[catman8989]

Trying to fight what's real and what isn't.

[Luce]

See new t for third time tomorrow. do I even bother to tell her I have DID? She doesn't have an effing clue what it is anyway. it all seems pretty pointless really.

we're feeling pretty positive.

tonight someone on another website would like to talk to us in private chat and get to know us, all of us. we spoke to her before and she wants to help.

(this is on the same site that, a few days ago, we dissed on yet another forum)

[Luce]

The new t is a complete waste of time. She has no freaking clue. Yes I am grumpy. we were going to tell her about DID today but she is so dumb we didn't bother. how can a t be so dumb???? its so frustrating cos we are in such a bad place and time matters!!! but we can't see the lady who might be able to help us til the end of November, and we cant even find out if that novermber t knows about dissociation cos the stupid t cant even get the words right to ask her!!!!!! wh ydoes she have to be so dumb???

and that stupid stupid t was asking ME questions about things I dont know anything about but she is so stupid I couldn't even tell her she was asking the wrong person all I could do was look dumb. I tell her I dissociate and she says so how does this disassociation affect you and I wanna yell at her disassociation doesn't affect me you dumbass I keep telling you that!!!

we watched stuart little again

that movie brings us to tears, in a good and bad way at the same time. if we want a good cry, we watch stuart little

well another crap weekend over I guess... same old struggles, same lack of support and the week starts on... wait for it, yes, another night with no sleep.

I guess things could be worse. at least we're not feeling too suicidal today, (yet)

not the greatest week so far

we feel like we've lost about 3 or 4 months? (well, we've not, we posted here what was it... sunday, I think?. or did we post here monday)

anyway that explains our absense from the forum yesterday- we were so confused

no sleep and being anxious about everything that happens to cross our path

not so much suicidal, though we have started looking in to people to talk to about final requests/ funeral arangements (we did that before, but had to stop)

better luck this time, I guess

[Claritytoo]

I started working working for a seasonal position at a place I worked for before. Even though the pay is **** I think the structure and familiarity is having a positive effect on our system. For the last few years we have felt unreal. This job is helping us to feel like we are in the world again

it's not even the end of october yet, and we're struggling with god dam fireworks outside our window (we wish we could ban fireworks, we'll post a thread about it)

in turn it's made us anxious and unsure about stuff

[Luce]

We hate fireworks and firework season too. Here they only sell them from the 1st of Nov, but they go on for weeks afterwards. I hate them for different reasons tho. Must be so awful when they are a trigger for you. Sorry you have to deal with that.

Originally Posted by Luce

We hate fireworks and firework season too. Here they only sell them from the 1st of Nov, but they go on for weeks afterwards. I hate them for different reasons tho. Must be so awful when they are a trigger for you. Sorry you have to deal with that.

and what do you do to drown them out?

or how do you cope with them

give us some tips..?

[Luce]

Noise cancelling earphones blasting personal fave loud music works best for us.

we do need to look in to getting some noise canceling earphones

honestly, we don't currently own a single pair- we need to change that.

barely a productive weekend

half of it (at least friday afternoon and saturday afternoon) are lost

we did hear some more fireworks, but not as much as before (but we know that's going to change pretty soon since the actual day is aproaching)

but yeah... really nothing interesting or stable happening

morning not so bad. did most of our rooteen without much trouble

but now natalie is about. I don't think this good feeling will last much longer

[Claritytoo]

went to session today. had very hard time still foggy in the head. my t wants me to work on my little ones trying to get more communication. thats a good idea. i don't know how it will go but im sure my t has some ideas. right now i have to get ready to go to work. i had to take a pill or i don't think i could leave the house. im still not sure i will leave the house. there is something wrong in my head but i don't know what it is. its made everything a mess inside.

[Claritytoo]

I just checked my schedule and I don't have work today THANK GOD.

[Aardwolf]

You know the bit where the others leave the notes, to the other others, so the others know what the others have been doing ?

Yeah, someone lost it today...

Originally Posted by ACQPL

You know the bit where the others leave the notes, to the other others, so the others know what the others have been doing ?

Yeah, someone lost it today...

did you want to talk about what happened?

you don't have to

we experienced the classic... what day is it?. both yesterday and today

yesterday we thought it was sunday, and today we thought it was thursday- until we checked the date.. tuesday october 25th

still not feeling quite right though it being a tuesday

[Aardwolf]

Quite a rational feeling of terror. At least we know why this time.

Originally Posted by ACQPL

Quite a rational feeling of terror. At least we know why this time.

((((((hugs)))))

yesterday we saw someone.

well, we don't actually know if we did or not.

still trying to decide if it was a helusination, or if the person was actually real (has that ever happened to anyone else?)

apart from that pretty calm

trying not to start on our new bag of candy. sooo tempting though

[Aardwolf]

We are all really cold today. We let so many people down this week & are sad and ashamed.

Originally Posted by ACQPL

We are all really cold today. We let so many people down this week & are sad and ashamed.

((((hugs)))

I hope things get better

[Scotch]

Originally Posted by ACQPL

We are all really cold today. We let so many people down this week & are sad and ashamed.