therapy: too confusing

I had therapy today and came out confused as usual. I tried to explain how I feel but it is so hard. I try working on something and all these "parts" in my head start arguing. And, I don't know who to listen to. I know which ones I'm NOT supposed to listen to, or at least act on.
I have a question. I feel like I get stuck with old feelings, sadness and anger from childhood. T wants me to figure out what she's trying to say. but it's so hard to be objective. I just want to ignore her and make her go away... So, my question is, if you are tired of acting out of the child mindset, how can you also take care of her? Is coloring or other "immature" stuff just going to make her feel more empowered, more sad and angry or will it settle her?
I'm just confused as to how I'm supposed to deal with this. Very, very lost...
Maybe this makes no sense, but if you can respond- thanks.

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I just want to ignore her and make her go away...

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Unfortunately that strategy will not work, you are going to have to let her express how she feels some how.

It does take a lot of time and effort but bare in mind that each child part will have an adult part there somewhere, and it's about keeping the adult part there to guide and reassure.

The drawing and colouring does not just empower her but will show you the adult, and improve better communication eventually.

I know it's hard.

(((((((((((((( complic8d )))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((( complic8d )))))))))))))))

Thats a really good question ((((((((complic8d))))))))))))))

I wonder if you could ask her what she would like to do (as long as it's safe). I don't think you have to be objective to allow her to express herself. You certainly don't have to understand what she needs to get out right now. But I look at it in the same way I would want to help a friend deal with their emotions and thoughts. They deserve to be able to express themselves to help get it out...why not allow your young one the same advantage?

I don't know if allowing her to do the stuff that her age likes to do will help her feel sad/angry/empowered/settled, but nothing ventured, nothing gained I wonder too if she is allowed to express herself, you may learn more about her and be able to create a closer relationship with her. Maybe some understanding will happen in time.

I hope I'm not way off base on this.


sabby

((((((((((((Complic8d))))))))))

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_sabby_ said:
Thats a really good question ((((((((complic8d))))))))))))))

I wonder if you could ask her what she would like to do (as long as it's safe). I don't think you have to be objective to allow her to express herself. You certainly don't have to understand what she needs to get out right now. But I look at it in the same way I would want to help a friend deal with their emotions and thoughts. They deserve to be able to express themselves to help get it out...why not allow your young one the same advantage?

I don't know if allowing her to do the stuff that her age likes to do will help her feel sad/angry/empowered/settled, but nothing ventured, nothing gained I wonder too if she is allowed to express herself, you may learn more about her and be able to create a closer relationship with her. Maybe some understanding will happen in time.

I hope I'm not way off base on this.


sabby

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COMPLIC8D,

I think what Sabby said sounds like what my littles would like. I think they just wanta be heard and they don't have to make any sense to the grownup me. I spent so much time squashing them (out of fear of them) and that just made everyone miserable. I think they want just what I want - I WANT SOMBODY TO LISTEN TO ME AND NOT SAY SHUT UP YOU!!!

I'm starting to like my littles a lot, but I'm still afraid to let them out when my spouse is home. He's not a creep, but he doesn't accept us. He's uptight ****** Retentive. sigh...= ( yep we wanna be herd!!! yea me!

Ya know, Complic8d,

I used to just want the littles inside to SHUT UP. I wanted to be able to live my grown-up life without them. I wanted to be "over it" and not to have to "deal" with it.

That drove me just about crazy - on top of being DID!

They got very upset with me about being ignored and told to shutup.

I think they HAVE to be heard or things get worse and worse.

The nicer I treat them, the easier it is to get along with them.

Hugs, I know it's not easy.