questions: dissociative disorders version

Since, my experience is so dang unique, basically if you don't me I got involved unknowily in a religious cult that does stuff without permission called gangstalking to help and hurt this system...While we still have to attend therapy so basically they are undermining therapy! Any whoo, we're fairly sure that this has caused any type of therapy to be at an impasse. We feel corroded and healed enough, so we've got the stance of complete quietness, so I curse out *** needed and just be overall mean! Just background.

How much time do you give on a good day when you go an say something about someone not keeping time when it is ur turn? Say for instance, your apt is 130pm it is 145pm and no one has gone up to ask what is taking so long inquirying?

i'd probably say no less than 15 and no more than 20

when you shop for groceries, does everyone get a say in what to buy, or is it done by 1, and 1 insider only

Grocery shopping is pretty messy and usually takes around 2 hours. Seem to spend a lot of time putting groceries back on the shelves. Very rarely do we come away with coordinated ingredients to make real stuff with. We are very dissociative when grocery shopping. Binge eaters vs kids ( I-want-all-the-treats ) vs healthy food junkies. it is always super confusing for us.

How do you face your t when insiders have revealed secrets to him or her?

Can I answer the grocer question, we communicate all wants with the system...My frugal lady is good with all wants for the kids as well...We allow the begging to be heard only and use a list...It is quite fun!

If your conscious with the system alter that has revealed secrets. I think if you have done your research and know therapist have heard it all it isn't a problem...Mostly this is the alters that you want to deal with when secrets are revealed, you have to play it by ear/body to see what you all can handle knowing your livelihood and the children /relationship with significant other is more important. I would say the therapist is the least of your worries...If just kinda new at that, start with how you felt about revealing it with your therapist and how you thought she might take it to console you in the shame or embarrassment...Ignore it and if she wants to discuss it then either avoid or say I don't remember for safety...Safety is always first though not showing off competition, I got caught in that while in a group not really on a conscious level, but what came next was a whole lot of chaos....I thought it was important not to sit like a bump on a log either spending my gas money....If I had know I would have shared in different order.....I feel bad for that but trying to share the stories with each alter is lot of well go to the research, educate them on why it can be really a task for everyone to be okay.


Has anyone enjoyed and now miss the partial hospitalization or inpatient being in therapy group and individual session I kind of miss the all day attention since I'm on here a lot, but at the same time I'm really good at managing it and rarely need that 6 plus hours of care?

No I haven't. Never been hospitalized for DID partial full or otherwise. Have walked out of the ED a couple of times tho.

Oh I know my t has heard it all before. I am ashamed that I can't face it yet. Ashamed that she knows I can't face it. Because I like to be in control of everything. Ashamed because she and he are working on things I can't.

Do you have other diagnoses in addition to your dissociative disorder?

physical.. no, but i suspect something

mental.. yes, at least 3 others

question:

how many of your parts also post on the forum?

Several, at least since I've been on here about 5-7 alters

Is there anyone without PTSD dx and only the DID dx, I'm insightful I guess in a wonderful world would be a colleague question or case stats. The research left room for interpretation just wondering co morbid

I am not sure as I live in a country where therapy isn't dependent on a diagnosis. I know I took the SCID-D some time ago which gave a diagnosis of DID, but I don't recall PTSD, although I am sure I fit the diagnostic criteria for that too. It isn't in my medical notes - but neither is DID - while depression, ADD and anxiety disorder are. (Probably because I need meds for those while the dr doesn't need to know about DID since he can't do anything bout that).

How old were you when you first sought treatment for a dissociative disorder?

Never did seek treatment for a dissociative disorder. I acquired an autoimmune disease about three and a half - four years ago. The disease left me in an extraordinarily weakened state constantly. In addition, pushing one's self with this disease can be fatal. So, I'm in a constant weakened state so I have to push myself to do anything, but doing so can kill me - so I sat there and did nothing for over a year. Can you imagine a more perfect recipe for depression? Yeah, my primary care physician couldn't either and so he referred me to a therapist/psychiatrist for diagnostic confirmation of depression. While there we accidentally got diagnosed with DID.

Also Shaly: I have a DID dx but tested negative for PTSD - by which I mean that I was sent for diagnostic confirmation for PTSD and the psychiatrist said that while it was probable that I had previously had PTSD, I showed no current signs.

Is anyone familiar with any contraindications for EMDR being a multiple?

i have never done EMDR, but have been doing neurofeedback and have found it very helpful with many of my truama symptoms. i feel it has helped quite a bit with the DID too (helping my system become more cohesive).

i have heard it's suggested that people who do struggle with dissociation to be cautious when doing EMDR and to be sure to work with a T who has been properly trained to work with the dissociation when doing EMDR.

overall, do you think that your T has been helpful in supporting and understanding of you as a multiple?

Yes. Ex t is extremely supportive and understanding. I guess she is a current t again. I dunno.

how do you get through the hard parts?

every day is hardd 1 way or another
suppose all you can really do is keep hoping that the next day will be better (even if the next day seems so far away)

i've found my journal to be a godsend, same goes for the samaratans.

i find loud music helps me cope (louder the better)

being able to control the situation and stuff that's around me at the time (for example i like to put stuff all over the floor because it's strangely comforting)

come on here

what is your happiest moment of life?

Post dx? Getting communication with my first lots lots of tears. ....

Graduating college if just a regular question

What was the hardest day worst day since dx? Mine wasn't the sucide temps ironically enough. I know this was ask I'm asking a again for different user names answers if that's okay..

I don't know how to pick a worst day. None of the worst ones really stand out. All the worst days are right down there at a zero rating.

If I could pick one to be representative of a worst day it would be a recent one when we were shown a part of our reality we didn't know about
It has been partially taken away again so we no longer have to experience the full force of it.
but we still know what it is and we still know we cannot live with this. but we are protected from the feelings of it at the moment.

Question:

do you get to play ?

Each of us? Yes, though we often play together despite having different likes and preferred activities.

If you hold a job, does anyone else or even everyone in your system work there at times?

A few of the front group do at different times, for different things. Even two preteens do sometimes when it isn't inappropriate.

Do you have outside children? Do they know of the different sides of you?

Yes and yes. Though it isn't framed as DID. We are Native American and since my child alter sees nothing contradictory about being both a little girl and a mountain lion cub simultaneously, my daughter refers to her and accepts her as my spirit animal.

Perhaps a bit of an off topic question but I'm beginning to get a bit nervous the closer I get...

Has anyone here had to face a disability judge with a dx of DID?

i want to answer the worst day one (or in my case, worst few days)

having the police knock on the door at 4 A.M to say that someone (from my system), had been talking to a friend in romania to say we were all suicidal and could we go with them right now.

of course, i had no idea what the hell they were talking about and told them they must have the wrong address. i was able to get rid of them, and as soon as i got back to my room pannicked for like ages

then the following 2 days i could not get that visit out of my head

the other worst day for me is when i found out that 1 of my insiders had got us plain tickets for a holiday to greace. so at 5 A.M i had bag packed and stuff, only to finally realise (about an hour later) that if we were going to greace, their was some sort of mistake- i can't even go in my garden, so what makes them think i can go to an airport?. so all that money was wasted on tickets we didn't even use

on the positive side, i did learn a hell of a lot about greace (looking up the hotels and stuff)

no to the last question

question:

what is 1 thing an insider has done that has embarrassed the entire system?

Ummm, one instance... An angry preteen punched a co-worker for opening a window.

I have to explain this here because in general we do not punch people. We were sick with a fever (a trigger for self-protection - we were not looked after when sick, so generally get very protective of selves when ill) and it was the middle of winter... douchebag co-worker insisted on throwing the window wide open in freezing weather despite us asking him not to because we were unwell; preteen leaps to the fore and whops him one.

Yeaaaah, not cool.

(hmmm, so maybe preteen wholloped a few other adults in her time too. A tyrant of a school principal springs to mind... )

How do you protect yourself?

try to avoid triggers

my 2 biggist triggers are fire and family
family is easy to avoid (A because we don't speak, and B we live so far from each other anyway), and if someone asks a question about our family, or how they treated me, i try my best to ignore the question and change the subject as quickly as it was braught up

with fire, the trick to avoiding it is not look at fireworks through the window, not be in a room that's too hot, and not be near an alarm that remotely sounds like a fire alarm, or a fire engine

and that's what i do for most things (9 times out of 10), just try and avoid them. sometimes it works, sometimes i get the random flashbacks of an insodent and it fails me, but their we go

question:

has anyone formed a friendship with another 1 of your insiders, and if so, how did that work out?. did you tell them about the DID or no

Yes, we had friends that we met at a DID support group, and we had a bunch of insiders who were friends with their insiders too. It worked out fine most of the time but there were hiccups.

Would you like to not have a dissociative disorder?

Karen: It's like I think I freaked everybody out----only because I!ve been freaking out, like try being a teen in an adults body...

Anyhow...just thought I'd say hey you all. I get to wear I want!

So I guess the question then becomes....
what do you most like to wear?

i like wearing red!

red is our absolute fave colour, and everything we do needs to be red

anything that arn't jeans (we hate jeans)

things we can get on and off easily- by that, not many buttons or zips, stuff like that

question:

do you feel you understand your system reasonably well?

natalie

9 times out of 10, what she says, goes (even if the rest of us don't agree)

she our system protector/ leader/ head mistress/ annoying woman

do you have anything in your system that is not a human. (animal, angel, something like that)