Too tired

It's not as if they weren't always there. It's not as if it's something new. It's just that I never knew. It's just that I am finding out. I feel like I am the last one to know. I am the brunt of a very bad joke. Everyone says they were put in place to protect me. It is a miracle because otherwise I would be dead. I feel like it is a very bad joke and I am the punchline. I am tired of being the punchline. I am tired of the joke. I want to be done. I am tired. Just tired.

(((((((((((((((((((((((( wantto )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

you need rest. is there a way that you can take a couple of days off of work and meet with t and rest for the rest of it? you've been very sick and now it's coming back, and for that i'm so sorry but that makes a hard situation seem impossible. when you feel better physically, it won't seem impossible, honey. please try to remember that, k? are you going to urgent care today for treatment? i think that's very necessary.

it sounds as if you're beginning to put denial aside and when you do, you can feel a number of thoughts and emotions. i can understand you're feeling as though you're the brunt of a joke. try to concentrate that they've been created by a very desperate child to survive. they were there to help and they still think they're helping in the ways that they know how...it's just not always appropriate anymore, ya know?

wantto, i know you. i know you're so tired. i also think you need to rest for a few days...to heal physically and to get some emotional rest. i also know that you CAN do this. you're not the brunt of a huge joke. you're more the person who's family has decided to take care of her and not tell her the things that they're going to do or their plans on how to do it...the intentions are good, but still one gets angry.

wantto, you are going to do just fine. i adore you and yours. you're a wonderful person and friend.

love,

Thank you Kim.Thank you for responding. It means a lot to me.

I am going to the urgent care clinic around noonish, if I can get my butt outta bed.

I don't have any more sick days. I had to take almost a whole week off week before last. I see t on tuesday. I feel already like it's a miracle that I am hanging on to this job. I don't want to push it by asking for more days off.

Your analogies are good. I will try to remember them. It just feels like a bad dream and if I wake up, it's just going to be a nightmare.

Thank you (((((((((((((((((kimmydawn)))))))))))))))) I am thankful for our friendship

<font color="pink">we do not know who the real person is I mean we are all real but you know. I am glad there are others to do stuff I do not want to do. Please do not be angry at your others or at your self be cause it is all about love I think. jj

(((((((((((((((((((wantto)))))))))))))))))))

As usual, i agree with everything Kimmy said, but I'm just chipping in to add my support for you

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I don't have any more sick days. I had to take almost a whole week off week before last. I see t on tuesday. I feel already like it's a miracle that I am hanging on to this job. I don't want to push it by asking for more days off.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
You've said that you love this job and that you're good at it. If that's the case, then I don't see why your job should be in jeopardy... especially since you say you mostly stay present at work... and when you don't, you say there's another part of you who is also very good at graphic design, lol. You've been genuinely ill, and badly ill at that... and you're still not well. being ill is really worsening the problem for you i think... i remember that Kimmy said a while ago that everyone was feeling bad because she was ill... is there really, honestly no way you can get extra time off work? i dont want to pressurize you here but i really do think that your bosses should understand that you're ill and that they should give you time off. can you get a sick note from your dr? do you have sick notes there?

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((wantto)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) - ginormous hugs

Hope you feel better soon.

Silver

Wanttoheal,

I am sorry you are so tired and then have been sick on top of everything else. This must be so hard to deal with. Like kd said it sounds like you need some rest, physically and emotionally.

I understand the sick days are short but could you get FMLA? If where you work has enough employees? I don't know about finances or if this is possible. Just a thought.

My heart and support are with you. I am hoping you can get some rest very soon. It will get easier with some rest. You can do this. There are a lot of people here who are there for you.

Please take care.

Hi Kim,
I went to dr today. I am antibiotics again... For someone who hates hates hates to take medicine, I sure am getting bunches of it lately.

I rested today. I will be okay. Thank you for your support (((((((((((((((kimmy))))))))))))))

((((((((((jj)))))))))))))
It's nice to meet you jj. I will try to take your advice. Thank you.

Hi (((((((((((((((((((((((silver))))))))))))))))) thank you silver. I appreciate your support.

I know, they would let me take more time off, but it's too hard to say I need time off. Feeling like a hypochondriac and need to stop whining. I went to dr today and he gave me more antibiotics. I hate medcine. Just want to be done. Maybe I will get better soon. Just tired. But thank you, I appreciate your support.

Thank you place for your response. I dont know what FMLA is, sorry. I know I could go and say I am sick, I need a couple days off and they would let me. But then I hear how much I am whining and that I need to just shut up and go. I am the whiner part . . .

I'm just too tired and tired of finding out more stuff and tired of whining. Thank you for your support. I'm sorry I am so grumpy tonight. I will try to respond better later when I am feeling better.

Thank you though, I appreciate you very much.

Definitely listen to what KD said. I'm not the "real" one. The birth person, the core, whatever you want to call it. I just know I'm the Host & I have to take what they throw at me.
What I do know though is when you start feeling things, anything, that's when your Body & Mind are telling you it is time to overcome something.
Best wishes & I hope you feel better soon.
Love,
RhysMadison

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Feeling like a hypochondriac and need to stop whining.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
i think if you feel like you're a hypochondriac, that means you're not a hypochondriac!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((wantto))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I still think you should try asking your work for some time off. i think all your stress and having to work is just dragging this thing on and slowing down your recovery. And yes, you're having to take medicine again, but it's only temporary and when you're better, you won't have to.

Wanttoheal,

Hope things are better today. Glad you went to Dr and got some meds.

FMLA is Family Medical Leave Act
(I think it is called) It very basically says when a business has (I think) more than 50 employees and an employee has a chronic health problem (physical or emotional) the employee can take up to 12 weeks per year off with out pay, to care for the issues. This can be taken in any time amounts needed and renew on January 1. The company cannot fire or penalize for this. There is of course a lot more to it but this is the bare basics.

Don't know if this is of help. I hope you are able to get some rest and feel better soon.

place

Morning (((((((((wanttoheal)))) I was just looking to make sure you didn't decide to do anything "harsh" I read the other posts since I wrote this TOO EARLY morning I'm sorry, I think my "Auto Psych Drill Sgt. Laura et. al." came on a little strong. PLEASE understand, I had spent all night up (and that's why I get tired & want to throw the towel in ) The others are right, don't think of asking for some "quiet time" in the hospital for even just 48 hours as a "weakness." It is a strength you learn as you know what you really need to do....and you do need and some We will all be here for you 24/7 when you do what's best for you right now, o.k?

(P.S: I'll "mellow" out a bit myself, Big Hug Comin' Your Way!!!
(((((((DayZee)))))Sr. Psych Drill Sgt.

((((wantoheal))))
Hope you're getting the and that you need for your own healing by now! Tx of this Dx deserves the best you can get! I was digging through some "MPD Quotes" I printed a long time ago & I ran across one that I thought maybe you could "chew over" that refers to a response one MPDer said about the Dx itself...please read!

"NOTHING could adequately prepare me for my diagnosis. It was like a jolt of electricity. But I am reminded that, although dangerous, electricity has the power to light the Darkness before me; and I am eternally grateful for that!"

Just think about it, but in the meanwhile, (((((HUGS& )))))) DayZee et. al.