[wounded1]

I told my husband that he needs to move out. Our middle son's birthday is Dec. 16th and then Xmas, but after that he needs to leave. It is so hard living with someone who has broken your heart and acts like everything is okay. Watching him go about his business like nothing has happened, wondering if he's already moving on to someone new, waiting for the communication that never comes. I've known for nine of the ten years that we've been married that he is incapable of loving me, but I thought if I loved him enough that it could work. It didn't. Now my heart is breaking and he seems relieved. I am counting the minutes until...I don't know. The healing can begin?

Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulders.

[sunrise]

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[Leed]

Bless your heart. What a sad story. You say that he NEVER loved you? My gosh, when why did he propose?

I'm so sorry you're going thru this. But you deserve something MUCH better than THIS! You certainly deserve someone who is going to love you unconditionally, warts and all; someone who will care for you thru sickness and health, just as the vows say; someone who will respect and cherish you! I KNOW you will find that. Let the healing begin!

And the healing WILL begin, my friend. Of course it hurts now - but that will subside in awhile, and you'll start to want to go out among people again and who knows? You might just find that "special person." And it might not take long at all. God bless you -- He knows you've been hurt, and He's watching over you. Take care. Hugs, Lee

[Unmotivatable]

I'm so sorry you've had to go through that!! I understand your hurt thoroughly!! Ive been married for 20 yrs, as we speak. The grounds for calling it quits was discussed early on in the begining of dating, 21 yrs ago... His guilt was eating at him, and he crossed that line, because he knew it would be done. I feel like the last 21 yrs was a lie. All of that and more, still just cuts sooo deep!! Hurts too much for words.... I'm here if you need a shoulder!! Hugs!!

[jer77od]

That is by far the worst feeling ever. Knowing that they could give two Fxcks about the relationship and then turning and walking away from everything you two have put together. But, what are we (you) to do about it but cry. I know exactly how you feel. Very vividly to be exact. It creates an entire universe of mixed emotions from anger to sadness to even cynical. Well, for me anyways. When this happened to me I went insane. I mean, I completely lost it. I tried to die, turned to heavy drugs, ran away, almost ended up in prison, it was very rare to catch me sober or let alone, awake. It took years and years to recover. To this day I still think about that passed rather often, as bad as that is for me. 2005-06 it was. The best thing I ever did was move into a new town and created an entire new life for myself. I worked myself into the ground with work, school, and the gym, all while being high as a kite. Eventually the feelings subside. Music now plays a huge part of my life because of it. I must say it has changed me. A lot. For the better or worse? Nobody knows. But at least it made me a little stronger. ...sort of.

I, like the other posters, am very sorry for what is going on in ur life right now, but all you can do is let time take effect. I would strongly suggest some sort of addiction. I don't mean a bad one, either. My entire life changed after that date. I graduated, I got an amazing job, and yet it still haunts me from time to time. I hope I helped, even though I doubt it. Just stay strong.

They say the best way to get over someone who is now worthless in your life is to get under... that's a terrible example. It's stated, "the best way to get over a bxtch is to get under one" and a guy who isn't worth his time is damn sure not worth your time.

I've learning something over the years of the 50-something odd relationships I've had. Every single one got better, and better, and better, etc. Every one grows stronger, and stronger, etc. I'm going to put money on the next man you take out (or takes you out) is going to be 10 times the man your last one was. Simply because you know what to look out for and all the stress and warning signals to look out for because of terrible passed experiences. I know it has been for me. My next ones get more and more strong, caring, emotional, etc. I say etc a lot. lol

That was quite the rant. Hope you survive.

[butterballhog]

Originally Posted by wounded1

I told my husband that he needs to move out. Our middle son's birthday is Dec. 16th and then Xmas, but after that he needs to leave. It is so hard living with someone who has broken your heart and acts like everything is okay. Watching him go about his business like nothing has happened, wondering if he's already moving on to someone new, waiting for the communication that never comes. I've known for nine of the ten years that we've been married that he is incapable of loving me, but I thought if I loved him enough that it could work. It didn't. Now my heart is breaking and he seems relieved. I am counting the minutes until...I don't know. The healing can begin?

Thank you for letting me cry on your shoulders.

when I read your note- it was right out of my own mouth- I had 29 yrs- he is happy- I set him free-I am still in love with him- we have been sep for 2 1/2 yrs-it kills me to see my family broken- I did all I can do- I lean on the lord In jesus name- we are whole-strong-wonderfully made--many things help us in his words- But we do have to go through agrieveing prosscess- I see a counseler -once A WEEK - ON A SCALE TO FIT MY INCOME-WE ARE WORKING ON MY SELF IMAGE AND WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY -THAT MY HUSBAND WOULD NOT DO WITH ME- i HAVE JUST IN THE LAST 3 MONTHS BEEN GETTING UP and out of my bed- I spent over a yr in my bed- I never thought I could feel better- but I do- God is God- Praise Jesus -amen! There are self help links for free on internet- I use them to- will be praying for you- togther we can support each other- The Lord says we should surround ourselves with others who will hold us up- you need new friend realtionship-s
Debra V

[Okiedokes]

I can relate in a way where I was told I was never loved, but out of guilt and pressure from his family, we got married. It was a very emotional distant relationship and just keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with you and that some people are truly just incompatible.

[gloobylube]

I too was told i was never loved , but he later reneged and admitted that yes he did love me for a while, and we both just kinda fell out of love, we still love each other as friends just not as spouses, our divorce isn't even final yet and out dating women it is very hard to cope with, and we just need to continue to join on another here, an lift each other up, any way we can, to raise our self esteem.
will being seeing daughter's therapist this Thursday, and hope to walk away with something to ease my aching heart and mind.
so we are all in same boat, we must keep each other from falling overboard, and not let each other sink..