Crying..

[childofchaos831]

So tired of the family dynamics, that are the reason for our DID in the first place... it seems that if we have an idea, any idea, it is automatically stupid and not worth even discussing.

stuff to do (like fix our computer chair, renew our anti virus software, etc)

but right now, honestly can't be bothered with it

why bother with it when we have a tin of chocolate next to us we can binge on

not feeling as bad as expected today (seeing as yesterday we couldn't even grasp it was christmas eve)

we're all looking forward to the muppet's christmas carol. we love it

it's cold today though.. yesterday the winds from storm barbara blew through here really hard (causing us to have memories)

think their's still a bit of the storm left.. we're glad we still have power it was so bad

[Lost_in_the_woods]

In and out. Trying not to lose it completely. OK TRYING being the keyword there. All dressed up with no place to go. And wishing Rockstar☆♡ were here....just depressing and sad. Too disgustingly sad.... time for planB. Comfy pjs, ice cream and trying to read. BAH HUMBUG!
hope everyone else is nestled all snug in their beds with visions of sugar plums dancing in your heads!
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! - Lost

P.s. Happy Birthday Baby Jesus!

[Luce]

Christmas is all done for me. I survived it nasty flashbacks n all. Its good how you can dissociate them again, eh?
A cousin didnt survive it. He died today. I barely knew him. But family is sad. Spose there will be a funeral to get thru now.
I have always been selfish , sorry.

[childofchaos831]

Getting really irritated with family. Nitpicking everything I do. I am never right, and it seems they won't even consider me having a good idea. Really wish I could just go away and let one of the insiders take over, but none of them want to do it either. Nothing outright threatening. Other than emotional stuff. Really getting triggered for destructive behaviors. Just want this week to be over already.

please can christmas finish now, please

yesterday was very difficult for us with memories, at 1 stage of the day we even felt that our mother's X boyfriend was in the roomm with us (it was scary stuff!)

lonely and scared of all the memories today. everywhere we turn it's just memories

please make it stop

[Aardwolf]

Full spin cycle

lost more time yesterday

the moments I was aware of what was going on I felt terrible.

just glad christmas is over now (or at least the day part)

just a few days to recover before new year, which is even worse than christmas (if things can get worse)

oh

alicia was happy though for some of the day, we got her a stuffy puppydog. she loves it

[Aardwolf]

Might as well have a built in Tardis - How can 3 days seem to go on for so long ?!

yesterday, for the first time ever, someone asked me "why do you dissociate?"

*long silence while I thought of something to respond with*

me (eventually), well, when you've been through what I have...

I mean how do you answer such a question from a complete stranger?

feeling depressed today and just want to run away from life

I really need to learn to not watch stuff that triggers us

you'd have thought we'd have got that down by now, but.... clearly not

terrible night

today we're listening to superchick
great album

[Luce]

We have the perfect storm of triggers. There isn't gonna be a way out of this for a while. It's gonna be rocky.

not much happening really in the past few days

yesterday had a telephone assessment with a new therapy thing that opened in our area (though it didn't work out, they said we were too advanced) which we should have probably guessed

violent memories in the afternoon (family)

doing pretty good today, but dreading tomorrow because it's new years eve- and we hate the new year's celebrations.. for us it is such a guilt trip, not to mention all the partying going on

can't believe the week between christmas day and new year's day has passed so quickly

though that's what happens when half the time you're not even aware of what's going on

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Crappy week. If we didn't write I'd never be able to piece it together. emotions, stress, and confusion has been running high here.. Today was not so bad, for me anyway ♡ hoping for another good one tomorrow! ~S

[Claritytoo]

having trouble with anxiety and derealization. I am watching sports but I things around me dont seem real. Its like im a fly on the wall. not a part of the space iam in.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

My goodness! This is quite a sneezing fit, I'm having!

today is new year's eve.

wishing it was over

it's all a guilt trip for me.. about how 2016's been so crap

(which is the same every year, and I never get used to it)

[Lost_in_the_woods]

I'M FREAKING ANGRY! BLAB ABOUT YOUR PART ONLY PLEASE!! I can damn well speaks for my own self...IF I CHOICE TO SHARE! ¤HVK * Mic Drop.

Since we are home, the fems keep trying to switch in. Resistance is futal, lol.

It's hard to get anyrhing done.

our new year's eve was spent being triggered by fireworks, losing time, and feeling guilty over the fact that actually, we didn't get anything accomplished in 2016, and thoughts of us not actually deserving a new year.

(we did have a party dinner yesterday though with sausage rolls and stuff)

and 4 shortbread biscuits

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Feeling a bit short changed today. :/