[cheshiregrins]

Originally Posted by lucidity11

I have started riding my bike again, it seems to help with my anxiety and maybe even feelings of depression. Maybe some type of exercise can help.

I'm a runner- exercise does help.

Super depressed though

I am such a complete freak.

I hate being me.

I'm good at nothing. Good for nothing.

Another day crying into my keyboard at work

Originally Posted by CassyO

I am such a complete freak.

I hate being me.

I'm good at nothing. Good for nothing.

Another day crying into my keyboard at work

((((hugs)))))

i have to agree with you here.. wednesday, and i've done nothing with my week- i've not written in my journal once, played my trivia challenge, so i ordered another lot of groceries- mostly consisting of chocolates, potato chips and candy (woohoo i'm so great with my eating!)

every night this week's been a rough one, i think the only good to come out this week is the fact that we got a little bit of rain today. making the most of the cool air.. tomorrow we're meant to be going back to the hot weather

Urrrrrrrggggggh it's 9:30am, and I've already been awake six hours, and had a body memory of doom with vomi- flashbacks galore. Nothing like starting the day on a tired and dehydrated note. Oh well, at least the moroseness of yesterday seems to have dissipated

no sleep.

"they" are being loud today

it is hot

had to send a dvd back because they sent me it in german

no idea what day of the week it is (convinced it's saturday though)

my good (ish) week continues

Work sucks but pays well, no, the people suck and I love the work. Everyone thinks I'm queer/gay.

It only took a few times for Robyn (most of the females outer preferred name, so we are Robyn at night and Robert for us guys by day) to be present at work.

We come across as gender fluid and airheaded when they present, but the singletons just call it gay.

They love my work because I keep getting more responsibilities and more hours because I'm great at everything job wise because that's what I do.

Anyways, they avoid me, won't talk to me, and have maybe a person or two tolerable as we all work side by side.

Thats all, just a gripe because basically I just do my job, but in some small way it does bother me when I'm ignored. Heck, my boss won't look me in the eye to talk to me. Most won't. I'd hate to quit this job but can't stand this either.

This what happens when I work with others, but now I have no choice. Most jobs last about a year. I'm struggling to make 6.

[lucidity11]

This is going to sound strange my son has been hospitalized due to manic behavior. I hope he will get the right diagnosis and medication. Tonight I will sleep well knowing he is safe.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by lucidity11

This is going to sound strange my son has been hospitalized due to manic behavior. I hope he will get the right diagnosis and medication. Tonight I will sleep well knowing he is safe.

I pray for wisdom for the medical staff attending him. I pray for peace over your son and for you!!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

started a new book yesterday.

new thriller

actually kind of boring but gives me something to do through the night i suppose

[Gr3tta]

I fired my T of almost 2 years on Wed. Hope it was the right decision.

It's like there's a character from 'Friends' and a character from Ian Banks' 'Complicity' fighting it out in there.

I need wine.

Me and the Others are alcoholic. Duh.

[lucidity11]

I am trying to help my son but I am exhausted. It has been many years. I have been thinking I can't do this anymore. but I think if it is my son i should stay and help him for as long as he needs me. But i am too tired. maybe just for now.

lots going on surrounding our names.

do we continue to go by the name, "system atlantis", or do we go by something else?

sounds weird.. some of us want to legally change our name to " atlantis", because when we're spoken too, it's hard to really know who is being spoken to (and we're not quite sure who the host is meant to be at the moment). but we can't change our name to atlantis.. it's not even a proper name. it's our system name, but not our proper name- we want something that can relate to anyone, and not be embarrassed if we're called it

yeah... i know. but that's the current situation

[Lost_in_the_woods]

I gots ows and yucks and sicks.the bigs peeples have sads and mads and yells. I haves to stays heres takes csres of the baybes i donts likes this. Nots mys job.

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

lots going on surrounding our names.

do we continue to go by the name, "system atlantis", or do we go by something else?

sounds weird.. some of us want to legally change our name to " atlantis", because when we're spoken too, it's hard to really know who is being spoken to (and we're not quite sure who the host is meant to be at the moment). but we can't change our name to atlantis.. it's not even a proper name. it's our system name, but not our proper name- we want something that can relate to anyone, and not be embarrassed if we're called it

yeah... i know. but that's the current situation

Its not weird, I am not too interested in names, but some times I get really annoyed when someone refers to me with a specific gender. It's difficult to describe the feeling. It's like cold water in the face. A shock to our system. So I can understand why your system wants to be known by one name that includes everyone.

Originally Posted by lucidity11

Its not weird, I am not too interested in names, but some times I get really annoyed when someone refers to me with a specific gender. It's difficult to describe the feeling. It's like cold water in the face. A shock to our system. So I can understand why your system wants to be known by one name that includes everyone.

thankfully we are all females (so we don't have the gender issue), our issue is more.. we don't know who the host currently is, and when people speak to us- they never know who they are going to speak too.

so calling us by our system name, "atlantis", it works for all of us.. that way we all feel safe

had an okay day today- we even remembered what day it was (bonus)

don't think we switched much (at all)

every hour seems to be accounted for

[cheshiregrins]

Starting to come back into the world now. Went to a work training session today, and then went to work just to check the emails I've missed from being away= 347! Officially going back to work on Saturday. I'm still unstable and can't function all too well, but better than before.

[lucidity11]

visited my son in the hospital. He looked like my son again. I hope he can come home on Friday.

[IB splitting]

So, lost my job I've had for the last 14 years. I don't speak Spanish so there you go. The home I've been in for the last 16 years is being foreclosed on. We have nowhere to go. My youngest son lives with us and he has MS and in a wheelchair and we made this place handicap accessible. My therapist retired so we have to find a new one. I'm just don't think very well right now!!! So other than that I think I'm a perfectly normal alien.....

[lucidity11]

Originally Posted by IB splitting

So, lost my job I've had for the last 14 years. I don't speak Spanish so there you go. The home I've been in for the last 16 years is being foreclosed on. We have nowhere to go. My youngest son lives with us and he has MS and in a wheelchair and we made this place handicap accessible. My therapist retired so we have to find a new one. I'm just don't think very well right now!!! So other than that I think I'm a perfectly normal alien.....

There are a lot of support for people with MS. Maybe you can contact one of those support groups and see if they can network local services for you. Also you may be eligible for assistance from your local section 8. You have a lot of on your plate but I think there are services available to help you. I hope all works out.

[lucidity11]

Brought my son home. Seeing him at home and with a peaceful mind is everything I could ever want. I talked to home about not drinking, taking meds and going to his after care. I hope he can begin to gain more insight from taking this medication. All is well

[lucidity11]

Went for a long bike ride after coming home from dropping off my son at home. It felt good and exercise always helps with anxiety. Now this morning I woke up ok until my sister called to go garage saling. I just got hit with a huge flooding feeling of panic because I have to go out. Outside. I took my medication and I hope that will help. The good thing is my sister doesn't know about my anxiety so she will be happy to see me and energized about going garage saling. And I will hide my anxiety and go with her. Although at this moment I can't see that happening. I don't want to go out. I think I am feeling this way because I can't control going out. I mean I can but I can't without letting my sister know about my anxiety. So maybe my anxiety is more about feeling that I don't have control than actually going out. I don't know. Sorry for the long post. I am just having thoughts flooding into my mind as I write. At least it is sunny outside.

[lucidity11]

I think I am going to be having some trouble functioning in the world because my son was struggling. That scares me more than anything. I just want him to find himself and work to stay in the world. Right now he is on my mind all the time. I have to not be too intrusive or controlling in his life. I have to let him come to understand his mind and how to manage his manic depression. But I will always be near by. I feel fear. Its like watching him walk a tight rope without the understanding that he can fall if he missteps. So I am going to a support group next Wednesday to help me to help him and to help me.