[sabby]

I haven't talked on the phone to the soon to be ex in a couple of months. Haven't heard from him via email in forever it seems. He's supposed to be filing for divorce. Since he lives in Romania, I know it takes longer for things to happen but this is ridiculous...the process hasn't even started yet.

He's been being a poop head as usual and not keeping in contact with me and mostly because he hasn't been doing what he's supposed to be doing by getting an attorney and paying for the divorce. I told him he wanted to end it, he can pay for it. I have paid for everything else (because I wanted to, not because he asked or expected me to).

I have always adored his accent and the way he talks. I thought I was more prepared to hear him speak and just found out how much I was NOT prepared to hear his voice.

Man, I thought it was hard having a long distance marriage and trying to get him to the states. Then I thought it was even harder when he gave up hope and decided to end the relationship. Now, it seems to be even harder to hear him speak on the phone .... and I really thought I was getting past this pain.

When my other marriages failed, I had no loving feeling left for them, so it was much easier to get past the pain of a failed marriage. In this one, it's so different. Even though I am very angry with him and hurt to the max at his seemingly indifferent ways, I still love the man. Don't get me wrong, it is definitely over....there is no way I would even try to talk him into continuing our marriage. I won't stay where I'm not wanted. And I know that fighting for something that "I" want at this point would be like banging my head against a concrete wall. No one is worth my hurting myself further for......there must be mutual love and appreciation for a relationship to truly work.

I really thought I was past this point.....maybe I'll just wait and see how long it takes me to stop tearing up and for my heart to come back up out of my stomach. Maybe by seeing how long it takes me to recover from hearing his voice will tell me if I'm further along in my healing or not. Maybe..........................................................................................

Oh, honey... ((((((((((( Jean )))))))))))))

To hear the voice of someone you've been emotionally involved with must be so triggering and bringing back feelings and all the memories... in a flash

I'm so sorry about the way things are between you two...
He should treat you in a totally different way... What about respecting you and your feelings?

One step at a time... and you will heal... my dear friend! pm me whenever.... I'll listen.

(((((((((((((sabby))))))))))))))))))))))))))
My friend love is one of those things that last along time in the heart
Your heart is big
very caring.
So this is going to be hard
AS you said you still love him
I know its over for you
but that pain is still there
may is ease my friend
all my thoughts are with you
muffy

[nowheretorun]

(((sabby)))))))))

[EJ711]

Sabby,

I am so sorry for your loss.

I'm sorry the love in your heart for him, opened you to feel such pain at hearing his voice.

Men!

EJ

[sabby]

Thank you so much for your understanding ((((((((((((((((((((( Nina )))))))))))))))))))))

Yes, I would very much appreciate some respect from him for my feelings. I think sometimes that it's easier for him to be so far removed from me ... he doesn't have to experience and think about anything other than his own survival. I'm not making excuses...believe me I wouldn't go there. He is young...he has a lot of life to experience still....and I'm a firm believer in what goes around, comes around. Not that I wish anything bad on him, but someday he will understand how he is treating me and how it truly feels

Again, thank you dear friend for being here for me. I appreciate you!


sabby

[sabby]

Sweet ((((((((((((((((((((( muffsters )))))))))))))))))))))

You are right...the pain is still there....who knows, maybe I'm deluding myself thinking that I will get over the twinges and aches in my heart. I just hope I can figure out how to move through those times without crying or feeling defeated.

Thank you my dear friend for your undying support. It truly helps!


sabby

[sabby]

(((((((((((((((((((((( nwtr ))))))))))))))))))))))))) Thank you

[sabby]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Men!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thank you dear ((((((((((((((((( EJ ))))))))))))))))))))!! You made me laugh when I read that! I do so appreciate your understanding and care!


sabby

Sabby my dear sweet.....

Men and woman can be so cruel at times they forget it could be them on the receiving end of the pain, my heart goes out to you and if you feel like running away you know where you can run to..... my door is and always will be open to you.

Love Trish.

[seeker1950]

OMG! Sabby! I had no idea you were going thru this! You are always so THERE for us here on PC. Your words are always so wise, insightful, and compassionate. I really do benefit from your feedback!
As for the pain you feel at hearing his voice...you do know this will pass. It will! I speak from experience, sometimes years of recovery...but it passes, especially if we were not treated as we deserved.
Love
Patty

[Sherina610]

Hi
I just wanted to tell you that I envy you! You're actually on your way out of a fake relation that had no future.
I know how you feel and I am sure that it is painful, but you know the truth is ugly and hard to handle. However, you're doing a great job.
The facts that you decided not to be where you are not wanted as you said, that you're going to heal and that you are not denying any of the reality no matter how cruel it is, just make me admire your strength!
You never know what is best for you, but honestly, I wish you the best and I know that a better life and a better lasting relation is waiting for you to heal.
Don't forget to open your arms for a new life and start over, congratulations, you're FREEEEEE!
Forgive me if I wound superficial, None of what I am saying can make the pain less I am sure of that, but I hope that it can help you to keep your eyes on one little bright side.
Good luck.

[sabby]

Have I told you ((((((((((((((((( Trish )))))))))))))))))))) how wonderful I think you are? I hope you know that the next time I run away from home, I will definitely run to your door! Thank you so much my sweet friend....


sabby

[sabby]

Awwww ((((((((((((((((( Patty ))))))))))))))))))) it's ok that you didn't know. I don't put many posts out there about my marriage (or lack there of) LOL.

Thank you so very much for your lovely words. I know they come from your heart...as mine do as well.

Yes, you are right, the pain will pass at some point. I truly hope it is soon. I'm really working on it As I'm sure you know, until that paper is signed and recorded...there is still an attachment. Having to wait for the ball to get rolling is not easy. Ironically, I now have a bit of an understanding of how he felt every time things got bogged down in trying to get him here....go figure eh?

Anyways....thanks hon....and I know you are right!


sabby

[sabby]

Sherina and welcome to PC!

Thank you for posting your thoughts, I appreciate your feedback very much.

I don't think you sounded superficial at all. You sound like a woman who has been in the same shoes and understands how it feels. Not a nice place to be is it....

Yes, I am getting free.....free to embrace what more life has instore for me and I am ready. That's why I want to get this divorce going and finished so that I can truly break free and do what I need to do. Feels like I'm stuck in a holding pattern and I pray I don't run out of fuel

Again, thank you for your thoughts. I hope you find the support and friendship you are looking for here at PC. We have a whole community of wonderful folks and I'm glad you found us here!


sabby

[SweetSunshine]

((((((((((((( Sabby)))))))))))) I dont know what your going thru but want you to know I am here for you. And I am so sorry that your having to experience this pain . Its not fair when good people have to go thru all this crap. I hope that your heart is able to heal sooner than later.

Love ya
Bethy

[sabby]

My friend ((((((((((((((((((((((( Bethy )))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Thank you so very much for your love and support. With you and everyone else behind me, lifting me up when I'm feeling weak....I cannot loose. I will heal and I will be a better person for the experience!


sabby

[Lemon]

Sabby - that sounds really hard. I think I can relate a little bit. I went through a long distance divorce as well (2 different countries). It would be many months in between hearing ex-H's voice. We mainly communicated about the divorce via email, so when I heard his voice it was a real shock and would bring back memories.

Because of the two countries being involved, mailing stuff back and forth, that slowed my divorce down. I'm glad it is done now. It is hard to wait once you finally make the decision.

I don't know if it helps or not, but sending you good wishes.

[sabby]

(((((((((((((((( Lemon ))))))))))))))))))) Thank you hon very much for responding. It really helps to know that you understand what it's all about. Yes, two different countries and I do expect things to take time, that is not my issue. My issue as that he is stalling and making excuses (valid to him of course). Oh well, it will happen when it happens...I'm in no rush to walk down the aisle again anytime soon

Thanks so much for your thoughts and support....I'm sorry you had to go through this too. I hope you are ok now and living YOUR life as you need and want to do.

Wishing you well Lemon!


sabby

((((((((((((((((((((((((Sabby))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thinking of you dear Sabby ... it's HIS loss sweetie. You are loved and we will hold you up until you are feeling strong again. So sorry you are feeling sad, but you are strong, you will be fine even though right now maybe you dont feel that way .... hugs and care to a wonderful person.

Always, Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[sabby]

(((((((((((((((((((((((( jinnybaby ))))))))))))))))))))))

Your love, strength and friendship helps me so very much, thank you my friend! You are right, I am strong, at least most of the time. And yes, it is his loss......but at the same time, I can't help but wonder, "what if". I try hard not to think that way...and most days I am successful at moving forward and not thinking about the what if's about us. Now I'm trying to put my focus on "me" and the "what if's" as it pertains to the here and now It's slow going some days, but I'm getting there!


sabby

[darkpurplesecrets]

(((((sabby)))))

To my dearest friend, I am sorry for what you are going through, and I am sorry for my selfishness that I have not seen this post before now. I know what divorce is like when you are just hit with it. I was in the hospital in Texas when I was served the papers and he wanted the papers back by a certain date which I had to go have them sent over night so he would get them. It was not what I wanted. I was trying to get help on what happened to me as a child and I was being punished through divorce and losing everying including my children.

I know how you feel. I am so sorry. You should never have to go through this. You give and give here on PC and you shine for others here. Sabby we are here to hold you up and support you in anyway we can until you are back on your feet--strong, and our wonderful sabby again. Know we love you so much and we are here for you.

We send our prayers up and our wishes that you will soon feel better.

darkpurplesecrets

[sabby]

Thank you so very much (((((((((((((((((((((dps )))))))))))))))))))))))))

You have not been selfish hon....and thank you so much for posting. I know you understand what I'm going through. I'm sorry for how it all came down for you too. It certainly wasn't done right on either situations and sometimes when I think of it, it makes me really mad that some people are just so insensitive. Then I think...how much better off we are without them as now we have the chance to really be good to ourselves and maybe find the one for us who is really perfect ( well one can dream can't they? )

I love you my friend....and thanks for being a constant support in my life. I appreciate you so very much!


sabby

[darkpurplesecrets]

(((((sabby)))))

Yes we can dream any way we want to and when we want to
but why--we do not have to ask can I do this--can I do that--put down the toilet-lid ( Someday, they will get what they did to us. You cannot keep doing wrong and everything keep going your way. Somehow I keep telling myself that.

But I know it hurts right now and I know that you know that I keep you in my prayers everyday and that I love you and you mean the world to all of us. It is their loss and our gain. I do not really think they will be happy deep down until they make it right.

You are a GREAT PERSON SABBY and THEIR IS NOTHING WE WOULD NOT DO FOR YOU. TAKE CARE and KNOW YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU ARE ALWAYS IN OUR HEART.

darkpurplesecrets

[sabby]

((((((((((((((( darkpurplesecrets & insides )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you my dear friend.....your support means the world to me!

Love You!
sabby