[kimmydawn]

Does anyone have knowledge or experience with this?

I've heard that it's a bit more guarded with a dissociator, but still highly affective. I've also heard that it's more widely accepted now in its different forms.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated!

KD

[kimmydawn]

I'll go into more detail...

I have all the information now, right? I can view the big picture of "my" life. I got it!

However, there's little feeling attached and these things can still kick my bottom and trigger old defensive responses due to feelings the might begin to come. I don't have the experience as a whole in other words and can still respond as I always did...though to a MUCH lesser extent.

It seems that the part of my brain that processes almost anything in regard to feeling combined with trauma is malfuntioned...lol. There's the fear and freeze response...then there I sit with nothing going further.

I know this can be helped because I used to be this same way with even just a picture memory.

I've heard that EMDR can greatly help with the processing of trauma as a whole...which is still and issue with me.

KD

[pegasus]

Hello kimmydawn,

I have had some EMDR in the past.

I have found it really good for establishing a really good 'safe' place. I found that when we did EMDR for that, at first I went back to an 'old' safe place but did it again and found a 'here and now' safe place. This has been very useful.

But I will say that we had to stop doing EMDR for the trauma work as the trauma was just too traumatic. T found other ways to deal with that.

EMDR can be very effective but doesn't suit all, especially if the trauma is horrific.

[(JD)]

For my own self having vast experience with hypnosis prior to my injury I found that because of my ability/tendency to dissociate, the EMDR wouldn't work. People who are easily hypnotized go to a deeper level than where EMDR is effective. Visually this might not work for you? I think someone might be able to utilize the tapping or other sensory elements to find a workable level? Good wishes.

[kimmydawn]

Thank you!

That's what I need to hear.

I wonder about ppl like me who have the horrific details already...when that "shock/fear factor" is no longer in place, if it might not be *as* re-traumatizing...which I've heard is the key...not to re-traumatize. In my case, I have the information, but not the "experience".

Yes, I read about the safe place and how it's mandatory to establish.

Thank you!

KD

[kimmydawn]

Thanks, sky!

Yes, I wondered about that as well...especially when told that there's extra to consider with dissociators.

I also wondered about the different kinds...which being the more effective, or a combination of two.

Very cool.

KD

[kimmydawn]

With me...again, I have the picture. There's rarely that "freeze response" when I view, or something's triggered for me. That's great! Good healing...

With me though, as well, the "experience/feeling/reaction" is not attached for the most part.

It's an intellectual knowing and retaining, with the experience still being separate...still having the capability to throw me.

Of course, triggering those same things is painful and if too painful, it's unhelpful because then skills come into play and nothing really is accomplished, ya know?

KD

T has suggested this to me numerous times, but I am so hyper-vigilant that I don't trust the process and trust is exactly what is needed to do it.

Even though intellectually I understand the process, I fear what it will stir up.

The first thing I do when I go someplace new, is look for the fire exit or another way out. This would be no different. (At least to me in my paranoid world.)

[kimmydawn]

Thank, Petunia and I sooooooo hear you on your concerns.

Huge ones for me as well.

Thank you!

KD

[Gabby2007]

I'm not a dissociator, but I've had some EMDR for some childhood tramma.

is it okay that I post here anyway?

I was really scared that it would bring up new stuff, but it didn't. I can't emphasis enough about the trust thing, I only agreed to it as I had seen this T for two years already.

I loved the EMDR experience. I couldn't 'do' the visual, I'm a visual learner and it was too much bombardment and I got nausous feeling with the stuff in the background. So I closed my eyes and she tapped on the chair.

For me I would describe my memories as a slide show, and EMDR put it all together, as in movie form. I was aware of more of myself afterwords...those parts that had been cut off...actually it was easier for me to let go of some pain then, as EMDR made the tramma more real to me.

(I'm really sorry if I'm not supposed to be posting here)

[kimmydawn]

You are fine to post here, gabby and I'm thankful you did.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. That helps...alot. I so appreciate your pointing out the positive, but also the negative.

Thank you!

KD

[MissCharlotte]

Kimmydawn,

It might work for you. In the first few months of my therapy T tried EMDR once, but I was prone to retraumatization. The retrauma experience happened a couple of times in his office while we were talking, (not necessarly during the EMDR) and it was very painful and frightening, so he hasn't tried EMDR again, for fear of triggering a retraumatization again. He has explained that integration of traumatic experience should be accomplished without retraumatization. Maybe in the future, but not for now.

That's my experience.

Sister

How does it work? Do you just pick a memory/traumatic experience and work on that? One at a time?

[kimmydawn]

From what I understand IF I choose to consider going in this route...

First would be more recent traumas and appear "safer", doing one at a time.

First, though, it's imperative to have a safe place and practiced use and getting there pretty easily.

KD

[Gabby2007]

Kimmy,
that sounds like a good idea, picking something more recent, and safer.

my experience has been picking ONE incident...my T had me chooose a memory, (so I picked a slide from my memory --- it was the day we found out my parents were dead --- the only sound I could hear was the tele ringing - and the feeling I felt was [acute aloneness. I was sitting under a table all alone], the thought I was thinking was [was it confusion] I was saying to myself 'what's going on????' my parents had been missing for days and I was only ten but I knew somethign was wrong.

so you pick
memory
thought
feeling

and for me EMDR integrated it all for me,

I was scared it'd open pandoras box and it didn't...it simply 'worked' on that memory. I ended feeling more connected, more whole. the grief was there, the loss of my parents more acute than before...but I wasn't cut off from myself about that particular memeory.

p.s. THEN I went on to EMDR on some abuse issues that happened in a subsequent foster home. Again, terrible fears ahead of time and I waited until I was ready.

I found that EMDR was the tool that really allowed me to release some stuff that up to then talk therapy hadn't.

SAY, all this talk....I think I'm going to get some more EMDR! seriously! maybe it'll work on my reemerging agoraphobia and OCD.

Gabby I am soooooooo glad this worked for you.

But also sorry you had those things happen in the first place.

KD, good-luck with this. Kudos for trying.

I would never know which trauma to choose.

And so it goes...

[Gemstone]

My t (when I still had one) and I talked about this, but I never felt very comfortable with it. She thought it could be benificial, but I guess I didn't trust it either.

Let us know what you decide kd.

[kimmydawn]

Oh, petunia, I'm *just* considering it.

Whew, touching what I can only suspect to be there is scary to think about. However, I lived through getting the memory and putting it all together, so just maybe...

I do want it NOT to affect my life anymore. I feel when it does, parts of me are still being affected by those people.

Thank you so much.

Gem, I'll let you know what I decide. Thank you.

KD

[Crystal88]

I tried EDMR and it didn't work for me. But I do remember when I was looking through all the posts one time that there are other EDMR threads around here somewhere. Maybe you can find your answer or other peoples answers to others questions like what is EDMR and such things somewhere in those other threads.

[sunrise]

Kimmy, I have done EMDR several times in therapy and it really worked well for me. In each case, we did childhood traumas that I was still stuck on as an adult. In one case, we actually "went back" to my infancy. For one particularly traumatic series of abuse events, it took me quite a lot of preparation before I was ready to do EMDR on these. Had to do a lot of trustbuilding with T and do some pre-desensitization with the images/recollections. What is strange is that after the EMDR the memories seem so much more distant and just not so traumatic to recall and I can talk about them. My T doesn't do the visual EMDR--I'm sure I could never do that because I wouldn't be coordinated enough. He uses the little electronic gizmos you can hold, on in each hand, or put them under your thighs or feet.

[Evangelista]

((((Kimmy))))

Tried it once, could not help us, to hypervigilent and afterwards, crashed. Wish you luck with it though, and hope it helps.

[kimmydawn]

Thank you!

(((((( sunrise )))))) thank you for sharing.

((((( evangelista ))))) Thank you too!

Yes, I worry what experiencing feeling might bring about IF I decide try this.

I have to remember that I felt the same with just the picture memory, and though it was hard, it was so worth it.

Love,

KD

[Crystal88]

Ive been looking into EMDR and according to the books I have been reading the person is supposed to be more centered into the here and now and remain non emotional and non judgemental when they think about the memory they are working on reducing the trigger for and after looking at it from the non emotional side they pick a word that helps them and then uses tapping and moving eyes and repeating a sound and their word whenever they get triggered by something in the here and now. from what I can see so far its like removing the panic before a dissociator ends up dissociating into reliving that memory emotions and all.

My therapist from a long time ago gave me this link when she was having me try EMDR. I couldnt do it because I didn't know back then what my triggers are so we could not match a trigger to a memory. And I had no emotions (flat effect) anyway unless I was dissociated and EMDR is supposed to be done when not dissociated.

But my therapist now and I tried doing it some of it today by doing phase 1. most of which she now knows my history so it went through rather quickly, then we practiced saying the word focus, tapping my forehead and moving my eyes left and right without thinking of any memorys. Next session we are going to look at one of my memorys without judgement and emotions (which is easy for me considering I have dissociated all my memories from my emotions and from me most of the time) one that I have been doing some journalling about and starting to pay attention to emotions. And the next session we are going to put all the elements together where I have to think about that memory without judgement and emotion (which is relatively easy considering I have separated myself from my emotions anyway through dissociating.) and doing the tapping saying focus and the moving my eyeballs.

My therapist says it may not work for me for the full benefit of it because as a dissociator I have already separated my memories and emotions out of my awareness so we should actually be working on stimulating my senses and emotions not shutting them out more but since I wanted to try it again for a panic attack I keep getting when ever I am in the mall and the meory that matches it is my getting raped in a mall bathroom. We are first going to do this and then after I have the tools (EMDR) as a way to ground myslef we will be going into the emotional stuff about that memory.

http://emdr.com/

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
the person is supposed to be more centered into the here and now and remain non emotional and non judgemental when they think about the memory

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
For me, EMDR was not done in a way that did not incorporate the emotions. I actually don't think it would have worked nearly as well for me if I didn't accept the emotion bound up in the memory. However, my therapist is very eclectic, so may have been incorporating some elements into his practice of EMDR that are not used by all practitioners. I'm not sure. However, I did read a book on EMDR before I began treatment, Emotional Healing at Warp Speed: the Power of EMDR by David Grand, and I found my T's EMDR to be pretty similar, and Grand is a well-respected EMDR practitioner. In the book, he recounts a number of EMDR sessions with his clients, and emotion is definitely there! He does not ask his clients to be unemotional or non-judgmental. This just wasn't part of it, just as with my own therapist.

Crystall, good luck with this technique. I hope it helps you get over your trauma at the mall. What a terrible thing to happen. (((Hugs)))

[kimmydawn]

This is a good discussion.

I would think emotion would be the primary focus because emotional integration with the the "movie" that I have are not there. I personally feel that's why the movie still feels separate to me alot of the time.

So, yes, I think that emotion would be a huge factor should I decide to do this.

Thanks!

KD