[flapjack]

i used to go on a teen help site for awhile back, and i met alot of
kids on there that some of my best friends, one in particular is my
friend *kary*. she is bullimic, and we bonded mainly on the fact that
im anorexic. i'm not seroiusly underweight, im just about normal. but
*kary* is a different story, shes extremely underweight, and she
doesnt look as bad as she is. now, i cant really do anything about it,
becuz whenever i try to talk to her about it she gets defensive. i dont think i can post numbers, but her BMI is way low,
like if she went to the doctors they would immediatly send her to a
hospitol .. and i dont want her to have to go to a hospitol, but i
think its the only way.. am i a bad friend for doing this? i know her
home phone number, but, i dont know her parents, like at all. i kno
tht they dont speak english.. at all, they speak polish. and i dont
think its my place, and even if she got better i dont think she would
forgive me. and i really need her, i know tht she has got to WANT to
stop.. idk .. am i a horrible friend for not being there to support her?

[zombiette]

hey, no you're NOT a horrible friend ur a really good friend for caring so much about her. I used to be severely anorexic myself and like ur friend, i could have been sent straight to hospital ( I think my bmi was 14 or 15 something). Even though she might not act like she wants help deep down she might because i remember when i was losing wait so rapidly i knew things were getting out control but i didn't know how to stop it, i just wanted someone to care enuf and interevene without been scared about how i might react. also, an angry friend is better than a dead one. interevening would hafta be planned carefully so it's a sticky issue which i don't know if i can say how to go about it so maybe talk to a counsellor or someone who has experience in dealing with this stuff ( as a professional, not first-hand like me!). But personally i think this is a serious situation and it is necessary. Good luck and pm me if you need anything more. She is lucky to have such a great friend.

[flapjack]

thanks, but i feel so bad about betraying her, i think her friends from school are going to tell a counseler. yea, her BMI is like 14 bordering on 13, shes promising me tht shes gaining but theres not way i can know for a fact, but shes never lied to me ever, so i owe it to her to beleive her... i guess all i can do is sit here and worry

[zombiette]

Yeah, i know but then again you would feel pretty bad too if she got worse and ended up in real danger...so i guess it's really hard b/c it's like a choice b/t two evils. maybe she is gaining but it'll be a lot easier for her to do it if she gets some help. yeah her school friends speaking to a counsellor is a good idea, b/c then she might feel angry at the counsellor rather than you guys.