Angry teen causing havoc

MAD MAD REAL MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHY???????????????????


this is not good trying to listen tried leeting write not helping

what can l do with her ,how can l help her , dont know what to do

Mandy does she need a hug?

ive hugged ive tried to listen ive sat at her side

told she can come to write
she is givin up she hurtin bAD

keeps ranting about christmas but will say no more

dont know what to do sayoing all fear her she must go

how can l help her
need to help her now
PLEASE I NEED HELP WITH HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Christmas time often triggers deep places in alters. It may be the time of year has something to do with the abuse, or it may be that the teen is missing someone who was close to them and isn't there anymore. But please don't tell her she has to go. That will only increase the likelihood that she will hide and cause damage when you aren't looking. We have found that listening, or even sitting there quietly, or singing softly, or reading a soothing book, etc., will help the alter to begin to wind down and become less stressed and more able to talk about what is bothering them. Maybe suggest that she go inside, seek out a protector, and try to work on what is bothering her so she can then come out and tell the therapist what is going on in her world. Every part needs to be validated and heard, and loved for who they are--unconditionally. If you fear her, she will not expose herself. But neither will she get the help she needs. And you can't just get rid of her either...she is there for a purpose, and needs all of you to rally around her right now so she can calm down some. We will be here with you as you struggle to find the key to getting her to talk to you more. As long as it takes, we are here. Crys

we hears you mandy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bead sits with you and all alters..............

we will get thru this journey toegether sweetie..............
the rope works both ways remember that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hang on tite we gots the other end!

bead

she says others are scared of her and she is saying she must go...... l dont know how to Donna with this l am just sitting and being with her but feel that l should know what to do to help her but she wont talk except for few odd words.................do l just stay and wait let her know that l am there hold her and comfort her .............playing her favorite music and being there

we is holdin on bead real tights cus we thinks we are fallin dont know how to helps Donna bead she is so mad and hurts
she normally would write but she no write
l dont know how helps her bead.................no T for two weeks what l do

she says everyone hate her and scared of her

i feel like u guys need us ta sit with u an just be there for u...playin her favorite music an just hangin round with her will help her know u r there for her...an it sounds like she needs ta know she isnt hated an no one is scared of her...sometimes teen sees the opposite of what is really true...i know cuz im 15 an i think like that a LOT...an i often think that everybody would b better off without me...an then crys tells me i gotta go back inside cuz she dont want me ta hurt myself cuz it would hurt the rest of everybody else too...just bein there for her will help her...she may not admit it...but it will...an tell her she can talk ta me or crys or beth anytime...we will hold ur hand as long as it takes...tell her not ta try to be somethin she cant be...an tell her u wont reject her or abandon her ever...i hope this helps...abbi right next ta u

Tell her that we are not afraid of her and that we don't hate her and that we wish that she would talk more so that we know what is going on with her...........

THEY ALL SAY THEY DONT HATE ME BUT I KNOW THAT THEY DO THEY ARE SCARED OF ME CUS L SHOUTS ALL THE TIME MY MUSIC ITS ON FULL BLAST THEY WANT IT OFF HOW CAN I TURN IT OFF IF I DO THEN I WILL CUTS AND CUTS BAD CUS THAT NOT HELPS NO MORE LIKE IT USED TO DO.
THEY WANT CHRISTAMS THEY ARE ALL HAPPY WAITING FOR THERE PRESENTS WELL I DONT WANT MY PRESNET ITS SUCKS AND IT HURTS AND I HATE THEM ALL AND WHY SHOULD I BE GOOD AND QUIET I DO THAT FOR ALWAYS
THEY SAY WRITE IT I WRITE IT AND DOES IT HELPS ME NOT A BIT IT REMINDS ME OF ALL THAT STUPID NO GOOD **** ALL THAT HURT AND PAIN AND THEN THEY SAY YOU ARE BIG GIRL NOW WHY YOU CRY WHATS MATTER WITH YOU ARE YOU BABY NO I NOT A BABY BUT YOU NOT WHAT IT HURT AND IT HURT BAD THAT IS WHAT THEY DONT SEE DONT KNOW AND DONT WANT TO KNOW......LOOK AFTER THE OTHERS THEY ARE SMALL AND THEY HURTS WELL YOU KNOW WHAT I HURTS TO REAL BAD HURTS AND WHO GIVES A **** NO ONE THEY JUST WANT ME TO ALWAYS SHUT UP SAY NOTHING PETEND THAT THIS IS NOT REAL WELL IT IS REAL AND L HATE IT ALL AND ONE DAY I WILL BE GONE AND THEN IT BE TOO LATE BUT WILL IT EVEN MATTER ALL THAT MATTER IS I DONT HURT THE REST OF US WHO IS THE REST WHY DONT THE TALK WHY DO THEY FEAR AND HATE ME AM I REALLY THAT BAD BAD BAD BAD
AARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

DONNA

Donna, I am sorry that you are hurting and I am sorry that your needs have had to take a back seat to the needs of the others. I hear your pain. I don't think you are bad at all Donna. Here is a hug for you if you want it ........

Let Donna let some steam off. The teenager needs some space and time out to let go... Let her have the loud music, let her shout if she needs to. Let her express her feelings in a safe way. It will feel scary but there will come a point where you and she will feel some relief. Then comfort...

((((((((((((( all of you )))))))))))))) ((((((((((( Donna )))))))))))))

wow at last someone who knows i nknows they are scared but i will not hurt bthem they just think s i will but only my hurts not them just me now and need them to hears me why do nt they nhears why they brun and hides

Donna this is Nina. I hear you and I want to listen to you. You're hurting and you're sad and the others they avoid you thinking you're angry with them. I know you want them to understand and you also want them to help you creating your new big room.
I think you're doing a great job Donna... First you decorated your very own room and then you were the first one to begin creating the big room.

Mandy wants to help you... be there for you. Let her hold you and I'll hold you too. You are important! Mandy and her therapist will help the others not to be scared of you anymore and I will talk to them too if Mandy says I can.
Never ever give up, Donna! I've just started to get to know you and I would like to listen more to you, my friend.

You are not alone even though I know you feel very lonely. We hear you.

/Nina

Donna,
I KNOW exactly how you feel right now. There have been times that I played the music so loud it bothered the neighbors, but I didn't turn it down, and I hurt so bad that everyone was scared I was going to hurt them, and they ran away and hid anywhere they could. I ranted, and raved, and threw hissy fits and even self-harmed until I was exhausted. It felt good, but I wasn't being very nice to everyone else, and in the end I ended up with some pretty scared kids and adults in our system. I now have some coping techniques that help me so I don't self-harm, and everyone is much happier inside. I still get really really REALLY angry and throw things and cuss and yell and play bad music very loud, but now I can CHOOSE to do it, I don't HAVE to do it. Some of the things I do is find the hugest pillow in the house, get my tennis racket, and beat the HELL out of the pillow, until my arms hurt and I can't breathe anymore. I also get ice out of the freezer and squeeze it in my hands until it melts really quickly. If that doesn't work, I scream and scream and scream into the pillow that I just beat the hell out of, and then I can't scream no more because my voice is hoarse and sore. What it all boils down to is that I CHOOSE to do healthier things so that everybody is comfortable and we aren't hurt so bad. If you want, you can email me or pm me. I can always come and talk. Just know you are understood more than you think. LEAH

LEAH
YOU SOUND SO WISE AND CLEVER AND THE THINGS THAT YOU DO SOUNDS COOL TO I JUST WANTS THEM NOT TO BE SCARED OF ME BUT THE MORE I TRY TO DO THINGS THE WORST THEY ARE SCARED . mANDY WANTED US TO MAKE A BIG ROOM SO WE COULD HELP EACH OTHER AND I TRIED REALLY DID AND WAITED FOR THEM TO COME HELP ME BUT THEY DIDNT COME SO I PUT ON SOME MUSIC THOUGHT THEY MIGHT LIKE IT BUT THEY DIDNT COME AND THEY HIDE AWAY AND NO WE IS ON OUR OWN AGAIN AND HAS NO FRIENDS CUS IT AINT ALLOWED AND WE HURTS SO BAD AND WE JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND SCREAM TIL WE NOT SCREAM NO MORE AND THEY ALL NOT LIKE AND WE LKNOW WE BAD AND WE KNOW THEY SCARED BUT STILL NO ONE COME AND STILL WE JUST SIT AND HURT SELF TOO BUT THAT NOT HELPS US KNOW . WE ALL HATES CHRISTMAS TIME BUT SHE DONT KNOW WHY WE ALL SCARED WE ALL NEED IT TO BE GONE WE DONT WANT TO BE BIG AS BIG MEANS MORE AND MORE HURTS L WOULD LIKE TO PM YOU BUT I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS OK AND I DONT WANT NO MORE TROUBLWE IT SEEMS ALL I DO IS WRONG AND SHE PROBABLY WONT LIKE THAT I DID THIS AS I PROMISED I WOULDNT COME OUT HERE BUT I CANT WAIT NO MORE LEAH I REALLY CANT WE IS JUST SO DESPARATE AND MAD THINGS IS VERY BADS JUST NOW
SORRY DONNA

[quote=daynnight;897867]Donna this is Nina. I hear you and I want to listen to you. You're hurting and you're sad and the others they avoid you thinking you're angry with them. I know you want them to understand and you also want them to help you creating your new big room.
I think you're doing a great job Donna... First you decorated your very own room and then you were the first one to begin creating the big room.

Mandy wants to help you... be there for you. Let her hold you and I'll hold you too. You are important! Mandy and her therapist will help the others not to be scared of you anymore and I will talk to them too if Mandy says I can.
Never ever give up, Donna! I've just started to get to know you and I would like to listen more to you, my friend.

You are not alone even though I know you feel very lonely. We hear you.


NINA
WE IS SORRY KNOW WE SAID WE NOT COME OUT AND DO THIS BUT WE WAS TRYING SO HARD AND THEY LISTEN TO US AND THEY ARE JUST FRIGHTENED AND I CANT DO THE BIG ROOM ON MY OWN BUT THEY WONT HELP AND MANDY WILL BE MAD AND THEN IT WILL ALL BE MY FAULT AGAIN AND I JUST REALLY MAD WITH THEM AND ME AND HATE ME AND I JUST DONT WANT TO FEEL LIKE THIS NO MORE THIS IS NOT MY FAULT..................WHY WONT THEY LISTEN I DID MY BEST THEN AND I DO MY BEST NOW THEY JUST NEVER NEVER SEE IT THEY JUST ALL SE E ME AS BAD BAD BAD THROUGH AND THROUGH

Oh (((((Donna)))))

Don't be sorry. I repeat: DON'T BE SORRY for the way you feel. Please don't be scared. I know Christmas is a B:I:G trigger for us too, and I used to act out because I was so scared and afraid and angry. Worrying about things is going to put you over the top, and then you will start to act out too. I would try to just work on the room when you feel like it, and tell everyone that they are free to work on the room when they feel like it too. Tell them that it is as much their room as it is yours, and invite them to go in when you are not there so they can decorate it the way they want their portion to be like. You guys aren't bad at all. You are very intelligent to have kept Mandy safe all these years. Well, sometimes in the beginning I was SO angry that everyone was afraid of me, even Yahna. The level of anger was destructive, and I did a LOT of destructive things to the body. It's ok to feel the way you are feeling. Those emotions are ok. They are normal.

Christmas time is a very upsetting time for us too. We usually end up inpatient because of me, so you aren't the only ones who are having a hard time right now. Know that you are NOT bad, that you are NOT hated, and you certainly ARE brave for coming out at all. Why don't you leave Mandy a note and ask her if it's all right if you pm me? You don't know until you ask if it's ok. And maybe she will be glad that you have someone to talk to about stuff, which might make it easier for you to talk to her T in the future. Donna, you need to go inside and let someone else take the load for a while. You sound like you need to rest, and you are so stressed right now. I'd like you to stay around for a while, because I think I like you already, and don't really know you yet! And, if Mandy says it's ok, then you will have someone to talk to, which will help too. So, take care of yourself and Mandy and let someone else come and watch for a while. You deserve to be nice to yourself right now.

Hugs,
LEAH

So the teenager feels that she is not allowed to express any anger as all the others get scared and the teenager gets blamed?

The littles are bound to feel scared, anger is frightening but in my experience teenagers can be very good with littles, a bit blunt with them sometimes but a teenager wouldn't hurt them. Besides that, it is unusual for a teenager and littles to be around at the same time.

Again I'll say, let the teenager have some time out, trust that she will not hurt anyone, she hasn't done anything wrong. There will be an adult there somewhere that can calm things down when the teenager has had enough time out.

None of you are bad, you are learning. Hugs!

so glad we got thru our rough spot tog. mandy!
sending more safe hugs, peaceful thoughts, warm fuzzies and
blessings your way sweetie! proud of all of you!

everythings safe in our box, if you forget the passie to get it out when you see T, pm me...always ALWAYS here for you

xoxo
bead