[irish_angel]

Ive had eating problems for so long I dont even know where to start, and before it gets too far into the post, I want to first tell everyone who reads this who has GAD *generalized anxiety disorder* I know the right way to eat, I know what you need to do to be healthy and I know all of the exercises and healthy diet and all of that stuff, but with my GAD I dont listen to myself.

As a child of abuse I learned along time ago to protect myself from harm.... Get Fat...*no I know that wasnt the right thing to do* I come from a family of alcoholics and druggies so I picked food as my drug of choice. Tho I never saw it.. common I know I was never Fat as a teen, when I thought I was fat..Im irish, Im big boned but then I had my first son, and wow I blew up. miserable relationship and unhappy thoughts and thats when I was diagnosed OCD. so there
I start to notice what Im doing.. Lose a few pounds then I start to feel guilty from eating so Id go 3 or 4 days with noting..coffee and smokes *i know thats very bad* but when the hunger pains kick in, I scrub the floors, do the dishes, wash the wall, re-arrange the living room... anything and then I *forget* to eat. and the day is almost over and I eat something..all gone to the fat pockets YEP! and then the guilt overwhelms me where I want to throw up, but being OCD and germs and all that..I cant do it. so I go to bed and wake up feeling like a big cow. and while Im going to sleep all the new diets, exercise etc that I am going to start doing is running thru my head.
now being recently diagnosed with GAD and starting the meds. Im eating more often..but not much at all when I do and my family is giving me a hard time..to me Im eating way more then I normally would in a day so I feel like a huge cow.

Thanks for letting me vent

Hi Irish,

Good vent letter, hope you feel better ! ! !

Do you have goals set for yourself since venting? It looks as though you have half the battle won, by acknowledging there is a problem, and you realize that, but just wondered where you are going with it.
It is good to vent, but goal setting is very important, and it seems as though you may be searching for answers to your situation. Perhaps not too, as you seem very aware the problem, and well in touch with yourself. And am curious where you are headed with this?
Resectfully,

SongBird

[irish_angel]

Hey SongBird I am very aware of what needs to be done, and Im slowly working on it, with the meds for my anxiety disorder starting to work , the anxiety of eating and association of food = fat will hopefully go away too, its been here for a long time. Like I said I know the right things to do, and Im working on putting them into action, It took me 10 years to put the weight on so I know it will take some time to get it off, Im not even sure if that answers your questions lol, let me know
Take Care
Erin

Hi again Irish,

Yep you answered my question, and it looks as if you are on the path of success. As far as your weight goes, I think we all have some feature about us that we are not happy with. Even top notch bodybuilders are not satisfied with how their bodys look. Well, at least some of them I know!
Anyway, try and try again, the key to success is repetition! If you fail once or twice, big deal, keep trying, Never surrender, Never give up!!! The journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step! You can do this and when you do, you will be so proud of yourself. Guaranteed.
Good luck to you in your endeavors,

SongBird