Breaking into parts....after intergration

i am breaking into parts again.....i can feel it happening...i can hear the different thoughts going on ...again. i had everything put together nice and neat.,.,after eight year of therapy....then comes the headaches....which I thought was because of the divorce that is going on .....and the college classes that I am taking...and the fact that I am the one taking care of my 80 year old mother....and that I have no money....living on financial aid...and that I am 45 and feeling like I "should" be better off by now.......but today I took my meds that i have been givin for the heachaes.,....it did not help.....it stayed.....and then I realized.,....here i go again.....i am on this path once again.....DID......i think it probably never goes away....now i just need to learn to exsist with it......which is not bad......i just am sort of shocked once again that this is going on...........sigh
tobey

Sometimes alot of stress and anxiety will be trigger enough to fall back to "familiar" ways of coping. For me as long as I'm not losing time and stay co-concious it's not so scary.
Sometimes when I think it's all together, stress will bring on a "new" insider---
maybe that's what's going on for you???
Do you have a T and what does T say about all this?

White iris - thanks for your reply. I think you are probably right about the "new" insider ...I feel like its developing or something. I have never used that terminology to describe it but thats what it feels like. And I can totally agree on the falling back on whats "familiar" too. I guess I just needed to realize that this is a life situation for me. I am not against being co-concious at all...the losing time really scares me it always did before too but I would think it probablyscares most of us with this. I have talked with my T about this. Infact one time my "system" actually sent a piece of paper with a drawing of the system. THis happened about two months ago. I was pretty surprised about it because I had no memory of sending it. My T doe snot have experience with DID clients....of course he has studied in his masters degree but never has met someone with DID. Other than that he is an excellent T. and going there is costing me nothing....which is great. He did tell me that if things started going on that he would study up on it...or bring someone else in to get involved. Sigh.......I think he needs to start getting his books to read! 8-)

T

I think that your T best start reading!!! Realize too, that there are different approaches to working with DID. My T and I are working with individual insiders, hearing their stories and working toward communication and cooperation among us so we can work as a whole though integration is NOT on the plate right now. Becoming aware is.

You have to do some reading too and know what approach works best for your system and for you.

WE have found "Got Parts?" by ATW helpful. Also "Amongst Ourselves" by Alderman and Marshall and DID Sourcebook by Haddock. There are many reasorses out there. Read with caution and with a grain of salt.

My T has some experience with DID and with the last couple of crisis I've been through, she has really "gotten out the books"
Keep on keeping on
w_i

So sorry this is happening to you.

My T. says she doesn't think this will happen with me ( phew and thank god) she said she doesn't have any DID clients that have achieved total integration and then dis - integrated again but has had DID clients that have reached what they thought was total integration but a few years later a new younger alter appears. not new as in just newly created but new as in that one was burried so deep under the others that it took a while for that alter to reach the surface. My T specializes and sees only DID clients, so I trust her judgement and what she says for me.

I would tend to agree with you T. I think whats happened is alters that were so deep I didn't even know they were there. I was thinking it was all done. I do have one though that has seemed to come back because he (alter) is up to some old actions that Ihad to deal with before.

Tobey

Thanks and I agree with her too even if I didn't trust her it does sound right having things surface in layers amd being burried so deep it takes time for it to reach the surface.