[Claritytoo]

Hi I ended up on a psych ward and was there for 13 days. I had a reaction to steroids from my cancer treatment. I became psychotic. Now I'm home and not doing well. The dr there put me on an anti psychotic. I'm not psychotic. I am going to ween myself off but it seem it will take over a month. I am having feelings of anger. This is not a normal part of our system. This anger feels unpredictable like I might say something mean to my sister. I would never say something mean to her. Also I am having a lot of sexual feelings. This was a part of our system when I was in my 30s and 40s. I did not make good choices during this time. I want to get help but I don't know a doc that will understand my system.

[stahrgeyzer]

I’m tired of thinking I have DID. Just because I have missing time and hear people inside me isn’t proof. Maybe it’s dissociation & BPD or Schizoaffective. BPD threads are inactive so I’ll be posting in the Schizoaffective threads. Maybe I’ll be back.

[stahrgeyzer]

I forgot. Also I have erratic personality changes and sudden changes to being the child within. It calls itself little Paul. Uggggg I hate this

[Breaking Dawn]

I have been dissociating way too much. And I am apparently going backwards much of the time.

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling good lately even though today my psychiatrist took me off wellbutrin because he learned that I had two non-epileptic seizures last year. Oops, I never told him about that before.

Anyhow it's fine. It will be nice to feel emotions again.

Next Tuesday I see the neurologist about my CT scan and EEG results.

[stahrgeyzer]

BTW little Paul changed our profile picture. Looks like a children bear cartoon. Little Paul is our source of happiness so it's all good.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

BTW little Paul changed our profile picture. Looks like a children bear cartoon. Little Paul is our source of happiness so it's all good.

I have a care bear movie dvd. All the care bears have names & they are so sweet & adorable.

[stahrgeyzer]

@Breaking Dawn thanks for the info. The care bears sound very positive and perhaps could bring out the little inner child in all of us.

[darkpurplesecrets]

Haven't posted in a long time, struggling today and feeling very sad and alone. Just reaching out silently.....................breathing and taking time minute by minute.

dps

[stahrgeyzer]

Little Paul fronted for a few seconds, saw his care bear profile picture, and then got so happy when he saw Poohbah below our user name. I have no idea how that got there or what it means, but it sounds cute. Maybe little Paul put it there?

[Breaking Dawn]

I've been dissociated off & on every day for quite a while. I'm confused sometimes, like things feel unfamiliar to me, as if I'm new.

[Fuzzybear]

hugs and respect to all

[Fuzzybear]

I have some care bears but someone says I do not 'deserve'' them

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by darkpurplesecrets

Haven't posted in a long time, struggling today and feeling very sad and alone. Just reaching out silently.....................breathing and taking time minute by minute.

dps

Welcome back dps, you have been missed

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Little Paul fronted for a few seconds, saw his care bear profile picture, and then got so happy when he saw Poohbah below our user name. I have no idea how that got there or what it means, but it sounds cute. Maybe little Paul put it there?

she likes care bears

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I have a care bear movie dvd. All the care bears have names & they are so sweet & adorable.

I have most of the care bears I think

but no dvd i don't like those

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

I've been dissociated off & on every day for quite a while. I'm confused sometimes, like things feel unfamiliar to me, as if I'm new.

I have a friend (not here) who has DID, I am pretty sure she has forgotten who I am. She is still polite and even friendly if I write to her but from her posts... I don't know her

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

BTW little Paul changed our profile picture. Looks like a children bear cartoon. Little Paul is our source of happiness so it's all good.

I've been giving Lucy some time even though some haters said she doesn't exist. Papa bear (my husband) is beginning to get it, he has watched her play. Most of the time she is too sad to play.

It's only taken 3 abusive/incompetent therapists to ''help'' me. The services are ''inadequate'' here

[stahrgeyzer]

Our system's in a lot of pain lately which is why lucky me is out. Hello world. And they say we're supposed to hide, according the boss, Hal. Love you Hal. Hello Paul. I'm real. Shhh. Your friendly prosecutor, big Sam. Why am I writing this? Because I'm sick and tired of the host flip flopping back and forth saying we're a figment of his imagination unless we write Paul a message. He takes antipsychotic pills to get rid of us. The writings on the wall, Paul.

I'll surely regret writing this.

[stahrgeyzer]

Love you big Paul.

DID is a real thing. Some people have it and for a good reason.

I'm just tired of hiding and being treated like I'm not real. Sorry if I sound angry. I'm really upset.

Sam

[stahrgeyzer]

Can someone please tell us what we can do? About a dozen of us alters wrote messages on paper for Paul months ago. Cayla, Darold and I fronted for his psychologist Marc Borkheim who diagnosed us with DID. Yet he canceled our DID therapy and still denies our existence. How can we help the host?

Sam

[Breaking Dawn]

Dissociative disorders take various forms, & they seem like such a puzzle. I don't know what or where I am sometimes. Things seem to be unraveling.

[stahrgeyzer]

@Breaking Dawn you're right. If there's one thing I've learned about DID from watching videos is every system is different.

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

Little Paul fronted for a few seconds, saw his care bear profile picture, and then got so happy when he saw Poohbah below our user name. I have no idea how that got there or what it means, but it sounds cute. Maybe little Paul put it there?

@stahrgeyzer, the Poohbah under your user name represents your number of posts listed below the avatar space. It's a title that says the level you're at & it changes when you reach a certain number of posts. I'm sorry, I forgot where this information is located. I recently got changed to Elder.

[Breaking Dawn]

P.S. @stahrgeyzer, I just found where the information is: Go to Site Navigation & click on the 3 bars beside it. Then click on FAQ/Help. Then click on What is a "Premier Poohbah"..... There's lots of information there.