Alone and scared!!!

HI, I am in the process of going into treatment for an ED. I dont have a specifice ED but I am under the diagnois of EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise spieicified) i used to have anorexia and i have some issues of Bullemia. I dont Binge but Occasionally I throw up. Not as much! since meds are helping me with this. I am so scared now. I want to live a normal life and funcion normal but I am so afraid that I am going to get heavier and heavier. I am on meds that I think are making me gain weight and I dont know what to do. I am constantly hearing that voice to throw up and dont eat this. I tried calling a oncall dr from my therapist area when I was anxious but they didnt call back for an hour and a half and I lost it!!!!! I tried to vomit but Couldnt. So i stopped!!!!!! I am so scared!!!!! or BETTER YET THAT ***** IN MY HEAD (THE EATING DSORDER ) IS AFRAID OF GETTING WELL! ANYONE OUT THERE THAT I CANT TALK TO AND HELP COMFORT ME WHO ISNT INTO SUPPORTING STARVING OR THROWING UP!!!!!! HELP!

I know what you mean, to live a normal life and function normal, it's my dream too. When you hear that voice that tells you to throw up and dont eat this, that is a time to pray, sit back, do something else, call a doctor that does call back, come and post here, read material about your disorder, join a support group. Make a list of all ths things that you could do to make yourself feel better and keep the list with you always. Do you still feel as scared as you did when you wrote that? Update us on how you are doing. We care deeply about you.

I am sorry that I wasn't here when you posted but I wanted to let you know that I care and hope that you are doing better. PM me if you ever need someone to talk to.

I have had two panic attacks over the last day and i cant stand it anymore. I pray to god and ask him to send me a angel to watch over and be with me. He does and i eat normal and than am filled with guilt afterwards. I am soo fat and cant stand it, but i am so numb from all the pain and i want to drink alot of alcohol to get away from the pain or just run away. Now that the voice inside of me is overpowering me I am afriad to eat anything but I still do. God is watching over me and helping me somewhat. I am just so tired now.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{fitgal37}}}}}}}}}}}} Safe hugz 4 u!

((((((((((( Fit )))))))))))))

I am so sorry you are in such pain. I don't have any answers for you, but know that we all care very much.

Safe hugs,

January

Dear Fit -

I'm sorry you're having such a rough couple of days. Please keep us posted.

Hugs,

EJ