We woke up with a memory blank.

[Luce]

grumpity grump grump grumpy tired and not happy and stressed and can't get safe or grounded here in this new place. it feels all wrong and nothing is right. dirty. uncomfortable. cramped and messy. the things are all wrong.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

(((Luce)))
hate that feeling too... it's just awful.

feeling much more with it now that the holidays are over.

no christmas, no new year nothing like that.
second of january now and all that crap's behind us

of course, their's still the issue of what we're actually going to do with ourselves to make 2017 worth something, but we'll get to that in time

[Luce]

so overwhelmed. We can't do this.

[bornunderabadsign]

I am tired and in pain from physical problems and so exhausted. I think I'm the only one that is even conscious right now other than the one that doesn't seem to need sleep or sleeps very little. Wish that it wasn't so quiet. Strange how accustomed you get to having chatter in the back ground....

I am finding it hard to consontrate on too much

just gonna give up on trying to get stuff done... not working right now..

I got through yesterday evening without any time loss though. that's a rare thing of beauty

[Lost_in_the_woods]

Yeah. Sleep thought I got that HA! Per usual. Though I went to bed at _× and wake up this morning exhausted not wanting to get up..and got posts on here and texts and calls on my phone and an art project with crayons and markers allover my floor.. (very endearing drawings though)...but yeah no sleep for the wicked!

this song is now stuck in my head now (thanks to starting the day hearing it playing, but it wasn't anywhere)

anyway I thought i'd heard it before, looked the song up and boom

found it

that is now stuck in my head all day. I used to listen to that all the time in the 90's, and I find it weird that i'd start hearing that song if it wasn't even playing

[Luce]

Back on the course, 9-5 study, very overwhelmed as we prepare for exams I feel extremely unprepared for. Yesterday we had two mock exams, today we did three. I have no idea what I am doing and have been triggered and internally losing it. Because, failure.
Our exams are handwritten. Instead of all our other work, which was typed.
I didn't know so many of us were involved in this study thing. Todays essays were all written using four different handwritings. One of those handwritings belongs to our mist suicidal alter, bless her heart. I didn't know she helped us, too...

[L.P.]

Made it thru holidays so yeah. Bonus right there. Uh. Got food yesterday so lots of us less stressed out now. Good day. Even got the drain fixed yesterday so the shower works again.

~Gwen~

[Luce]

I can't do this. I literally cannot do what everyone else can do; what is required of me. The consequences of failure are so far reaching. I am constantly holding back a howl of despair. Trying to write an exam paper while fighting to keep the howling contained. I am too afraid to tell my lecturers because to make failure reality is... the

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Luce

I can't do this. I literally cannot do what everyone else can do; what is required of me. The consequences of failure are so far reaching. I am constantly holding back a howl of despair. Trying to write an exam paper while fighting to keep the howling contained. I am too afraid to tell my lecturers because to make failure reality is... the

* shoulder hug and friend pat on the back *

You can do it! Maybe put the energy of the howl into writing your paper. That works for me sometimes. Redirect it. ?

Don't want to sound like cliquish, I really feel it.

((( hug )))

I wish their was more.

more to life than just sitting here wondering what happened for the past few hours

it gets so.... uggg sometimes.

I feel so worthless compared to a lot of people

[childofchaos831]

Survived the holidays... sober and alive... got annoyed with family and a lot of switching going on, a lot of angry texts and venting/ranting.

But still moving forward, and still trying...

[bornunderabadsign]

I've been going since 4 a.m. today and can finally relax as much as I can. Expecting snow here sometime tomorrow and the children are excited. Went to the clinic and later went to the grocery story. I don't like doctors who are not professional or absent minded. A doctor should be serious and studious. I did not get a good doctor today. Got prescriptions and went to the pharmacy only to return to the clinic because the doctor did not sign the prescription so I had to go back to the clinic to find that the doctor was out to lunch. He didn't return for two hours. Returned to the Pharmacy and waited because everyone wanted to get their Rx before the snow storm that is projected to occur tomorrow. The grocery store was a mad house. Today was a productive and yet still tense day.

[Luce]

Bluggerbluggerblog. had a week of exams. have another week of exams next week. and then the for-real exams the week after that.
Do you know what has been really interesting?? Well we have to hand right our exams. and we did not know it but we have four people who are doing them!!! we have two exams a day. some are just written by one of us but some have four different handrightings in them!! I hope they don't think we are cheating. we aren't!! we stay in the room and right like everybody else. it is very hard for us and we are struggling allot. but when we got some papers back they said we did it right. it doesn't feell like we are doing it right. we feel like we have no idea what we are doing. but it is the weekend now and we don't have any exams for two whole days and I get to come out fiiiiinaaaaalllly!!!!

recovering.

yesterday I really didn't think what I was doing, and ended up eating raw burger and chips

well.... rough night last night- not only because of no sleep, but feeling sick every 10/ 15 minits... not fun

[Luce]

Oh dear Atlantis peoples, what was going on that made you eat raw burger and chips? Were they at least partially coiked, or were they literally raw?

Originally Posted by Luce

Oh dear Atlantis peoples, what was going on that made you eat raw burger and chips? Were they at least partially coiked, or were they literally raw?

I don't know

yesterday was actually pretty muchh weird.

1 moment ben and holly's little kingdom was on tv, next we were throwing up raw burger and chips

ugg so strange

feel like i've lost time this morning, but not sure

seems a little gap somewhere

I wish I could feel something beyond despair

just another **** day... and another day I'm expected to act like everything's normal.

it gets old fast. it really does

We hate being the drinker, but we don't want to leave the house so there really isn't stuff we want to do other than try to go unconscious.

[bornunderabadsign]

Lost some time last night for some reason. Don't really know what triggered it. Slept most of the day and then have been kinda weird since.

1 of our friends we talk to on email is back from her christmas vacation with her boyfriend.

can't wait to ask her how it all went and what she got up to