when the headaches hit, especially the vice one. I find that stopping talking and turning off is the best to stop that. It is hard especially when it is something that needs to be said or heard, but the pain is too much that I automatically go there.

I hope that you can get a t soon and that they will be able to help you. It does cause a lot of anxiety and so often others do not understand and explaining is just not possible. I do hear you there. Others often cannot get it and being told it's nothing or I'm sorry feels invalidating or that they do not care. Maybe they really do not get it but that does not take away how I feel or what is taking place.

I am sorry you are not being heard or listened to. I hear you and I do understand the best I can. Keep looking for a doctor and reaching out. You are not alone. We are listening and we care. Sending you gentle hugs and loving thoughts. If okay. Always.

dps