[stahrgeyzer]

Our system is feeling better since Cayla started co-fronting. We're trying to stabilize, focus on the present, watching youtube videos of happy people. Cayla & Host

need to focus more on the present.
I don't do enough of that

I had mcdonalds yesterday. yum...

yesterday I saw a comercial for a shop I have never been to in my life

and now, even though I don't need anything from their, I really want to go their

I guess just for the experience of going their..

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling sad. My therapist just texted me saying I need more intensive care than what she can give me. She's still wants to give me therapy, but only until we can find the appropriate place for me. This is my 3rd therapist and I'm very tired of being tossed off to the next person. Sometimes life just really sucks!

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Feeling sad. My therapist just texted me saying I need more intensive care than what she can give me. She's still wants to give me therapy, but only until we can find the appropriate place for me. This is my 3rd therapist and I'm very tired of being tossed off to the next person. Sometimes life just really sucks!

I am so sorry, stahrgeyzer!! Please hang in there! This might turn out ok. Tell her how this feels. OK?

[stahrgeyzer]

Thanks Breaking Dawn. I'll tell her.

it feels good that for once in my life my email inbox has a reasonable amount of emails.

so bad at deleting them after I've finished them

[stahrgeyzer]

Today is therapy. I need to ask her why. People with more trauma have therapist. Why can they have a therapist and I can’t?

[stahrgeyzer]

I learned a trick. When I get depressed or suicidal I focus on little Paul. He comes out smiling and happy.

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling ok. Therapist wants to find me an IOP group therapy that meets like 3 hours a day every day. She said it's not a good idea for me to have 2 therapists at once. Once the IOP therapy is finished we can have normal weekly therapist.

[Breaking Dawn]

Sounds good, stahrgeyzer!

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

I learned a trick. When I get depressed or suicidal I focus on little Paul. He comes out smiling and happy.

we have little alisha for that

she likes to be called leesh which I always found cute...

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

I learned a trick. When I get depressed or suicidal I focus on little Paul. He comes out smiling and happy.

That's great I have a cub like that too

[stahrgeyzer]

Bears are cute. A lady once told me my animal protectors are bears and otters. Not sure what means.

I like psychiatrist. They get right to the point and drug you up.

Letuda, no more abilify.

How did it get to be Tuesday?

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Bears are cute. A lady once told me my animal protectors are bears and otters. Not sure what means.

I like psychiatrist. They get right to the point and drug you up.

Letuda, no more abilify.

How did it get to be Tuesday?

I was just saying to someone it felt like a thursday

I don't know.

stomach ache again because food didn't agree with me.

I seriously can't go on like this..

[stahrgeyzer]

@raging vortex
Spicy foods? I had to stop eating spicy food & hot sauce. I love hot sauce but the stomach pains during the night was bad. And too much ice cream because diabetes runs in the family along with high cholesterol. What's left? Broccoli & carrots?

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

@raging vortex
Spicy foods? I had to stop eating spicy food & hot sauce. I love hot sauce but the stomach pains during the night was bad. And too much ice cream because diabetes runs in the family along with high cholesterol. What's left? Broccoli & carrots?

oh no, just normal food. I have a ****ed up digestive system, I guess

and don't get me started on spicy food. my body hates it- well, I can tolerate a little bit of spice, but nothing too much.. plenty of bad experiences as far as spice is concerned

[Breaking Dawn]

I love enchiladas. (But no hot sauce.)

we started a new kids show today called kangaroo beach.

boing boing boing boing boing boing boing boing

I like roos. going to bounce on the bed later

[stahrgeyzer]

Sounds fun. I'm already age sliding

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling ok but surprised it’s Wednesday.

BTW does anyone else see a purple dot when they close their eyes? I always see it.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Feeling ok but surprised it’s Wednesday.

BTW does anyone else see a purple dot when they close their eyes? I always see it.

Purple is a beautiful color. But in case it's something in the eyes, maybe see an optometrist, just to be on the safe side. When I close my eyes I see images like I'm having a dream. Some of them are unpleasant so I try to keep my eyes open. But sometimes I'm just too tired & I can't keep them open & I wish those images would stop. Something else in the brain is doing that, maybe for a reason. Another thing I thought of, in relation to your purple dot, is that when I have meditated sometimes I would eventually see the 3rd eye in the center of my inner sight. It's common & real as can be.

[stahrgeyzer]

That’s interesting that it might be a 3rd eye. Who knows. I wonder what my therapist would say.

Today I’m finally going to get my CT scan. I’ll be radioactive. They say you can get copies of the CT scan images. That kind of sounds scary to see my brain.

good luck- hope that all goes well!