[multipixie9]

I feel rage. I do not know what to do with the rage. I want to cut. I want to hurt someone. I have never done violence to anyone but me and i want to hurt someone because i do not know what to do with the violence stored up inside my mind.

I am not irrational. I am just completely filled with rage.

No words can express how deep and wide and full of rage and fury my mind is right now.

What the ....do i do with it????????????

Rage is a scary feeling for me, because I don't know what to do with it either, and it feels SO BIG.

I have tried driving in my car (so no one can hear me) and SCREAMING. I have tried hitting soft things really hard. I've tried writing with a pencil or pen - pages and pages of rage.

T says it's a physical thing that has to be released somehow.

Is there something physical you can do? I have a friend who digs in her garden when she feels like that.

(((((((((((((((leslie)))))))))))))))

[pegasus]

Do not hurt yourself.

A boiling kettle needs an outlet.

Go in the kitchen and find a dish cloth. Swill it under the tap and then wring out the excess water. Now, chuck that damp dish cloth around until you feel better.

(((((((((( multipixies ))))))))))

[pegasus]

Find an old pillow. You can draw a face on it. Beat up the pillow!

[sabby]

I can sympathize with those who need to let that rage out.....

For me, the best outlet I've ever found was to be physically active.....whether it's throwing myself into the housework, scrubbing walls or the bathtub with real vigor or going for a power walk.....anything I could find to do physically really helped to lesson that feeling to where it was manageable was what I would have to do. Might it help you too multi??

I hope you are feeling better today!


sabby

[KathyM]

multipixie

You've been given some good advice. I prefer physical exertion in a good way - i.e., working (digging) in a garden, exercise, or singing at the top of my lungs to a song that matches my emotions. Sometimes it helps to sing at the top of my lungs to a song that is completely opposite to my emotions. It may come out sounding sarcastic, but it seems to help - it passes the time. Sometimes it helps to trigger a more peaceful emotion.

Rage is just an emotion - it won't last forever because it's exhausting and it can make you feel "dirty." Sooner or later you'll want to take a bath. It's not worth hurting yourself or anyone else during this time. Try to find a productive and constructive way to release that rage to bring you back to a more balanced state of mind. When the emotion (rage) is over, you'll have less of a mess to clean up. You might even find yourself more balanced and stronger to handle any future bouts with rage.

[Kendyll]

I used to keep a stash of old cheap nasty dishes from Goodwill and some old shower curtains or cheap painters' plastic sheeting. I could go down in the basement or the back yard and break dishes until the worst blew off. Kind of a compromise with myself. I'd get to break things, but I didn't destroy anything important. I liked the sound, liked throwing things. When I felt better, I could just sweep up the stuff onto the plastic, wind it up and pitch the whole works in the trash.

Not very constructive or productive...but it helped me blow off the wost of the steam.

[MINIME]

Can u talk about it? would that help? Im here to listen. If u want to PM me. Stay safe

[Kiya]

i've always wanted to do that dish breaking thing. never had the gall tho. rage scares me too - i've finally learned to temper the blind rage and i don't want to unleash it again (even tho i know i'm sposta let it out "Safely" - what ever that means- safe rage??? i ask you). i also like the pillow and face idea. but personally, i can't do it. i feel there is no safe enough place to let rage out. that's just me about me. good luck with the whole thing.
(((((((((((((multipixies)))))))))))

[KathyM]

LOL Kendyll - that's still kinda productive. You're a human trash compactor - garbage men probably love you. I would suggest you be careful though. If your neighbors see you breaking plates in your back yard, they might be hesitant to attend a pot-luck dinner at your home - might not ever see that plate again.

Talking is good too - especially with someone you trust who can serve as a sounding board, or one who has endured similar storms in life.

You can also write out your rage privately to yourself - whatever comes to mind. When the storm is over, you can go back and look at your words more objectively. Sometimes it can help you pinpoint the source of your rage - if you can learn to read between your own lines. Very often, what triggers our rage is not the source of our rage - it's just a reminder of something else. If you can pinpoint the source of your rage, you might be able to find a way to remove it from your life. If not, you can work on ways to live peacefully with whatever thorn happens to be in your side.

OR.....you can read those past angry words and have a good laugh at yourself - maybe even give yourself an A for throwing a doozy of a hissyfit.

[multipixie9]

Thank every single one of you for these wonderful suggestions. Wednesday morning I did the rage on here and on another forum. I let myself say all the ugly words stuffed inside of me.

This all happened early in the morning and for once in a million years my spouse got up at 4:30 am and I couldn't pitch any kind of hissy fit with him around. Mr Clean doesn't do rage. He sat 2 feet away from me at a table and was not even aware that I was ready to do violence - maybe-.

BUT THE NEXT TIME I am committing to do something PHYSICAL for my parts and for myself. I have a "bataka" bat - a padded bat that I haven't used in years, but it makes a wonderful racket when used to beat up a rubbermaid plastic garbage can outside in the backyard....I know because I used a bat on it one time when I hit an unexpected rage.

All of your ideas were so good and you are so kind to share them with me. I will share them with my littles. I have a little who got her name Wednesday. RACHEL - Rachel carries and hides a lot of my anger. I was NOT allowed to ever be more than quietly sulky.

Thanks SO Much new friends on PC: Kathy, Kiya, Minime, Kendyll, Sabby, Pegasus, Earthmama!!!! YOUR SUPPORT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!

LESLIE AND HER PIXIES

[wanttoheal]

Anger from myself or others is very hard for me as well. When it's in myself, I have found that extreme exercising really helps me. When it's from others, I tend to run and hide lol.

It's all a process. Take good care.

[multipixie9]

You know the only bad thing about getting physical when you feel enraged is that you have to be fit enough to BE physical. I have fibromyalgia pain problems and chronic fatigue issues and I can't always be as physical as I want to be. BUT, I will find something to do.

Pegasus suggested throwing a damp dish towel around, I bet I could do that. maybe put a picture on a wall and aim the towel at it and smack the picture around and let some of the rage out. Its a balancing act. If I get too physical the pain gets too bad to move. If I never move I get stuck with the internal rage that needs to be let out....sigh. its a balancing act

WHERE DID I LEAVE MY TIGHTROPE????

Leslie and those wild Pixies!

[sabby]

I have another idea.....

How about sitting on the kitchen floor with your pots and pans pulled out and a couple of wooden spoons. Bang away on the pots and pans...maybe you can play some music in the background to play with....it might just help those wonderful ones who are feeling angry and it shouldn't hurt you too much with the fibro Bang away at those pots and pans.....cry away if you must.....and know it's definitely ok to feel the anger....and also that it will pass after awhile...and you'll be able to breathe again


sabby

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((multipixie))))))))))

[Kiya]

Originally Posted by multipixie9

I have a little who got her name Wednesday. RACHEL - Rachel carries and hides a lot of my anger.

YAY RACHEL - isn't it great when they get their names?!? =) To me it is sort of special because it means they are getting to be heard, and they are trusting me with something as sacred as their name.

kiya et al.

[multipixie9]

yes, Kiya it is special when they get their names, but Rachel got given her name by someone I trust. when rachel got her name Jane was there and told me her name. she's named after jane eyre out of that book by somebody Bronte. its an old book. my mom called me plain jane from the orphanage when she didn't like how my hair looked. she was "fun" that way...NOT. she's gone so it doesn't matter now anymore.

thanks for posting a reply. we're not as mad as the other day. now we're just middle sized mad. grrrrrr

leslie and jane

[pachyderm]

Did you go to your profile and Edit Signature? Where is your picture located? Have you uploaded it to Psych Central?

[multipixie9]

Pachyderm,

i have it saved on my computer. I did go to edit signature. I don't know if i did things in the proper order because i am a flaming idiot on the computer who can't seem to remember that the right side of the mouse has functions that will help me do stufff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!gggggrrrrrrrr!

I am so stupid on this computer i could just scream. How can i be in such a good mood and in a split second be back in the stupid rage again.

I am not bipolar. I m did, but right now i wonder if this is how it feels to suddenly just be someplace emotionally opposite and so flaming upsest.

Thank you for trying to help pachy. I am sorry i am ranting i just want to scream out loud and i cant do that i'll explode all over the walls.

Leslie the flaming idiot on the computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ggrrrrrrrr!!!

[pachyderm]

Where's the exploding bomb icon?

[multipixie9]

YEAH, WHERE'S THE EXPLODING BOMB ICON WHEN YOU NEED IT!!! BOY, DO I EVER NEED IT!

LESLIE/ANGRY/PIXIES

KAAABOOOMMMMM!!!!!!