My Abuser Just Called Me

<font color="red"> My abuser called me. I hadn't heard his voice in five years, I think. And he called like nothing happened, all those many years.

Ann is so very upset and running and won't sit still and scared and in a panic.

Annabelle - ??????

I don't know what he wanted because I can't remember. His voice was the same. But I can't remember what was said.Or why he called. OH my God.

The whole system is freaked out and scared and confused and

HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!

</font>

((((((((((((safe BIG hug))))))))) Glad you have us here at PC!!

It's ok now... it was "just" a phone call..... nothing bad is happening right now... you are all ok....

I'm sorry this happened.... but try and distract yourself and your system with something you usually enjoy... treats or such.... OK?

It's really hard. I don't know why he called. Stupid father. He hasn't called in four years. Why did he call tonight?

Things have been all hurricaine like and I'm trying to hold it together and it's just so hard and then he calls. When is this going to get better?

I wish I had someone to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay. But I don't think that would even help.

I want to believe your words, Sky. I really do.

I don't think I can do this. It's too much.

Oooohhhh! ((((((((((((((((((((safe hug)))))))))))))))))))))))

Can you hold an impromptu group meeting and have an adult let everyone know that you really are safe? I have done this before and it helped. I also went around and showed the littles that the house is locked up safely, that we have the emergency phone numbers written down, and that, most importantly, there are quite a few grown-ups in the body who are capable of keeping everyone in the body safe, either by standing up for us or by calling for help.

You are strong and made it through so much. I know that contact with the father must be really shattering when you weren't expecting it. Do you have caller id? If so, use it to avoid another phone call. You can be in control of the contact, at least to some degree. See if your therapist is willing to be the contact person for the father from now on so that any message that needs to get to you can come through the T.

For tonight, repeat calming messages "I'm safe now, I'm an adult now, I'm in control now", remember to breathe and try to practice good self-care. Eat something healthy to nourish your body. Read a favorite book again. Go watch a feel good, non-triggering movie. Wrap up in a soft blanket and drink some warm tea or decaf coffee or hot chocolate. Turn on every light in the house if that makes you feel better. Keep talking to friends here at PC. What else can we do to help?

Elizabeth

Ok, rainbowzz, do you have a part that can do this for you? Till things settle down. you might need to not be in it all...

(((((((((((((((SongbirdandDaisy)))))))))))) I am so sorry that he called. I hope things are getting a little better for you. I wish there was more I could do but I am here for you.

(((((((((((( songbird&daisy ))))))))))))))

My heart jumped and I felt fear just reading this. I'm so sorry.

I went through this about 6 years ago. It was horrible. I've only spoken to him the once in 15 or 16 years. There was another time where he entered the apartment that I was in and I don't know exactly how, but he never knew I was there till I was gone. Of course, I don't remember.

I'm just so sorry. I'm sure you can expect an "anything goes" right now. I'm sure much of you has been triggered, angered, upset, frightened, or any other emotion. Please stay close to your t. Have you called him/her? If not, it's probably a good idea.

Reach out to those in your world that are safe and understand how upsetting that was.

When it happened here, I know that I had to keep my world as safe as possible to aid in the settling and safety that was needed. It was one time when I willingly ok'ed myself to stay home, etc. I would go through the house daily showing all of myself that the doors were safe and locked, the phone worked, and other "proof" of today's safety (i.e. I'm big now, i can call the police). In doing that it spoke to all of me. I had to do it repetitively, though.

We're here. Keep posting when you can.

KD

<font color="purple"> Elizabeth, you have some really great ideas here. I've been in a fog for a day or two and just found my way back to PC. I like the idea of having messages go through my T. I will talk to T about that. I don't have caller ID, maybe I should.

I keep forgetting to repeat the calming messages. Maybe if I write them down along with the phone numbers or on the back of that sheet, I will see them and use them.

My system is still trying to get organized. Individually, they know me but don't know each other. It's still being explored. I've heard of "group meetings" before and it's something we are working on in T.

Thank you for the wonderful suggestions. I'm printing out this post if that's okay, so I can use it in my "guide book".

I'm more stable today. I see T and T has e-mailed and called to help me through this. I have to remember to come here as well. It's hard to remember everything, but I'm trying.

Thank you so much, Elizabeth.

Anne </font>

Sky,

The system kind of does what it wants to do. We're learning in T about each other, well they don't know about each other, they think it's just me and them - one at a time.

The Protector comes out when I'm not safe, so that's good. The rest I'm still trying to figure out.

Thank you for the help. I see T tonight and T called and that helped. I forget to come back to PC when everything is all higgelty-piggelty.

Anne

Hi Kitty,

I will try and talk to myself about being big and having new tools and new understanding and can use the phone, things like that. I keep forgetting to do that. Thank you for the reminder.

I have to remember to come here too. It's better today cause I just woke up. Once everyone wakes up, it gets confusing again because they don't know / talk to each other, only to me and it's a barrage.

Anne

ok , so kick his /her *** to he door!
ust zizzy talkin..

I'm glad things are calming down and you see your T tonight. I hope The Protector told your father a few choice things like not to bother calling again.

(((((((((((((( Anne ))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry that happened.

Write your "I am safe" messages and tape them to the bathroom mirror. Tape them to your desk or the side of your monitor. Tape them on the fridge.

Also, can you get a slide chain bolt? Make sure you lock it whenever you are in the house and go often and look at it. Touch it and reassure yourself that no one can get in. Also if you can have a dead bolt that would be good.

Hugs,

Jan

Ziggymuzik and Perna

Hello: My youngster asked my T to "kick his Butt". The bad man still has power over us, but we are working on taking that power away.

I guess until then, The Protector talks to him and shields us from the words. But the bad man's voice is like nails across a chalkboard.

Nice to meet both of you ~ Anne

Miss Jan

<font color="#008800"> You remind me of fresh flowers ~ always pretty and smell nice. You have very kind words, always. Thank you.

I like all of your suggestions and I am going to use them. My H is always reassuring me that my father will never hurt me again. It seems kind of silly that an adult would be afraid of her father. I guess it's not an adult, though, is it. It's all the smaller ones that make the adult scared. Oh, an insight! </font> <font color="#008800">I just keep learning more and more every day!

How exciting!

Hugs,
Anne </font>

TUNIA

<font color="red"> My lovely Tunia! Where did your puffy cheeks go? They make me smile! </font>

Hi Fuzzy!

<font color="#000088"> I don't know why, but I'm shielded today and I'm not going to argue with it. The repreive is GRAND. GRAND I SAY!

Anne </font>

))))))) ) ))songbirdanddaisy ((((((( ( (( ( caller ID, I like that idea.

(((((((((((((SongBirdandDaisy)))))))))))
I'm so sorry, I hope things are calming down for you now. Everyone has great ideas. I just wanted to let you know I care. We are still in contact with some people. It causes a lot of problems... I hope you are able to find some resolution. Take care.

hi bunny and wantoheal,

it's just ann. I'm scared and sad and lonely. I know my dad's stupid spirit will find me.

I have to have an operation an I'm scared on monday. i found out today and got all confused and scared an

ann

(((((((((((((((Ann))))))))))))))) I am so sorry that everything is so overwhelming. Gentle hugs.

Fluffy White Bear

<font color="#008800"> you always make me feel ~ warm and cozy </font>

Just ann

Hi Ann,
I'm so sorry things are so hard right now.

Good luck with the operation. I bet those doctors have done that operation many many times and they know exactly how to do it. I think you will be okay but I understand so much the fear that goes with it. Maybe take a stuffed animal to have with you. They can remove it if necessary after you are asleep and put it back so it will be there when you wake up. We're major big on stuffed animals here. They solve everything. lol

Thinking of you SongbirdAndDaisy and wishing you the best.