[finding_my_way]

i'm not sure if this belongs in this thread or not. it's kind of a crossover between dissociation and ptsd related.

i have spent years trying to explain to certain family members how trauma is different with each person. it's been a mixed response from them, some saying people just 'get over' things and some kind of seeming to understand here and there that some people are not the same in that ability and have effects of it.

i can do ok for times where i can talk about trauma in general, no real details of what i remember, but today was one of those where it came up which led to me trying to explain how it was for me, how i dissociated because it was so scary, etc.

i'm not sure why i try to explain. but i started feeling this fear inside and then found myself visualizing trying to soothe a small child and talking to her to try and calm things down.

i guess there is no real point to writing this except to vent at this point.

[CANDC]

Hi finding my way. I think when you say this

i'm not sure why i try to explain. but i started feeling this fear inside and then found myself visualizing trying to soothe a small child and talking to her to try and calm things down.

you are onto a significantly effective tool for dealing with yourself. I see an inner child in me that needs to be comforted and talked too. This seems like an important development. Have you considered talking to a therapist specializing in dissociation and or PTSD? Having someone sympathetic that understands and supports you.

Personally have no success explaining to relatives. They don't want to know. They want to see a normal life on the outside, but they really don't want to know what is going on in the inside.

Many people who are actively involved in Psych Central find it helps take them out of their own problems to develop empathy for others. And their problems though still there are more manageable.

Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

Please feel free to private message me or any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[finding_my_way]

i do have a psychiatrist. i have talked to her (more in the past) about a lot of it. i just haven't done actual work with her regarding things because of my lack of time or stability, etc. so don't want to really get too, too deep into things...but she knows about everything.

i think maybe i need to bring up specific things with her and see if she can help me maybe sort some things out, but i am not sure how to since i'm not ready to see her often yet to work on things.

i wish i would stop trying to explain to my family, but i still have part of me that wants them to be gentle with me and not so close minded or focus just on their opinion.

[CANDC]

i think maybe i need to bring up specific things with her and see if she can help me maybe sort some things out, but i am not sure how to since i'm not ready to see her often yet to work on things.

Going more specific sounds good. Like are you meds doing what they are supposed to.

I hung onto the hope my family would understand for decades. They don't. Time for me to accept that. It hurts less to accept that.

[finding_my_way]

i do not take a med daily, just as needed as i finally found meds i haven't had bad side effects/reactions to but can cause a degree of feeling out of it/sedation so only take them when needed or at night or on weekends.

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

i do not take a med daily, just as needed as i finally found meds i haven't had bad side effects/reactions to but can cause a degree of feeling out of it/sedation so only take them when needed or at night or on weekends.

I am in the same boat, so I find lifestyle changes help me stay stable.

I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

I think people who haven't been thru trauma that had lasting effects are incapable of truly understanding. They may try but they just can't get it. It's a little like going to a funeral...u may have an idea what it means to lose someone. But not what it means to that particular person. What do u say? What can u do to make it better? The good thing is that u can pick another family from people who have been thru exactly what u r + really understand because they have been there. Hope u can find such a family here.

People have no clue because they haven't been through the wringer like we all have. They try to sympathize for a moment, but they just don't know. But when we persist because we feel that they just don't get it, they get defensive and turns on us.

My family has disowned me and chalked me up to crazy. My present family thinks I'm crazy. Nobody will get it as much as I champion the cause, then they accuse me of being crazy. I quit.

All I want to do is just cry and melt away to nothingness. It's just me and some of y'all because I got to fight some here and there also. I think MI is the loneliest illness. If I had cancer or something else terminal (not knocking cancer because it's awfully the worst), there would be a genuine concern because they can get it, but MI is not.

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

People have no clue because they haven't been through the wringer like we all have. They try to sympathize for a moment, but they just don't know. But when we persist because we feel that they just don't get it, they get defensive and turns on us.

My family has disowned me and chalked me up to crazy. My present family thinks I'm crazy. Nobody will get it as much as I champion the cause, then they accuse me of being crazy. I quit.

All I want to do is just cry and melt away to nothingness. It's just me and some of y'all because I got to fight some here and there also. I think MI is the loneliest illness. If I had cancer or something else terminal (not knocking cancer because it's awfully the worst), there would be a genuine concern because they can get it, but MI is not.

yes. i had experience where two family members had physical illnesses, one cancer and one had multiple system atrophy, similar to ALS. one family member was doing all they could for them (this was years apart) and treated them way different than me. i needed help at one point for an eating disorder but was treated like i could just get over that if i 'wanted' to and was treated like it was a choice. they could have fundraised for me to help with treatment like they were more than willing to for my two family members if needed for medical treatment for them but not me. never me. i was not even on the radar for anything like that and actually received help from someone i only knew for a short time online. they saved my life.

i have limited people to talk to about things which is why i came here...and dissociation i think is one of the harder things to struggle with too because it has another element of confusion and so many layers..trauma in general.

[foreverforgotten]

I've been there. It sucks trying to explain everything.

[foreverforgotten]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

People have no clue because they haven't been through the wringer like we all have. They try to sympathize for a moment, but they just don't know. But when we persist because we feel that they just don't get it, they get defensive and turns on us.

My family has disowned me and chalked me up to crazy. My present family thinks I'm crazy. Nobody will get it as much as I champion the cause, then they accuse me of being crazy. I quit.

All I want to do is just cry and melt away to nothingness. It's just me and some of y'all because I got to fight some here and there also. I think MI is the loneliest illness. If I had cancer or something else terminal (not knocking cancer because it's awfully the worst), there would be a genuine concern because they can get it, but MI is not.

I agree. You can't understand it if you aren't going through it. You can try to, but you won't succeed. It makes it harder when you can't find the words to even try to explain it to the.