Always thought that I didn't dissociate, but after last nights argument, I've begun to realize that my triggers is dealing with other people and their feelings requiring an appropriate emotional response which I'm so like confused about and not capable of doing.

I've totally dazed out on people walking up on me. Then being accused that I come across as a person that doesn't care about others...I just so don't know how to deal with confrontation.

I've been punched in the face because I dissociated and my mouth ran its mouth while I watched. The punch felt like a tap and then we attacked the other person.

Normally I switch seamlessly for the job required, but a surprise confrontation throws my game way off. I even get triggered hard to the Angry One or some other lunatic.

Now I get it. Thought I'd say that.

I absolutely hate it when anyone ( except perhaps my T who I kinda of pay to evaluate me!) feels they have the right to criticize my feelings or attitute. What gives them the audacity to think they can judge what's going on in my head? Perhaps if I did something egregious a friend might say that behavior was offensive but how I feel, they don't know. I have tried to come up with a list on paper of short responses cuz I always think of good stuff the next day! 'Thanks for sharing now let's talk about your attitude' has shut a lot of people up. A very sarcastic - so that's what u think has worked well for me. One sentence, no discussion. Sometimes just a nasty look & leaving works. We r under no obligation to explain to anyone anything- as if one of those "normal" people could understand anyway. A fellow abuse survivor will laugh and say yea maybe I'm crazy. If they think u come across as uncaring they r wrong. It's their mistake. People have a right to be wrong & even rude. We don't have to try & change them.When things happen and I don't react as expected by favorite line is 'well, it seemed like a good idea at the time'. Don't believe them. We have survived things they can't even imagine. We dissociate cuz we needed to to survive. They can't understand. A T told me from his knowledge, there were others who didn't survive. We r the lucky ones. So others can just keep their mouths shut.

Originally Posted by cavaliers

I absolutely hate it when anyone ( except perhaps my T who I kinda of pay to evaluate me!) feels they have the right to criticize my feelings or attitute. What gives them the audacity to think they can judge what's going on in my head? Perhaps if I did something egregious a friend might say that behavior was offensive but how I feel, they don't know. I have tried to come up with a list on paper of short responses cuz I always think of good stuff the next day! 'Thanks for sharing now let's talk about your attitude' has shut a lot of people up. A very sarcastic - so that's what u think has worked well for me. One sentence, no discussion. Sometimes just a nasty look & leaving works. We r under no obligation to explain to anyone anything- as if one of those "normal" people could understand anyway. A fellow abuse survivor will laugh and say yea maybe I'm crazy. If they think u come across as uncaring they r wrong. It's their mistake. People have a right to be wrong & even rude. We don't have to try & change them.When things happen and I don't react as expected by favorite line is 'well, it seemed like a good idea at the time'. Don't believe them. We have survived things they can't even imagine. We dissociate cuz we needed to to survive. They can't understand. A T told me from his knowledge, there were others who didn't survive. We r the lucky ones. So others can just keep their mouths shut.

Unfortunately I'm married to this one.

People freak me out. I never learned social skills as a child/teen. I'm doing better today being 47, I'm still a little rough around the edges. Most of my others handle different situations. It took us to about 25 years of age with tons of drugs to finally relax enough to deal with people.

I still get perplexed about human contact, but not as much so because the others have learned their parts.

triggers are certainly hard.

we have lots

at last count 14.. but we still don't know what they all are

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

triggers are certainly hard.

we have lots

at last count 14.. but we still don't know what they all are

Everything's a trigger. Situations, events, people, enviroment, emotions, thoughts, relationships, dreams it seems. Coping with life.

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Everything's a trigger. Situations, events, people, enviroment, emotions, thoughts, relationships, dreams it seems. Coping with life.

if only life was a thousand times easier.

...

[dissociative]

I have been wondering recently what triggers me, because I've been very much out of balance in the past few months. I've found one weird thing, though its certainly not the only one. There I a linguistic context: my first name has several forms in my native language, and each of them has different uses. There is that official form, which I always use for work. And there is that ' childish one, used around family and friends. I haven't actually been using that one for ages, not even with friends. For some reason, people I've been around recently address me with the second one. Now, that has really messed up with me, apart from other things. I think a different part of me often responds to that form.

[Fuzzybear]

so many...

I was named after my abuser before the abuse. So every time I hear my name....

[Shaly78]

correct emotional response I'm going use that phrase. Is that okay to say.....Sorry this is extremely triggering for me! Who is the to say what is correct emotional response for a situation...Maybe you need that time to let it be held back there because having an correct emotional response in the moment is not always safe! This is extremely triggering! If I was you and I get it you have your standards for your selves I wouldn't be worried about a correct emotional response! When I/we feel the need to have one and it is safe then I try to make sure it happens and it is not always a conscious process!!! YOu would have to have background to know why this is extremely triggering something I went through

[finding_my_way]

sometimes i have triggers, other times i have none...like right now. well, maybe chronic stress for the last year and now finally being settled is it. i am not sure.

it feels lately like there are things deep inside that i cannot fully grasp, just the feelings, but barely..no link, nothing concrete. it's confusing and sometimes feels scary. not sure how to figure it out.

think i jinxed myself last night because i said something about how i'd rather hear/feel the others more instead of not. i don't know if it's just a coincidence today or not....but now i regret having said that because whatever it is right now is not really enjoyable.

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

think i jinxed myself last night because i said something about how i'd rather hear/feel the others more instead of not. i don't know if it's just a coincidence today or not....but now i regret having said that because whatever it is right now is not really enjoyable.

((((Finding_my_way)))) really sorry you're going through that. I can really relate. I don't even know if I believe Im DID yet, but I want to be open minded enough to accept it if it is true. So I told myself if any more horrible things popped up in my head I would try and listen and that if there was anyone else inside me I wanted to know and to listen. All hell broke loose shortly after, and its still going, and I have to remind myself daily that I do still want to know.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I was named after my abuser before the abuse. So every time I hear my name....

I know many people that got through this. they changed their name...example when meeting someone ...I my name is fred but my friends call me Gus. if you want to go this route just pick a new name and stick with that one name then tell anyone that calls you, your birth name you decided to change your name to (new name) please call me that. and when you introduce your self to new people use the new name.

some people go through the legal process to legally change their names. your county clerks office can tell you how to do that.

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by Justagir1

((((Finding_my_way)))) really sorry you're going through that. I can really relate. I don't even know if I believe Im DID yet, but I want to be open minded enough to accept it if it is true. So I told myself if any more horrible things popped up in my head I would try and listen and that if there was anyone else inside me I wanted to know and to listen. All hell broke loose shortly after, and its still going, and I have to remind myself daily that I do still want to know.

yeah. this year has been odd for me in terms of two events being triggered that i hadn't really experienced much before. the first was something triggering me which led to feeling physically sick and then dissociating and an image coming into my head. it was not like a memory, something more almost like a dream except i was awake. in it, there was four people, two were myself and a friend i had when we were quite young, 5 or 6. there was no scenery, just white. it only lasted a few seconds, but it was completely terrifying. i could not and still cannot make sense of what it was..if it was a memory, a partial memory..or just something my mind threw at me.

the second thing was related to a partial memory i had with no middle part to it. out of nowhere, i heard a female's voice tell me what happened. i only got a little bit more image information from that particular memory, but still no image of what really did happen. when i saw my psychiatrist a month later, i told her what the voice said. she just said that there are different variations of what it said happened, the specific word used, i mean. that just confused me more..and then that was kind of the end of that...but then i was feeling dissociated and heard this quiet voice say, 'i don't know what's wrong with me.' immediately, i almost put my hand over my mouth because i didn't know why that came out. it wasn't 'me.' i DO know what is wrong with me...so to have that come out was just confusing.

there was zero connection to a thought and then what came out as there is when i am not actively dissociating and more 'just' me. so, i do have subtle things happen like that too...but i don't notice it since i'm alone a lot...sometimes it's just with my psychiatrist that i notice smaller things when they aren't outright 'in my face' to speak like they used to be.

[knit roses]

Having someone breathe on me, pumpkin seeds, Ricky Nelson, Fabian, Kool cigarettes, Hamm's beer, groups of men, etc. I avoid tv shows which have hangings (Westerns), cooking shows with meat, Law & Order SVU, refugees, etc. The show that caused overwhelming anxiety was a travel show. It was a Hawaian luau. The whole pig was skewered by a spit.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I know many people that got through this. they changed their name...example when meeting someone ...I my name is fred but my friends call me Gus. if you want to go this route just pick a new name and stick with that one name then tell anyone that calls you, your birth name you decided to change your name to (new name) please call me that. and when you introduce your self to new people use the new name.

some people go through the legal process to legally change their names. your county clerks office can tell you how to do that.

Part of me is so dot the "I"'s and cross the "t"'s that altering pure reality is so unnerving...but thank you for the suggestion. When it comes to anything concerning us....we freeze....we are unimportant...we don't matter....we are worthless...