questions: dissociative disorders version

I can now. None of us were able to for a long time.

Denial needs to be what it is.
When it is no longer needed
it will no longer be.

Sometimes you can 'use' it. Sometimes when it is we are able to things we are unable to do when denial isn't. If one were *really* spinning the positive on it one could say it is like a vacation... from the hard stuff.

But yeah. Not really.

Have you sometimes hurt things without showing them compassion?

Yes. Yes I have until I connected with them and understood their heart. They are here and were created for a purpose and it freaks me out to find them. When I do, it's a feelings of them. The emotion of their being. Why they are. My feet get clipped out from under me in the moment of the feeling of it. I can't get a sense of what's going on.

Once I get past that point. Gather myself up and pray for wisdom to know how to see it and what that part needs, it's different. It's not scary anymore and the compassion and caring is there. It's heartfelt and painful to feel what that part has inside. There is freedom and understanding when I'm shown the hurt that is there.

I would like to pass the question along. Anyone else?

Still passing the question along for the next person, but answering for me:

Yes, I have hurt without showing compassion, too. This suicidal one now, we have known about her for over 20 years. But it is only these last few weeks that I have connected with her and 'understood her heart'. For a long time we were terrified of her. Then we became eye-rollingly 'tolerant' of her. (That isn't really tolerance, eh.) Both positions still alienated her.
Now we appreciate her. We acknowledge her. And we have such deep compassion for all of the years and years and years of deep dark and lonely depression and suicidal feelings that she took so we didn't have to. That's all she had.
We didn't 'get it' before.

if I have in the past, I really don't remember doing so

probably at some point or another though

what age group are most of your parts (adults, teens, etc)

I'm new so don't really know.
passing on the same question
christine

Forgive me for breaking the flow of the thread! I was reading back over the post from earlier, and I just wanted to ask Yagr a question, if that's ok.

So, am I understanding that you willingly cooperate with that part, that wants to step in, and you step back? When you said that "it may have happened organically if we had continued to push ourselves" it made me think of the times that the zip line has come in and taken me away.

When you cooperate, is that like consciousness? Are you there as a "passenger" and observing/witnessing or do you go away?

Please forgive all the questions! Just trying to sort this out.

Your question did not get answered, I don't think, earlier.

When you ask if there is a show, I'm thinking that you may mean television. I don't watch TV, too much meanness there!

I would like to pass it along to the next person, since I don't have an answer.

Hi Christine. It's nice to meet you!

a lot of us (majority) love game shows

as soon as a new game show starts, we're all over it (we may not like it, but we try it)
anything with ant and dec in too

especially saturday takeaway

fun little show

anyone have a fave quote or saying

My go to quote right now -

"What is denied, cannot be healed."
- Brennan Manning

Passing the question along.

I promise I shall come back and answer this question TR...exhausted, pain, incredibly switchy, etc. right now and don't think I can manage a cogent response. Tried to focus yesterday long enough to do so and couldn't manage it - put it off to today and I am no better today than I was yesterday....but will be and as soon as I am, I'll get right on it.

Please feel better Yagr!! Forgive me for asking so many questions. That is a fault of mine. I truly hope you feel better and are ina good place.

and their is nothing wrong with asking questions!

if you don't ask, you don't get answers.

((((hugs)))

question: when someone does not understand you, how do you try and explain it?, or do you leave it

Nothing to forgive.

Okay with us!

Yes. In fact, the very first piece of clothing I ever bought her was a shirt that said, "Relax - I got this" because so very often that's exactly what she says to me.

There are times that a switch happens like you've described. Most of the time (these days) though, we are co-conscious.

The way we experience switching varies greatly. Let me see if I can give you a breakdown of how it is for us today, keeping in mind that 'how it is for us today' is much different than how it was for us ten years ago. And how it was for us ten years ago was much different than it was twenty years ago, thirty years ago, forty years ago, etc. Okay, so lessee...

Today we are almost always co-conscious. In fact, there are often days in a row, maybe even a week or more, where neither of us experience any amnesia at all. That is not completely true recently as we have been pushing ourselves very hard. Most of the time, when we are not so far past our limits as we've been the last couple of weeks, when we do experience amnesia, it is for very brief periods of time. These last few weeks though, there have been more - most often if one of us goes to sleep or wakes up before the other.

So, regarding the passenger vs observing/witnessing: We describe our inner world as a bus. Sometimes I drive, sometimes Sonseearae drives (and she is an awesome driver). We have a locked room in the bus that starts three seats back behind the driver. If I am driving the bus, Sonseearae might be sitting on my lap, she might be sitting in the seat directly behind me, sitting two seats behind me, three seats behind me or in the back room.

If she's sitting on my lap (or sometimes standing next to me forward of the yellow line you're supposed to stay behind on a bus), She sees and hears everything I do right out the windshield. If she's sitting behind me, she can see more one seat back than she can two or three seats back - but not as much as if she were sitting on my lap. If she chooses to go through the locked door and into the back room, then she can't see or hear anything that I'm experiencing (gone away). Likewise if she is driving. Here's a guess at a breakdown:

I'm driving and she's seated on my lap: 40% of the time.
She's driving and I'm standing next to her: 25% of the time.
I'm driving and she's seated behind the yellow line in one of the seats: 15%
Shes driving and I'm seated behind the yellow line in one of the seats: 10%
She's in the back room: 8%
I'm in the back room: 2%

You are always welcome to ask me anything, in the forum or in PM. If I know the answer I would be happy to share it - or my experience. I'd like to think of you as a friend - please consider me one.

I always try to explain it in a different way. I seem to take on a lot of responsibility to be understood and if I am misunderstood, it is almost a compulsion to keep trying until I say it in a way the other person can understand.

Has anyone found a new part after decades of a stable number in the system?

yeah.

in the past.... maybe 1 or 2 months, discovered 3 new parts (3!)

octavia, olivia and christine

what was the last thing you did to treat yourself

I treated myself to these Sunday. They smell amazing and it felt nice to do something for just me.

What is your favorite flower?

I like roses and lillies

both beautiful

do you like pancakes?

Thank you Yagr, for your time in answering and sharing your experience. It does feel very familiar as I read it.

I will pm you, to keep from mixing into this thread. Thank you, from my heart, for your friendship and the invitation to pm you. It makes me very happy to consider you my friend.

I enjoy cooking pancakes for my family, but I don't eat them. I've cut a lot of carbs out of my diet because of gluten. I did see some on Facebook that were made out of bananas. Thought of giving them a try and see how they turned out.

I like to eat Greek and Japanese food. Along those lines, what type of food do you like?

I have tried them and they work - just whip up some egg with mashed banana and cook as pancake usual They taste pretty good and you can still put maple syrup on the (and bacon and cream if you're into that kinda thing!)

As to the question... I like any kind of food except for spicy. Tonight I had Japanese, yesterday Chinese, Mexican the day before. Tomorrow... Vietnamese, I think. On Sunday I am getting Hungarian from the market.

I am living away from home at the moment and don't have easy access to kitchen facilities. The nearby food court is pretty handy.

Next question:

Have you ever met another person with DID?

TR, your home looks lovely! Is that a rock salt lamp I spy there?

yes i have...a friend i meet through another online forum and we made arrangements to meet when i was traveling to her home town.

do you think you have the ability or sensitivity to spot if a person you briefly met or knew casually was also DID?

Yes... I swear I've spotted a few of them over the years. I don't think it's a hard thing to pick up on at all. If they switch, they're busted I reckon.

But given that some stats say up to 1% of the population have DID, then I also reckon I have missed many, many, many more than I have ever suspected.

I don't have a question so the same one for the next person.