[finding_my_way]

i have decided to try guided imagery to see if it can help improve communication with the others as the ability to now is feeling nonexistent, and things have been very difficult for me as a result. my hope is that it can help (and not make things worse) so that whoever wants to talk can talk and in return start to heal. i feel so much of their pain, fear, sadness, etc. and a mix of a lot of things and at the same time dissociate for a bit almost daily which is also seeming to change and get more severe to the point it feels like i am almost 100% gone or going to pass out or something.

it has felt like i am a hostage among it all and really is scary and confusing and causing a lot of difficulties for me.

i don't remember it like that in childhood which makes sense why i wouldn't...and i always wondered how it might have been then. now, i get it and know just how bad it was and how it did protect me.

i was wondering if anyone has used guided imagery to help with communication with their system and what it was like. did it work the first time or take a few times? did it work at all?

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

i have decided to try guided imagery to see if it can help improve communication with the others as the ability to now is feeling nonexistent, and things have been very difficult for me as a result. my hope is that it can help (and not make things worse) so that whoever wants to talk can talk and in return start to heal. i feel so much of their pain, fear, sadness, etc. and a mix of a lot of things and at the same time dissociate for a bit almost daily which is also seeming to change and get more severe to the point it feels like i am almost 100% gone or going to pass out or something.

it has felt like i am a hostage among it all and really is scary and confusing and causing a lot of difficulties for me.

i don't remember it like that in childhood which makes sense why i wouldn't...and i always wondered how it might have been then. now, i get it and know just how bad it was and how it did protect me.

i was wondering if anyone has used guided imagery to help with communication with their system and what it was like. did it work the first time or take a few times? did it work at all?

suggestion...you might want to check with the legal agency that over sees the laws and ethics for treatment providers in your location. here in america it is illegal and unethical for a treatment provider and client to do something like this. short version treatment providers here in america can lose their credentials if they do anything that contains the goal of calling out of alters, causing a client to dissociate on purpose with the goal of speaking with the alters. the reason behind this is because there have been many law suits against treatment providers due to a condition called false memory syndrome and treatment providers causing their clients to have mental disorders that they may not have, and causing people with dissociative problems to create false alters for the attention and expressed or unexpressed wish of the treatment provider to talk with the alters. in short here in america treatment for dissociative disorders is supposed to focus on stability, grounding and learning how to handle problems and life with out having to dissociate, regardless of whether the trigger is positive or negative treatment providers here are not suppose to enforce dissociating.

that said Im not sure what the laws\ethics \and standards for Canada (your location) which is why I suggest contacting those in your location that makes your mental health laws and ethics before you go through with this.

there are some legal, safe and commonly used ways to communicate with alters that my treatment providers and I used....

for example if I happened to dissociate during therapy which ever alter who's sense of agency was to handle what ever happened to trigger me would talk with my treatment provider....for instance if my treatment provider and I were talking about a problem I was having at work and I happened to dissociate (feel numb spaced out disconnected switched into an alter) then the alters that took care of work related problems would take control and talk with my therapist.

Journals. I kept many different styles of journals around. when ever I happened to dissociate whether I was at home, in a college class, at work, in therapy, the alters would write or draw.

toys and stuffed animals. many of my alters loved to hold and play with toys and stuffed animals. if during therapy my therapist and I were talking about something and I happened to dissociate she would ask the resulting alter if she wanted a toy \stuffed animal to hold and play with (this therapy technique is known as play therapy)

recording devices. sometimes when i dissociated i would find recordings around the house so my therapist video and audio taped my sessions. this came in handy not only for those times I dissociated. Any time I didnt remember what happened in therapy for any number of reasons all I needed to do was schedule an appointment for my therapist and I to go though the recordings.

I dont know about canada (your location) but here we do have a therapy technique called inner child therapy but its not used for talking with alters. It a therapy approach based on the fact that even normal people have times wen they feel like and respond like a child. when my therapist and I did this for my anxiety, I took in a picture of me when i was a child. then my therapist had me look at the picture and ......imagine... I was that age again, ...imagine...it was that time when the picture was taken and then ....imagine ...what i would tell that little me in the picture. then my therapist had me close my eyes and imagine doing and saying those things to the little me that I was in the picture.

another name for this therapy technique in my location is called roll playing and fantasy play, playing pretend and using ones imagination. Its also called a grounding exercise because its meant to be calming, relaxing and grounding/ non dissociative exercise. The moment dissociation enters into this where an alter takes control the activity is stopped. then when the client is back in the present moment therapist and client talk about the exercise and what in it caused the dissociation so that the problem can be worked out before doing inner child therapy technique again.

your treatment provider can tell you more about this according to your locations laws and ethics.

[finding_my_way]

the problem is that i am journaling, and it's just me journaling. they have never written really..maybe years ago.

i have never told the psychiatrist names of any, and she really knows nothing about any of them to call them by name or anything, etc., so i figured if any of the ones with names i know of do say something, it would actually really be them and not a random one. at least, that would be my hope.

the reason i am considering doing this is because there is really no communication, yet they are causing a lot of struggles for me the last few months, and i do not know how else to deal with things without communication because it is getting very difficult functioning wise, etc.

they do not take over, so there are no random things i find like writings or anything. though with the dissociation, the memories during it are very fuzzy if they are still known at all over a few hours or days later.

the others do exist, but they seem to not be able to communicate or talk like they used to be able to. i can feel things that are stuck. i know they want and need to talk, but there is a huge block/barrier that didn't exist years ago that does now.

i don't know who i would contact in canada because there doesn't seem to be as many resources for this as there is in the US. it is very rare to even find a professional who believes in DID to begin with.

i would think it would be more an issue if a person had no known history of symptoms or alters or any trauma memories at all that did this and then ended up with it. that would definitely make me think it was therapist induced.

but since i have struggled my entire life with known symptoms and alters as well as several corroborated (and some partial) full trauma memories, it could still hopefully be done safely without inducing false memories or alters, etc.

The way I've understood the classifications of alters...they can just be urges, irrational over extended pressures- I too get them.

Dissociative memories don't have to be full blown Others....they are like seperate memory pockets that exist on their own battery, so to speak. They may not talk or be,... But they are still there, fragmented from the rest and running on their own juice. They are still a part of you seperated and clinging on.

They may not verbally communicate, but they still exude feelings, emotions, preservation, they are still scared and need to be brought back in for comfort or they will forever react the only way they know how because of the trauma.

I really wish you and them luck.

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

The way I've understood the classifications of alters...they can just be urges, irrational over extended pressures- I too get them.

Dissociative memories don't have to be full blown Others....they are like seperate memory pockets that exist on their own battery, so to speak. They may not talk or be,... But they are still there, fragmented from the rest and running on their own juice. They are still a part of you seperated and clinging on.

They may not verbally communicate, but they still exude feelings, emotions, preservation, they are still scared and need to be brought back in for comfort or they will forever react the only way they know how because of the trauma.

I really wish you and them luck.

yes. thank you. i do believe there is a mix of pieces of just memories, fragments, and alters. well, i know that it all exists.

it is difficult because of the lack of communication that actually used to exist. so without that communication, there is no way for them to heal or grow, etc. and you are right that they will keep reacting/responding the same ways if there is no way they can heal.

i know some can and do talk because sometimes i clearly hear a voice saying things, different voices, but a tiny piece of a sentence, and it's when i'm wide awake. other than that though, it's not how it once was with being able to have conversations with them which is what i feel is necessary.

it is exhausting with the revolving door type of situation with so many variations of things from them and trying to function in my daily life among it.

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

it is exhausting with the revolving door type of situation with so many variations of things from them and trying to function in my daily life among it.

Yes - completely! I'm interested in guided imagery too- would love to hear if anyone has experience.

In the meantime- I found patience and perseverance really helped. Keep trying very consciously to identify who is there and talk to them. It might take months and months of reassurance but eventually they'll click. Can you visualise looking for the wall - seeing what its made of, and slowly breaking it down?

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by CassyO

Yes - completely! I'm interested in guided imagery too- would love to hear if anyone has experience.

In the meantime- I found patience and perseverance really helped. Keep trying very consciously to identify who is there and talk to them. It might take months and months of reassurance but eventually they'll click. Can you visualise looking for the wall - seeing what its made of, and slowly breaking it down?

years ago there was actual communication. but barriers went up in 2007, and they all went quiet for a few years except for some things here and there.

now that things in my life have stabilized more, it's like they just became more active. i assume it's because it's now 'safe' for things to be worked on/for them to be more active. the last few months have been similar to how it was when they were active years ago minus the communication aspect. once i decided to share more details with my psychiatrist more about them thinking it was safe and i was stable to do so, it triggered things.

i can only feel walls/barriers, and i am struggling daily where there are times i can just feel intense emotions that vary from way inside. it feels like things are just..stuck..and there is no way it can get out..so it creates horrible feelings that sometimes become unbearable mixed with dissociation at the same time. this has been going on now since about september but changing in severity the last while..and changing in other ways.

i don't think they can talk except random things here and there that seem to make it to me...but overall..it's like they just cannot communicate like needed. all i get at rare times are random sentences not connected to anything i know..and feelings.

that is why i'm trying to fast track it...or break down some of the barriers..i'm well aware of how it 'could' be since i have experienced it before which kind of concerns me because of how certain ones are...but i feel like it has to be done..or at least attempted. something needs out. writing only does so much at this point..and trying to talk to them.

i also just want to be able to function better than i am currently. so hoping it doesn't do the opposite.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

years ago there was actual communication. but barriers went up in 2007, and they all went quiet for a few years except for some things here and there.

now that things in my life have stabilized more, it's like they just became more active. i assume it's because it's now 'safe' for things to be worked on/for them to be more active. the last few months have been similar to how it was when they were active years ago minus the communication aspect. once i decided to share more details with my psychiatrist more about them thinking it was safe and i was stable to do so, it triggered things.

i can only feel walls/barriers, and i am struggling daily where there are times i can just feel intense emotions that vary from way inside. it feels like things are just..stuck..and there is no way it can get out..so it creates horrible feelings that sometimes become unbearable mixed with dissociation at the same time. this has been going on now since about september but changing in severity the last while..and changing in other ways.

i don't think they can talk except random things here and there that seem to make it to me...but overall..it's like they just cannot communicate like needed. all i get at rare times are random sentences not connected to anything i know..and feelings.

that is why i'm trying to fast track it...or break down some of the barriers..i'm well aware of how it 'could' be since i have experienced it before which kind of concerns me because of how certain ones are...but i feel like it has to be done..or at least attempted. something needs out. writing only does so much at this point..and trying to talk to them.

i also just want to be able to function better than i am currently. so hoping it doesn't do the opposite.

something just jumped out at me in your post. and again your location may go by different standards because you are in a completely different country...

you stated ...

Originally Posted by finding_my_way

years ago there was actual communication. but barriers went up in 2007, and they all went quiet for a few years except for some things here and there.

now that things in my life have stabilized more, it's like they just became more active. i assume it's because it's now 'safe' for things to be worked on/for them to be more active.

here in America dissociative type alters are more active when there is more triggering/more stress\ more instability...

let me show you what I mean...

when i was stable, not triggered and able to take care of myself and my life...

for example (all my medications for bipolar, depression anxiety,...were working, when I wasnt having any dissociative symptoms (feeling numb, spaced out, disconnected) when I wasnt triggered by something that I could not handle (nothing in my life was causing me emotional turmoil, nothing in my life was causing me to dissociate, I could handle all my problems on my own)

there was no need to dissociate, no need to switch into alters because my life was on track, non triggering, non stressful and stable...there was no need for the alters to take control to do their job, purpose, reasons for being created (in other words their sense of agency)

this kind of thing has been documented with mental health treatment providers treating DID, here in america so much so that the diagnostic criteria now includes that there must be these components of how and when alters can take control, how much control they have when they are in control of the body, what their jobs, purposes, reasons for being created are (in other words their sense of agency which you can read about in my links at the bottom of my post)

my point...if you were here in the USA, your alters not being active points towards a good thing because it shows you have more stability, better coping tools to where you are able to handle your life with out the alters taking control to do their jobs, purposes, reasons for being created. it was also in me pointed to the alters integrating/merging\ becoming one with me because they were no longer needed.

since your alters were active years ago and now are not active my suggestion is to look at your life. see how stable you are, continue to use your treatment plans that have enabled you to be more stable so that the alters felt they no longer had to take control, no longer had to talk\supply information. maybe its already with in you to discover what ever is lurknig under the surface without the alters help.

again since you are in a different country it might be best for you to tell your treatment provider what you are feeling so that they can explain to you what dissociation is in your location and what alters going quiet for years means in your location and what diagnostic criteria your location uses to define what alters with dissociative disorders are, can do and such things that may reflect into what is going on in you. your treatment provider can also let you know whether what you would like to do (guided imagery for communication with alternate personalities) is legal and ethical in your location.

i know that you are afraid to talk with your treatment provider about having alters but sometimes it can be really helpful, who knows maybe your treatment provider will have some treatment options that will help you with out it going against the laws and ethics in your location.

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by CassyO

Yes - completely! I'm interested in guided imagery too- would love to hear if anyone has experience.

In the meantime- I found patience and perseverance really helped. Keep trying very consciously to identify who is there and talk to them. It might take months and months of reassurance but eventually they'll click. Can you visualise looking for the wall - seeing what its made of, and slowly breaking it down?

I would be interested in hearing about guided imagery also!

I'm stuck right now in the same place that Finding My Way is describing. It's a very hard place to be in!

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

something just jumped out at me in your post. and again your location may go by different standards because you are in a completely different country...

you stated ...

here in America dissociative type alters are more active when there is more triggering/more stress\ more instability...

let me show you what I mean...

when i was stable, not triggered and able to take care of myself and my life...

for example (all my medications for bipolar, depression anxiety,...were working, when I wasnt having any dissociative symptoms (feeling numb, spaced out, disconnected) when I wasnt triggered by something that I could not handle (nothing in my life was causing me emotional turmoil, nothing in my life was causing me to dissociate, I could handle all my problems on my own)

there was no need to dissociate, no need to switch into alters because my life was on track, non triggering, non stressful and stable...there was no need for the alters to take control to do their job, purpose, reasons for being created (in other words their sense of agency)

this kind of thing has been documented with mental health treatment providers treating DID, here in america so much so that the diagnostic criteria now includes that there must be these components of how and when alters can take control, how much control they have when they are in control of the body, what their jobs, purposes, reasons for being created are (in other words their sense of agency which you can read about in my links at the bottom of my post)

my point...if you were here in the USA, your alters not being active points towards a good thing because it shows you have more stability, better coping tools to where you are able to handle your life with out the alters taking control to do their jobs, purposes, reasons for being created. it was also in me pointed to the alters integrating/merging\ becoming one with me because they were no longer needed.

since your alters were active years ago and now are not active my suggestion is to look at your life. see how stable you are, continue to use your treatment plans that have enabled you to be more stable so that the alters felt they no longer had to take control, no longer had to talk\supply information. maybe its already with in you to discover what ever is lurknig under the surface without the alters help.

again since you are in a different country it might be best for you to tell your treatment provider what you are feeling so that they can explain to you what dissociation is in your location and what alters going quiet for years means in your location and what diagnostic criteria your location uses to define what alters with dissociative disorders are, can do and such things that may reflect into what is going on in you. your treatment provider can also let you know whether what you would like to do (guided imagery for communication with alternate personalities) is legal and ethical in your location.

i know that you are afraid to talk with your treatment provider about having alters but sometimes it can be really helpful, who knows maybe your treatment provider will have some treatment options that will help you with out it going against the laws and ethics in your location.

while my life has become externally more stable, months ago things got severely triggered internally which made the others more active since..just with lack of internal communication. there are also a lot of random triggers which just triggers them and me more.

i have talked to the psychiatrist about the others as much as i've been able to the last few months.

i have read what i can find online on using guided imagery in DID, and i believe canada and the US have similar guidelines on it. i know the psychiatrist would not do anything to harm me or that isn't ethical as she has been very patient and never asked leading questions about trauma, the others, etc. over the years that i have been seeing her so most likely would not risk it or have suggested it if it wasn't potentially helpful.

[cheshiregrins]

Well it took a lot of therapy for me to be able to communicate with my other parts... but I just wanted to mention that I find that this meditation helps:

It's about communicating with your inner child, which anyone can use, but I find that when my child parts feel neglected/abandoned this can really be helpful.

[finding_my_way]

Originally Posted by cheshiregrins

Well it took a lot of therapy for me to be able to communicate with my other parts... but I just wanted to mention that I find that this meditation helps:

It's about communicating with your inner child, which anyone can use, but I find that when my child parts feel neglected/abandoned this can really be helpful.

thanks. i'll look at that. i'm trying to figure out what i can do for each part specifically when they are closer/i can feel them and they are struggling. i think the younger parts are easier to connect with/talk to than the others right now.