I HATE ME (my did) Tonight - :(

!@()*!#&^ !@)*^^ !(&&^ !)(&$ !)*(&&$(!&* (78#&&$@_ )!*#&$(!)__

I HATE MY DID TONIGHT......... as I (or my last alter) opened up a Pandora box Monday night that should have remained closed (I think) and now I have lost the me I had been for the last six months or so and I want her back........ as she was more open to new things, care free, less emotional and sexually some thing....... I am so confused and angry at her loss.

With the opening of this Pandora Box has come much deep rooted doubt and confusion toward my husband and I hate having those feelings..... What have I done?

HELP!! HELP!! HELP!!

I HATE being TWO in ONE - as we hold different views and opinions in every thing that matters in Life.

=( (((((((((rhapsody))))))))))
perhaps there is a reason
perhaps this one will be back soon?

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Kiya said:
perhaps this one will be back soon?

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I sure hope so - as I like being her over the two that remain...... and sadly I still do not know which one is the real me - the one that was born a human child.

And I have to say that the change between these two creates stress, loss of love and doubt in my marriage when it happens......

* * * * * * * *

Poor hubby - he has no ideal what is behide this sudden change in me, and I do not tell him as he does not like talking about my DID.

(((((((((RHAPSODY)))))))))))
Sorry you are having such a hard time right now.
I sure hope it eases up soon.

BJ

(((hugs))))

opening the "box" is so hard... I know..

((((((((Rhapsody))))))))

sorry i don't have any advice for you...except hang in there...and know we all care about you...and hope things get better for you soon.

Rhapsody, sit him down and tell him " it's not me, it's my dx, give me time and it will work it's self out but for know I need you to help me through this"
this has always helped me and hubby

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrg

((((((((Rhapsody)))))))

pm me if you want

Just thought I would try and share some of the reason I HATE MY DID - and to share How Hard it is at Times.

You can see from my list it is awful trying to live a life that always plays out two different POV on everything you hold dear (and) with not knowing which one is YOU.

One - believes in God and Spirituality
The Other - can take it or leave it and questions His existence.

One - does not care for Porn for she has seen and felt the pain of it first hand
The Other - likes to get turned on by it from time to time (in private)

One - likes people and loves to be around them
The Other - finds people a nuisance and hates to have them around

One - wants to work and enjoy life
The Other - hides away at home and likes her privacy

One - is strong and independent
The Other - is often shy and scared when out of the house

* * * * * * * * * *

How am I to COPE with these Constant Changes in my Life & Marriage..........

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Rhapsody said:
How am I to COPE with these Constant Changes in my Life & Marriage..........

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Anyone?

I wish I had some answers. All of you is important. It is hard that they are all so different but that is also what helps make you so wonderful. I don't know what to suggest but try and love and cherish each part of you.

BB