I Think I Learned Too Late:

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 12:57 AM

Meeting went well. Created exit strategies and all was very amicable.

Open Eyes · 03:28 AM

When a person is exposed to a man who physically and sexually abuses his own child, that’s really bad, that’s like experiencing Lucifer bad That is something the nervous system never recovers from even when the victim so desperately wants it to go away.

I am sure you would never harm someone that way, unfortunately what you described triggered your wife’s daughter to react but not by conscious choice. Experiencing such an evil person leaves life long challenges that only those who have this challenge can understand and validate.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 05:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

When a person is exposed to a man who physically and sexually abuses his own child, that’s really bad, that’s like experiencing Lucifer bad That is something the nervous system never recovers from even when the victim so desperately wants it to go away.

I am sure you would never harm someone that way, unfortunately what you described triggered your wife’s daughter to react but not by conscious choice. Experiencing such an evil person leaves life long challenges that only those who have this challenge can understand and validate.

We struggled for years to win custody from her wealthy father. To this day, she still locks-up in therapy and we truly do not know the full extent of what she went through.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 05:22 AM

My wife is not at all the same person i knew.

Starting with a Kambo Ceremony (frog venom) in June of 2022, she also quickly moved into a Meso-American snuff called Ra-Pe, which was another part of her spiritual awakening.

Then, she began getting into the crystals and how each had a specific energy and purpose. This process brought greater and greater division between us due to the fact that we were not on the same vibrational frequencies.

What really seemed to just blow things up for us, was when she started playing you tube videos every morning from a public channel called Frankie's Just Tarot.

Over the past 3 weeks or so, the daily video "readings" were all centered around pulling people out of your life that "no longer serve you," and how you must do this in order to ascend to your full potential.

It got to the point, right after the breakup text on July 2, where i started watching those videos because i could predict how things were gonna go.

Open Eyes · Aug 02, 2023 at 05:58 AM

Oh I’m sorry but I don’t think any of that voodo type stuff is valid. I think it’s something that people gravitate to out of desperation. A desire for control over the unknown can be an effort to deal with trauma and uncertainty.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 07:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Oh I’m sorry but I don’t think any of that voodo type stuff is valid. I think it’s something that people gravitate to out of desperation. A desire for control over the unknown can be an effort to deal with trauma and uncertainty.

It got to the point that whatever the subject matter of those videos were, that's what transpired in my life, even to the point that phrases in the video would be repeated to me.

Open Eyes · Aug 02, 2023 at 08:25 AM

Yes, I believe you. Some of the things you have shared are attempts to elevate herself to some sort of high and you being demoted to suffering.

It’s very disordered behavior.

Does your wife drink or use drugs? Even taking drugs like Xanex or Klonopin can produce distorted and confused thoughts/moods.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Yes, I believe you. Some of the things you have shared are attempts to elevate herself to some sort of high and you being demoted to suffering.

It’s very disordered behavior.

Does your wife drink or use drugs? Even taking drugs like Xanex or Klonopin can produce distorted and confused thoughts/moods.

No alcohol

No drug use, prescription or otherwise

No meat

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 12:33 PM

For the first time in nearly 10 years, i have control of my finances.

Open Eyes · Aug 02, 2023 at 02:37 PM

Keep
It
That
Way

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Keep
It
That
Way

I agree.

This has been quite a journey.

Be too tough and she didnt feel like she could connect.

Be too soft and you are viewed as weak and she didn't feel safe.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 08:50 PM

I hate playing this game of balancing between being tough and being sensitive

Open Eyes · Aug 02, 2023 at 09:01 PM

That is called trauma bonding. You are constantly flip flopping to please someone else that will never really appreciate you. That’s why you are stuck in a low self esteem mindset.

You fall for women that play on you emotionally to control you.

Open Eyes · Aug 02, 2023 at 09:13 PM

What kind of man was your father? What male figures do you look up to?

Did you grow up with an unhappy mother who taught you to be trauma bonded?

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

What kind of man was your father? What male figures do you look up to?

Did you grow up with an unhappy mother who taught you to be trauma bonded?

Great Mom and Dad. Still alive and still married 67 years later. I was an only child. Great childhood, but the world absolutely sucked for me.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 02, 2023 at 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

That is called trauma bonding. You are constantly flip flopping to please someone else that will never really appreciate you. That’s why you are stuck in a low self esteem mindset.

You fall for women that play on you emotionally to control you.

So, you are saying, that in a healthy, more compatible relationship, flip flopping is not necessary???

Open Eyes · Aug 03, 2023 at 03:43 AM

You mentioned that you come from a home that was not a wealthy status type home. Did your mother do the finances and manage the money?

JustTotallyLost · Aug 03, 2023 at 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

You mentioned that you come from a home that was not a wealthy status type home. Did your mother do the finances and manage the money?

Yes, mom managed the finances and Pop ran the business.

Open Eyes · Aug 03, 2023 at 08:03 AM

Ok that explains why you are still comfortable having your wife manage the money. It was not unusual for that to take place in your parents generation. It also explains why you view your earnings as “our money”.

JustTotallyLost · Aug 03, 2023 at 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Ok that explains why you are still comfortable having your wife manage the money. It was not unusual for that to take place in your parents generation. It also explains why you view your earnings as “our money”.

Yes, that makes sense. Im far too trusting. I was a very agreeable stepping stone.

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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 02, 2023 at 12:57 AM #361 Meeting went well. Created exit strategies and all was very amicable.
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 02, 2023 at 05:58 AM #365 Oh I’m sorry but I don’t think any of that voodo type stuff is valid. I think it’s something that people gravitate to out of desperation. A desire for control over the unknown can be an effort to deal with trauma and uncertainty.
	Reply With Quote

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 02, 2023 at 08:25 AM #367 Yes, I believe you. Some of the things you have shared are attempts to elevate herself to some sort of high and you being demoted to suffering. It’s very disordered behavior. Does your wife drink or use drugs? Even taking drugs like Xanex or Klonopin can produce distorted and confused thoughts/moods.
	Reply With Quote

JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 02, 2023 at 12:33 PM #369 For the first time in nearly 10 years, i have control of my finances.
	Reply With Quote

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 02, 2023 at 02:37 PM #370 Keep It That Way
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JustTotallyLost Member Member Since Jul 2023 Location: Inland Empire Posts: 418 1 138 hugs given	Aug 02, 2023 at 08:50 PM #372 I hate playing this game of balancing between being tough and being sensitive
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 02, 2023 at 09:01 PM #373 That is called trauma bonding. You are constantly flip flopping to please someone else that will never really appreciate you. That’s why you are stuck in a low self esteem mindset. You fall for women that play on you emotionally to control you.
	Reply With Quote

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 02, 2023 at 09:13 PM #374 What kind of man was your father? What male figures do you look up to? Did you grow up with an unhappy mother who taught you to be trauma bonded?
	Reply With Quote

Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 03, 2023 at 03:43 AM #377 You mentioned that you come from a home that was not a wealthy status type home. Did your mother do the finances and manage the money?
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Open Eyes Legendary Wise Elder Member Since Mar 2011 Location: Northeast USA Posts: 23,251 (SuperPoster!) 13 21.5k hugs given	Aug 03, 2023 at 08:03 AM #379 Ok that explains why you are still comfortable having your wife manage the money. It was not unusual for that to take place in your parents generation. It also explains why you view your earnings as “our money”.
	Reply With Quote