Alters identifying themselves?

My therapist keeps wanting alters to identify themselves in some way so she can get an understanding of what each part needs and how to help them. Whenever she asks it is very very triggering. She seems to be stuck on this point. Is it necessary for the parts to announce themselves to her?

Hey Amyjay,

It took a while for me before anyone came out but my therapist was understanding and patient and worked on stuff specific to me until others felt comfortable coming out.

In the long run, it'll probably be beneficial for your therapist to get to know everyone so she can better support you, but she definitely shouldn't be pushing for them to all identify themselves at the expense of your comfort.

If she has experience working with DID, she should know that it will take time for everyone to learn to feel comfortable working with her and it's not something she can rush. I would definitely let her know if she's pushing your boundaries.

only you, your treatment provider and your alters can say whether it is necessary for you and your alters to tell your treatment provider anything about you and your alters.

each treatment provider I saw/see has their own rules and boundaries, some did require me and my alters to differentiate between each other and others did not.

let me show you something....

my talking with a treatment provider.

me...yea everything is going great , Im settling in to my new job location.
therapist... Have you had any more problems with co worker xyz? (this triggers a switch into an alter)
Alter oh yea hes a creep for sure, he did this that and the other thing and I told him if he didnt leave me alone ...
therapist ---- wait a minute I thought you just told me everything is going great and you are settling into your new job?
Alter... no I didnt Im still working at the tasty freeze.
Therapist ... ok I must be missing something here I thought you just got a job with Mcdonalds (this triggers a switch into the alter that works at mcdonalds
Alter... oh yea I do. and man the burgers sizzle on that grill. did you know that....

by now the therapist is totally confused and wondering whether client is having a psychotic break down, schizophrenic or totally manic with about 3-4 part time jobs.

now take the same situation with everyone identifying their self

me...yea everything is going great , Im settling in to my new job location.
therapist... Have you had any more problems with co worker xyz? (this triggers a switch into an alter)
Alter oh yea hes a creep for sure, he did this that and the other thing and I told him if he didnt leave me alone ...
therapist and you are?
Alter... oh I forgot to say my name didnt I sorry its Alexandra
therapist ... hi alexandra do you think there might have been a better way to handle this situation instead punching the guy?
Alex... yea but it was more satisfying lol I dont put up with it like Terry does.
Terry... yea I dont like to start trouble, Terry here by the way
Therapist... hi Terry now you work at the Tasty Freeze right?
Terry yea the benefits are horrid but the food is great. Unlike Mcdonalds.
Alter... og give me a break theres nothing wrong with mcdonalds, Pat here.
Therapist ... Hi Pat whats your favorite meal at Mcdonalds
Pat... i like the cheeseburger kids meal you get a toy with that.

this is why some of my treatment providers set the rule of identifying one self sometimes. Saves a lot of confusion and being able to follow the conversation with out jumping to conclusions that maybe the client is having a psychotic breakdown or something.

Is the therapist in doubt of what an alter is? Isn't a different attitude feelings on a topic good enough maybe just identify converse to the sitaution. I think you may need to go half way with her also. If you feel safe too instead of seeming resistant. A name isnt needed use a key term like the main idea emotions displayed here etc.

Have you described them to your T. The ones you know anyways. I am new to the whole DID thing but as I learn of new Alters I will tell my T what I call them. Sometimes I don't even have a name for them I just describe an attitude or a personality that kind of takes over me. He always says that he's willing to talk to any of them when they're ready but he never pushes it. He just says in general that he's open to listening to whoever wants to talk but he would never pressure me. Maybe just give him a little bit of information about the ones you know maybe that will get him off your back. He also tells ask me if I know what a certain alter wants or needs sometimes they will tell me and I will relay it to him but other ones won't talk and I just tell him I don't know yet. I know he wants to know so that he can help us. One of my alters really had a dislike for my T and when I told him that the alter didn't like him because he was trying to make me better and get rid of him my T was able to clear things up and explain that he does not want to get rid of the alter. It's a mean alter and that really helped. Ever since my T said that I have not been getting the static and the constant cursing in sessions from the mean alter. He seems to understand that T doesn't want to get rid of him any longer and has calmed down quite a bit.

mine do not usually come out and talk to my therapist. if they do, i don't realize it until later, and the therapist i don't think is able to figure out when they do either because it is so subtle and/or happens so fast.

i usually have to share with her what they feel, think, etc. as they come up. but it's not really necessary, in my opinion, for them to come out and talk to your therapist. mine is encouraging me to talk to mine and do a lot of the work like that on my own since they don't come out and talk to her. so, it's not always necessary for them to talk to a therapist. you can talk to them too even if you don't get a response.

mine do not feel safe overall to just jump out and start talking. it takes specific things, triggers, them wanting to, etc. in order for them to come out and make themselves a bit more known. but they tend to stay more in the background/inside and/or blend with me/each other at times...because it's all about protection of me, them, everyone, etc., so it's not 'safe' per se to just come out and talk.

if your therapist is overly pushy with wanting to get to know them, that would be a red flag for me. she has to earn their trust before they will. and if she doesn't, it's not that likely they will want to talk to her.

My alters do come out in therapy but she says they won't tell her who they are. She has been making a list of the alters that have come up and writes down what we all know about them. But when the alters switch in during therapy she says they won't tell her who they are in person and she needs them to tell her so she can help them. She keeps bringing this up over and over.
It feels like it is too terrifying for them to say who they are. I can talk about them easily and they can talk about each other too, they seem to be happy to talk to her as well, but they don't seem to want or be able to say "I am ____" when they front in therapy and that is what she wants them to do.
Yesterdays session just feels awful on the whole, like I am too resistant and too evasive and too dumb for her to help. I think she might have been feeling frustrated and helpless. As well as being excited about her holiday. I was so triggered at the end of therapy I couldn't even really move and she was yelling my name at me to get me to respond. Then she stood up and made another appointment for me and I said bye and left like a zombie.
I have another appointment in three weeks but I don't feel like going back, it just doesn't feel safe at all.

I just don't want to go back at all. I am done with this I think. It isn't safe and it isn't helpful and it makes everything hurt.

I'm so sorry you are experiencing this! I've left my counselor's office before feeling like a zombie too. It's kind of like a dream driving home.

As I've found (or they found me) my parts, they usually don't trust anyone, including me. I don't push and neither does my counselor. My parts are very resistant to "pushing" and can very easily perceive it as being in trouble. If that makes sense. My 12 year old part first saw my counselor as a threat. I heard it very clearly. At my next appointment, I shared with him what the 12yo thought and said. He actually thought it was funny, and we both laughed. The 12yo doesn't see him as a threat anymore. There is actually trust there.

My counselor will ask me a question and if I don't have the ability to give him an answer, he always tells me that it's ok. There is no pressure and we move on. Eventually, the answer usually comes.

I'm sorry that you don't feel safe with her anymore. Maybe if you explain how it makes you feel when she is trying to push you she may understand. She may not know how it is affecting you and how it makes you feel.

My T has expressed interest in meeting them, he said he suspects I have others who have not come out yet and that they'd be in a safe place if they ever decided to come-- but there isn't any pressure. I do know when I "try" to talk someone into coming right on the spot, all hell breaks loose. For the ones he met, it took many open invitations from him and a lot of "look _____, T is safe and he cares about us" convos at home from me.

I would be triggered if he asked them explicitly to identify themselves too. I think that is the thing about switching, we (I) do it often subconsciously to escape a situation as quietly as possible. To identify the alter goes directly against that.

This is scary reading....it makes me winces. Just the idea of having someone call out a name to trigger them to present....which would happen to us....it feels so violating...and like under someone elses control.

So telling our names is so so freaking hairy scary....so easy to be played with.

Good luck with this.

Oh my goodness, I hope my alters don't come across like this but I worry sometimes, my t looks so confused.
Thanks I was trying to figure out if it is something that happens to others or not, just to see other peoples experiences.

Thank you for this, my instinct is to not go back and see her again but she is away for three weeks anyway and I might feel differently by then. I will try and talk to her about it.

Yes my alters seem to be very subtle about it too. i know I lose time most every session with my T so others must be coming out. I get a very strong sense that they doin't like to be identified in person although they seem to be okay with sharing information about each other?? I really don't know how this all works it just happens!

I would not want anyone to call them out ever. That isn't what she wants though she just wants them to say who they are when they show up. They come out and talk to her quite okay I think but when she asks them their names they won't say and she says we need to find a way to let her know who she is talking to. I hope she never tries to call them out on purpose i have trouble enough when they show up uninvited!

It would take a ton of trust here. We worked in secret (even to us-selves), seamlessly, and without recognition....so having a name isn't neccessary...some has chosen...the fuller personalities or mains....

There so many, some still goes nameless or are named after the job they do.

It is so very so crazy of therapist to stalk this without an understanding from those present. I'm calling for a name a call forth. If the therapist actually listens to what precedes this even if from the passive influence it can get a general idea of who might be out front and near. Mainly you want respect, to go it at apace that is comfortable so that you don't loose too much control that will dissipate as you and system gets comfortable.