The economy is screwing up the divorce

I am so frustrated as the house (where all our future money was sitting) is now worth almost nothing. To get a divorce & force the sale of the house in this economy would be completely stupid.....why shoot myself in the foot & destroy my 1/2 of the money also?

I am sure it will turn around again as it did the last time the house was worth less than we paid for it. This time, I have my own home in Kentucky & don't have to live around him, so I am free as far as that goes.....& I have all the mail coming here, so I am in charge of all the bills getting paid & the finances, so there is nothing he can do without it going through me at this point.....there is no way he can keep things from me anymore the way he did in the past.....I have at least protected myself against that.

So now....I sit here without any money to finish up my farm here in Kentucky & no furniture in my house because all my furniture that I own from my other estate money is in the California house.....ready to be moved here...just no money to do it.

He is sitting in the Caliornia house being the jerk he always was......he still can't take care of anything he is responsible for taking care of & then he thinks he's going back to UCLA in the fall to take an Extension Course program for 5 quarters to finish up before he is 58....lol. I was poking around in his email to make sure he's not hiding more stuff from me, & noticed an email to his parents about this. Saying how he's taking care of the 5 dogs & feeding the horses 2 times a week & all he does is cleaning, dusting & vacuming, watching DVD's & the limited TV that comes in with the cable because the TV has been cancelled (due to to the fact there is no money for things like that).

Where he thinks he's going to get the money for the UCLA extension classes is beyond me. But what is more beyond me is how he even thinks he could possibly pass a class he would take in the first place as he can barely figure out how to do the things he has to figure out around the house. He still hasn't gone to the Dr to have he failing cognative abilities checked out as the PDOC wrote in the letter to the IRS (the back taxes that my husbad didn't take care of for a year....never saying a word to them nor to me about the situation) suggested that he do.

I had written an email to his parents in March about what is going on with him & obviously, heard nothing back as they live in denial as much as he does. I had told him to be honest about his situation with them & this was what he ended up telling them about wanting to go back to school.....then they responded with telling him to ship off the 5 dogs to me.....lol....I had him take back the 5 dogs when I kicked him our of my farm here in Kentucky after Christmas.....leaving 7 dogs with me......

I shouldn't be amazed anymore at the stupidity of this family.....any family that can be to highly educated & so stupid at the same time.....I know that all they are doing is living in denial & sadly, I am stuck a bit longer until the economy picks up & I can get the house sold so I can actually have money to live on the rest of my life.

This will give us good time to get all the debt cleared up....hopefully go through the bankruptcy so that we don't have to split up the debt in the divorce.....it would be stupid now to divide up the debt & yet have no assets to divide up......just don't see the logic in that at all.

Kept thinking that maybe God created this situation to give my husband a chance to turn himself around, but it's obvious that will never happen, so it's just a chance to bide my time completely away from him.....Everytime I get a glimpse of what he is as a person, it makes me sick to think I wasted all my life on a jerk like him.....no matter how nice a person is.....the jerk part is the biggest part & the jerk part is NOT A NICE person they way they disrespect you & refuse to communicate with you as if you don't even exist.

I had sent him an email touching on the question that asked him where he was planning on getting the money to go back to UCLA & why he hadn't gone to the Dr to see if he was even ok before planning on that & why does he always have to sound like he's planning on doing something important when in reality, nothing of the sort can even happen?

Had to laugh as that email got trashed immediately.....just reinforcing the denial I know he's in. How I could allow myself to be around a person lik this for 33 years is beyond me. Realizing it has been for economic reasons in the past....but at least this time, I no longer have to live around this looser.

I don't know why, but I always seem amazed at people when they have no concept of reality....I should not be surprised after all these years, but when I no longer live around it, it seems to show up even more entensly, not being around that behavior & being around normal people.

So much for the end of a married life.....just wish things were a bit more finished around here than they are......but the freedom within thesse walls is worth living in a house with no furniture.

Debbie

Debbie, get hooked up with Freecycle and get u some furniture, enjoy your freedoom from him
Angie

Hope they figure the issue with the speculators soon (it ain't the economy sweetheart) and bring some stability back to society.

I’m so sorry that there’s been another wrench in your plan to get on with your life. I forget, are you legally separated or only physically? Would a legal separation protect you from being financially responsible for any new debts he creates while you’re getting your ducks in a row?

When I looked into the legal separation....they said that all the assets had to be devided up just like the divorce which would force the sale of the house.....from my understanding of what the people who know the information at the courthouse. They said that the legal separation was just the first step in divorce & that usually comes 6 month or so after the separation.....so it's basically the same thing.

I do need to find more information & put a plan together. with information from...... an estate planner, a bankruptcy lawyer, & a divorce lawyer. I have talked to each in the past, but I need to know how to preceed from the point I'm at now.

He keeps trying to push refinancing my home here in KY.....think he would have to be on the deed.....but I am not stupid enough to do that....get the loan....get the divorce & even if it would work that it was still completely my property, I would end up with a loan I couldn't pay......I can't believe he thinks I would be that stupid.....but then again, when I point these things out.....it's like he doesn't have a clue.

Either he is the stupidest educated person on the face of the earth or he really trying to find a way to weasel his way into my life while all the time telling me how he wants to get out of the relationship......actions don't match the words.

My cousin is going through a similar thing with his soon to be ex. She wanted the house, so in the initial meeting with the attorneys he agreed. Then she decided that she didn't want to file the deed, but wanted him to help her re-fi the house first(she can't do it on her income, cash under-the-table). She told him if he doesn't help her re-fi, she'll quit paying the mortgage (which he is currently under court order to pay her until things are settled) and let it go into forclosure. Luckily she's dumb enough to make these threats via text messages. I don't envy you the mess.

((((((((((((eskielover)))))))))))))
I'm so sorry things are not going as planned. Hang in there.