morning's just vanished.

12 34 in the afternoon and we're wondering where the morning went- and who was out.

we don't really know

[TrailRunner14]

Well.

Again.

I’ve said this too many times here.

This place sucks!!

There are things that are more real now.

So there’s that.

For the past few nights I’ve set out to numb myself.

Nothing major, Yuengling isn’t hard but it isn’t hard enough to get me to numb like I wanted.

I talked to my h about where I’m at.

I journaled today, freely, and it found me.

He heard me and didn’t judge me.

There’s still no feeling of mattering to anyone. He heard me but it was just listening and not a heart connection.

He left me here to have some time to myself and that is so not what I wanted.

I did want to heard and I wanted to be comforted.

I KNOW that’s not going to happen but it’s what I’ve wanted always.

To matter.

I know that what I feel that I cannot see is real.

That’s staggering.

I wish it wasn’t so but my heart tells me it is.

What do I do with that?

I don’t know.

That is the true question of the real healing.

Right?

It is late and maybe the Yuengling had a beneficial effect.

I think I’m sleepy.

I’m rambling but thank you for hearing me.

Originally Posted by TrailRunner14

Well.

Again.

I’ve said this too many times here.

This place sucks!!

There are things that are more real now.

So there’s that.

For the past few nights I’ve set out to numb myself.

Nothing major, Yuengling isn’t hard but it isn’t hard enough to get me to numb like I wanted.

I talked to my h about where I’m at.

I journaled today, freely, and it found me.

He heard me and didn’t judge me.

There’s still no feeling of mattering to anyone. He heard me but it was just listening and not a heart connection.

He left me here to have some time to myself and that is so not what I wanted.

I did want to heard and I wanted to be comforted.

I KNOW that’s not going to happen but it’s what I’ve wanted always.

To matter.

I know that what I feel that I cannot see is real.

That’s staggering.

I wish it wasn’t so but my heart tells me it is.

What do I do with that?

I don’t know.

That is the true question of the real healing.

Right?

It is late and maybe the Yuengling had a beneficial effect.

I think I’m sleepy.

I’m rambling but thank you for hearing me.

I know how you feel.

when we were first given the suggestion of trying the samaratans, we were under high hopes of a connection and for people to listen to us and understand us.

the few times we did use them... well we didn't feel like that.

listen to us, maybe.

care, hard to tell

connect with us... certainly not.

it was almost like talking to a robot (I'm sorry to those of you who have had positive experience with them), but it wasn't for us.

we've had it with chrisis lines too- with one conversation going something like..

operator: what do you like?

us: watching cartoons

her: go watch cartoons then, bye

we know how you feel and we're sorry you are feeling this way

we're having a high anxiety day today.

lots going on in our area.. new woman moving in and it's caused quite a lot of anxiety

well.

we've put an end to our arguments about food once and for all.

we're going to make a system (sort of like a spinny arrow), that has 10 food choices on it (the 10 foods we like most)

and where ever it stops on that day, well, that's what we're going to have.

sounds good, right?

just gotta make it over the weekend, get the supplies and stuff

no sleep again last night.

absolutely none- not even any rest

feeling a little sick today.... yesterday's food didn't turn out that great, and made us feel a little unwell

hot too, so going to open the window for a little while

[Fuzzybear]

I can’t hang out on some other forum where they talk about meds in every post if I could take meds without being violently sick I’d be most grateful growl

[Amyjay]

I am feeling sad for people who do things just to spite another person, especially when they know the answers already. Life is too precious to make more hurting. There's been enough pain for everyone already.
My wish for all the people who need to do that is for them to have peace.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I can’t hang out on some other forum where they talk about meds in every post if I could take meds without being violently sick I’d be most grateful growl

i'M sorry fuzzy.

we used to be on another forum too, and for the life of us can't find it

shame, it was a real good D.I.D one

we just had breakfast.

now time to make our daily postings..

we have a feeling that the clocks went forward yesterday (the forum time is acting all weird)

of course, we didn't really sleep.

so we don't know

Kid moved in and was all right till he messed with me last night. Told him to stop over and over about a stupid phone cord, but he laughingly persisted. He triggered the Angry One and now he thinks that I was the jerk. He needs to leave, this can’t happen in this apartment.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

i'M sorry fuzzy.

we used to be on another forum too, and for the life of us can't find it

shame, it was a real good D.I.D one

I had the same problem recently. I found out some interesting news about a possible reason many forums/ message boards are closing recently. States are now catching up with the internet by enacting laws governing message board activities. Used to be there were no cyber laws around what can happen on message boards/ forums. the result criminal activity goes on like predators using them to run their trafficking and obtain innocent victims. now with the new laws being enacted those that now don't meet their states internet forum laws are shutting down or shutting down certain areas of their websites. example Craigs List is shutting down their dating /personals section, because of the new laws. I know of three other Mental health forums that are now tagged with a "closed for review and construction as we review our new laws and make sure our site conforms to the new laws just enacted"

other sites when I contacted either the admins or the service provider they stated the site was re named or moved to a new domain.

my point give it some time, the site you are missing may re appear some day bigger or better.

[cool09]

I've felt more attached to myself since my long depression lifted last month. I don't feel so unreal. I still have to put this derealization to rest with a therapist because it's a horrifying feeling. The medication is making me agitated and putting me in a bad place.

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I had the same problem recently. I found out some interesting news about a possible reason many forums/ message boards are closing recently. States are now catching up with the internet by enacting laws governing message board activities. Used to be there were no cyber laws around what can happen on message boards/ forums. the result criminal activity goes on like predators using them to run their trafficking and obtain innocent victims. now with the new laws being enacted those that now don't meet their states internet forum laws are shutting down or shutting down certain areas of their websites. example Craigs List is shutting down their dating /personals section, because of the new laws. I know of three other Mental health forums that are now tagged with a "closed for review and construction as we review our new laws and make sure our site conforms to the new laws just enacted"

other sites when I contacted either the admins or the service provider they stated the site was re named or moved to a new domain.

my point give it some time, the site you are missing may re appear some day bigger or better.

I don't think it's missing, I just..... lost contact with it, shall we say

think we switched computers or something and just forgot about it

we are feeling good today.

actually we're about to go get our dinner from the shop.

hamburger tonight..

Got a front left incisor cavity= pain. Drill and fill tomorrow I hope.

Just opened a notebook app with like 10 books in it....

Ummm...scared to open them and read, but will do. Have to.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Just opened a notebook app with like 10 books in it....

Ummm...scared to open them and read, but will do. Have to.

How come?

[TrailRunner14]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I can’t hang out on some other forum where they talk about meds in every post if I could take meds without being violently sick I’d be most grateful growl

Meds don’t help me in any way. I seem to have an opposite reaction to them so I’ve never considered them to be helpful.

I have found essential oils to help me very much.

I was very skeptical until I tried them but they are really helpful to me.

Originally Posted by Amyjay

How come?

I hate looking at what another alter may have wrote...its just plain creepy... a reminder to of how not well are we, like concrete evidence.

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

I hate looking at what another alter may have wrote...its just plain creepy... a reminder to of how not well are we, like concrete evidence.

Ah ok, yes I hear you. I feel the same way about reading things mine have written too.
I thought you meant actual books published by authors. I don't know what a notebook app is. I'm technologically challenged.

[Claritytoo]

So my house was auctioned off today. I don't know who bought it. I am just hoping my son can stay in the house until the weather warms. He said he is going to live in his car. I am hoping he changes his mind. But I know he doesn't have enough money to pay for a room. I don't know what to do. I just don't know

[cool09]

Afraid I'm going to enter derealization again. No Dr. will listen to me about it.

[Loose Screw x 2]

We are pleased to announce that we found a supportive Facebook group that recognizes some of our symptoms as genuine DID symptoms and made our host feel very welcome and comforted.