Dangerous Alts

TRIGGER on this. Don't read if triggered by violence/suicide. Trigger trigger.

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What do you do when you have a suicidal alt? I have an alt, I don't know how old he is but I know he's a kid, and a few days ago, he wrote me a suicide note and a diagram of where I should cut to die.

Next thing, I'll refrain from description because I don't want to be graphic, but I had to go to hospital because he cut my neck. Had to spend a couple of nights there. I'm really lucky it didn't land me in psych ward (and a little surprised, because this is the second time my neck has been cut, but first time was a bit back and it was myself).

I don't know what to do, he cut my neck, they had to stitch it up and now I'm in bed-rest. I'm being watched all the time now so it won't happen again, but I'm really scared. He's just a kid and he did that.

I have too much internal fighting going on. I don't know how to sort any of this out. Now one alt wants to kill me, and I have another alt who seems very violent and angry towards others.

I have no idea what to do. Sorry if this is too triggering for this forum or anything.

(((((((griffe)))))))

For me, the words are not triggering. I, too, have violent alters - one is 10 (the one who cuts). She, like some of yours, is an animal - a wolf (so I actually can't look at the animals in the signature above with the glowing eyes). When she has threatened me or hurt me badly, i took her instrument and sliced up some of her wolf pictures.

Anyway... i had a point.... let me see if i can find it ... I'm glad yo got through this one and are being monitored. I also have an alter that is a "group" and they suggest ways in which i should kill myself - I have to be really careful when they show themselves and guard myself. Can you also guard against attack? It takes a lot of my strength to do so - but i must want to live more than I think (ironic) because I do always fight against the pulls.
The meds are helping keep the triggers to a minamum so that I am not switching as often - and therefore have less of a chance of injury. The wolf alter has only cut once since i started 3 months ago -

Hey!! 3 months today was my last severe cut!!! off track...

I took a poll some time ago on who within wanted to die and live - only 2 "lives" out of 14 selves, but some chose "i don't care". THis isn't really helping is it? I can't make sense of my thoughts this morning after reading a trigger in another thread.
sorry.

Sorry, didn't realize signature was triggering- I changed it. If ever I have a triggering sig just drop me a PM and I'll change it.

It's interesting you should say wolf because Wolf is the name of the one who is violent towards others. He never hurts myself but he's just so... angry to other people. I've been really feeble and weak lately so I haven't been able to stay in control. I'm scared one day he'll snap and really hurt someone. I don't think I could bring myself to cut up wolf pictures though because all my alts chose names of animals I really love.

It's Leo (Lion) who is the suicidal one... I'm scared other parts of me don't really care if I die either. The idea of a poll is kind of interesting... maybe I could try that but I don't really have great communication. I was kind of toying with the idea of trying to write down everyone's name and trying to improve communication so stuff like this doesn't happen again... I'm just scared that a suicidal one will take over and end it.

((((((((((Griffe))))))))))) Sorry you are struggling.

Do you have a therapist that is helping you through this? It's not something you should tackle on your own, in my opinion.

I do have at least one suicidal part and I get suicidal from time to time. Through T, I've learned to hang on and let it pass because time has proven that it's true. It's really hard if both me and this other part are suicidal at the same time because that part is quite violent as well.

At one point because of similar stuff to what you are saying, we agreed to be triggered by T so she could talk to that part. It's not something one should do on his or her own, but thankfully T is experienced and knew what to do. It helped a LOT. That's why I asked if you had a t, especially one experienced in DID. I don't think I would trust anyone else to do that.

Good luck Griffe. I hope you can stay safe. Take care.

(((((((((griffe)))))))))))
ooooh l love simba =)
I had loved wolves as a kid - then suddenly was terrified of them. I even gave my wolf throw away (to my abuser, ironically). I have been starting to be open again to it. But she was using those pictures as a means of torturing me and the other (younger) selves. That's why i ruined her pictures - to keep her in line. she had to learn she couldn't treat me like that or she would lose privledges. Now i only let her have pictures of wolves that are peaceful looking, playful or sleeping.

I keep a journal where the parts can communicate. Sadly, miss wolf decided to "write" in there with a razor - so several pages are torn up. but it does help to understand what each is trying to communicate.

I too hope you have a t or can get one - it is really important.kiya

I don't have a therapist at the moment because I'm moving back to my old city soon with my girlfriend and kids, so I thought getting a therapist here when we won't be here much longer wouldn't be very good (it takes me a while to warm up to a therapist anyways).

Once I'm moved, though, I was thinking of looking for a T who's good with DID. Luckily the move isn't a big deal for me because I have my girlfriend to take care of most of it, and it's to a city I know really well.

I had a journal but everyone stopped cooperating with it, but I think I'll try again at least for now. I'm so 'out of the loop' with my own parts and it makes everything really hard. I want to make sure no one does anything like that again.

Thanks Kiya & Wantto.

(((((((((griffe))))))))))

come tot hink on it - no one has written in our journal in ages. *sigh*.
I left a message for MD last week. when i saw her she said 'I could really hear you swtching. Yes'' What i heard was a tone that says "kiya, you've done badly and we have to help you now." =( made me sad.

I am glad you will look for a t when you get moved. that will be helpful.

I have just recently discovered that I have did. I fear this so much . I am female and he is male and is destructive when he comes out...when me gets very angry. He thinks that I am a stupid person and thinks she is weak. He came out and abused my husband, by ripping hisclothing demeaning him(my husband) saying" if you wont make love to her I will". This was told later to me by my husband ,because I don't remember things tis "alter" does.

(((((((((((((pugchloesmom))))))))))))) I'm so sorry you are struggling. DID can be hard, but remember, it's always been there- you just know it now. If you just found out you have it, I am assuming you have a therapist? Stick with him/her. They can help you through it.

Good luck and take care.


How are you doing today Griffe?

Thanks. I will be seeing a psych next week

Not very well, but thank you for asking. Too much stress is getting to my head, awful head-ache, and I know DID is to help me cope but it simply drives me crazy on days like these.

Thank you for your concern.

I get alot of headaches too. I am scared alot. My did alter doesnt like or my husband. this alter is male and very agressive and wants to hurt anything around me. This is bad

(((((((((((((((((griffe)))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((pugchloesmom))))))))))))))))

hope you are both doing alright!

I just found out my BF has someone else, someone dangerous, suicidal.

He got some REALLY bad news at the Dr. today (kidney damage/failure) and we were talking about it and then this GUY comes forward and starts talking about just ending it all now. I didn't know this one. I've only seen the look in his eyes on one other person before, and that's me back when I didn't care and had nothing left to lose and I was out of my mind. This way lies madness...

I don't know what to do. Everybody else knows about him now, but they didn't before. Well, someone did because they called him by name, but nobody's owning up yet. I don't know what to do. He tried to grab a knife, but I fought him off. I think he's safe while his kids are there, and I told everybody what went on. They told me they'll try to work together to keep him safe. I don't know what to do.

I don't know how you guys keep yourselves safe...but you have got to be the strongest people I've ever "met". I have more respect for you than you could imagine...I live on the outside. I can only watch and wait and stand beside him.

((( Kendyll )))

Standing beside someone who needs you can be the most helpful thing sometimes.

My rage Alt just a few days ago told me to pick up a rock and hit my husband with it, I was thinking, NOOOOOOOO never and the rock stayed. But how do I live with this guilt~ My husband has never laid a finger on me, never would and yet a voice, a part of me is like this and I'm scared, so guilt ridden and I just hate that this happens...

Oh Kendall we all could use someone like you in our lives. You sound terrific. You are amazing! ((((((((((HUGS!!)))))))))))))

Kat