I hate Being OVERWEIGHT

I am dealing with a big weight issue and actually have been for quite sometime now. What I mean by quite sometime now, I mean at least 23 years. I can't seem to get food out of my brain it's not good foods it's bad foods. I blame it on myself and the foods I enjoy eating.
I just came from the Dr and had a checkup, once again found out my Cholesterol was extremely high. You would think that I would care since my Mom and Dad both died from Heart attacks, tho my mom had other complications as well.

I have a Daughter that I worry about, she's 11 yrs old. She is over weight, she deals with Depression and ADHD as well. I remember being in Jr high and being called a Lard ***** by the kids. I know now that the kids are even more cruel and I don't want her to move into Jr high and get even worse treatment from them.

Food is our escape goat from the world. If you are an Over eater due to bordum, or you deal with Depression/Anxiety you may understand what I mean.

I hate being this way. I lack MOTIVATION and I am not one to exercise unless someone is holding my hand so to speak. Then I will have the motivation.

I am 90 lbs over weight per my Dr. I would love to lose at least 65 lbs, and that still wouldn't put me at my ideal weight. That's a weight I felt comfortable with, at the age of 20.

My daughter can afford to lose 45 lbs. Once again my motivation is so low I am not much of a teacher there either.

I don't know what to do. My Dr even looked into Gastric Bypass for me, but my insurance wouldn't cover it.

I am hurting more so now, because my sister is going in for Gastric surgery on the 23rd and she wants me to help her after it. I am ok with that because I want to be there for her, but I guess you can say that I am wrong in a way because I am Jealous or Envious of her as well. It's not in my nature to be or feel this way so I am hurting even more inside.

Can anyone offer suggestions? I am a loss right now. My self esteem was low to begin with and now I feel it has hit an all time low.

Hello I am sorry you are having a hard time at this time. There are numerous meal plans for you on The American Diabetes website that can help you and your daughter. There is also TOPS (Taking off Pounds Sensibly) meetings that are beneficial for many people to take off weight. The main thing is to take the weight off sensibly, and eat healthy. Maybe starting a group here at Psych Central to keep you motivated may help as well. Your therapist can be a good motivator for weight loss as well. I hope the best for you and your daughter, and your future with your weight loss. Take care soidhonia

Hon... I know how it feels! I'm overweight too. I have a lot of weight to get rid off. I'm actually about to start losing weight as from tomorrow. A friend of mine asked me to join her in her struggle. We will talk over the phone or the computer every Wednesday to hear how we're both are doing on the weight loss front. We will also support each other through the rough days, that will come now and then. Pm me if you like and we can talk about this.

((((((((((( jlove& daughter )))))))))))))

I understand. So the way I lost weight . . . don't recommend it but I did lose 70 pounds. Probably the best thing I've done . . . besides therapy and talking to the people closest to me is going to CURVES. I love that place, I love the people I met there. You and your daughter could go together and a lot of times they have like a buy one get one free kind of deal especially at this time of year. Not a huge fan of TOPS but every group is going to be different. I went with my mom when I was about 15, 16 and it wasn't a great experience for me but thats another story.
Take care of yourself. You can do this.

I understand how you feel. I need to lose 50 lbs. myself. My health is being negatively affected now (blood pressure, insulin resistance) & my self-esteem is really bad. I just started seeing a nutritionist who has helped me determine what I can cut out & how to lose weight. She said with my medical problems (plus I'm 52 so the metabolism is really slow) I would be lucky if I could lose 1/2 lb. a week.

I have lost 4 lbs. in 6 weeks. It is definitely going to be a long process, but I have to do something. In the last 6 mos. I had gained 15 lbs. so I've got to stop this NOW.

Perhaps your doc can give you some advice on how to proceed. Your daughter needs you to be a good role model & see you taking charge of your weight. She will benefit from having you serve more heathful meals.

I'm on 1500 calories a day, following the diabetic diet. Take care. I really know how you feel--the hopelessness of it can be overwhelming, but if you can start with small steps you will get some motivation when you see positive results.

The nutritionist had me keep a food diary for one week & she analyzed it & I was eating double the number of calories for my size--no wonder I was gaining so fast.--Suzy

Thank you everyone for all your kind words and sharing your life with me. I tried to start the all Veggie/Fruit diet and it didn't work I hate it I am such a French Fries girl. I think I am actually addicted to them. I think about them all of the time. If I see them on T.V I want them. What's wrong with me. My sisters having her surgery tomorrow and I am going to get a copy of her diet and try it out. I don't know I just can't win no matter what I do. I just go straight back to eating the wrong food. My strength and will power are 0% and I go into worried that I will fail. I am trying to be a possitive thinker but it's just not happening

Perhaps you are overwhelmed by thinking of the process of losing the whole amount of wieght you want to lose. My nutritionist is havein me keep a food diary & taking really small steps--like drinking 8 glasses of water a day & 1 piece of fruit. We will slowly add more fruits & veggies into my diet & cut down on the fat (which is my main problem plus portion sizes, oh yeah & eating while bored).

I see the lifestyle counselor tomorrow. I go to a
"wellness" center that focuses on weight loss from all directions: diet (95% of the focus for weight loss according to doc), exercise for increasing health (lower my blood pressure & help with insulin problems), a lifestyle coach, etc. I see the doc each week. She said it would take me about a yr. to lose 50 lbs. due to my meds that promote weight gain, quitting smoking, menopause--so I'm in for a long haul.

She had me write down 20 reasons I will feel better when I lose the weight & I look at them when I'm tempted to eat the wrong food or binge. I understand how you feel.--Suzy

On going battle!!!
I have been on a diet since January, because I recieved my Cholestrol lab work back and the results were VERY bad. I decided I am not doing french frys, burgers or anything that's greasy yet I continue to gain weight. I walk daily and I have been more active well as much as I can be, but the weight poors on. Whats wrong with me. I even have been more depressed due to some health issues, but I haven't turned to food as I usually do. I turn to the TV., a book or here.

So why is it that if I look at food I gain weight This is a never ending battle for me. I changed my whole life style for the better and it's not getting any better If anything it feels like it's getting worse

Did the doc test your thyroid? Mine was low so I'm taking pills for that & I'm losing--but very slowly. An underactive thyroid can make you gain weight, have no energy, get depressed, etc. If you are truly improving your diet & ex. you should be able to lose weight so there may be a medical issue. Are you taking medication? The meds I take for bipolar promote weight gain, but I have to take them or I get seriously suicidal.--Suzy

I believe it was your lucky day that you found out your insurance would not pay for you to have the gastric bypass surgery. And I also believe that you are being too quick to envy your sister who is having the gastric bypass surgery. I have been overweight the majority of my life and I have known a lot of people who have had this surgery done with much regret. So many people have so many bad side effects with the gastric bypass surgery including diarrhea on a daily basis. I also have had Irritable Bowel Syndrome for over 25 years. I had diarrhea between one and 8 times per day. I wouldn't wish that type of daily diarrhea on my worst enemy. I have also read recent studies that say that over 50% of people who have had the gastric bypass surgery become alcoholics. They say that most overweight people are addicted to food and once the food is removed from their life by the means of gastric bypass surgery, they replace their food addiction with an alcohol addiction. Anyone who qualifies for the gastric bypass surgery is enough overweight that it makes having surgery of any kind a much higher risk to the patient. It is more important to realize why you overeat and try to learn how to avoid overeating than to try and get a quick fix with a surgery. I started by new diet on January 2, 2006 for probably the 25th time. You know, turn over a new leaf for the new year. However, this time I realized that my IBS and constant diarrhea was keeping me at home almost constantly. I didn't go out of the house more than once a month with my husband for a "date". With the encouragement of my 33 year old son, I was able to realize that if I quit eating the foods that aggravated my IBS, I would also lose weight. Suddenly being able to leave my house at will became much more important to me than the ice cream in the freezer. By November 2006, I had lost 82 pounds. I am wearing trendy clothes now rather than fat lady clothes. I am getting out of the house and loving it. But the most important thing I had to realize was that I had to not care if I had my favorite meals or meals that really tasted good to me. Everything I ate was good food, but it meant a baked potato without butter and sour cream. I learned to like that same potato with salt, pepper, and a spray of butter Pam. I gave up fats, sugars and most dairy products since they all effect my IBS. I ate and still eat the same meals that I fix for my husband. I just don't add things to the foods except for salt and pepper. I guess the trick for me to be able to finally lose weight is that I wanted something more important than the bad foods I was eating. Can you think of something more important to you rather than the bad foods? Perhaps your daughter's size and health would be more important to you than the bad foods. I don't suggest that you ever "put" your daughter on a diet. I don't think it ever works when one person "puts" another on a diet. I think as adults we have to want to diet ourselves. In the case of a child, I think it is important to change the eating habits of everyone in the house. Rather than cookies and milk as an after school snack, a piece of fresh fruit and 2% milk would be a good idea. You can make lots of meals lower in calorie by just reducing the fat content by not making the gravies and such. And perhaps you and your daughter could engage in some type of physical activity even if it is a walk in the evening. Something that would be good quality time spent with your daughter as well as help you both burn up some extra calories and thereby help you both feel more energized. Your daughter would never have to know that she is on a "diet". And how wonderful you would feel not only by weighing less yourself but by helping your daughter by showing her the proper way to eat to be a normal size and healthy. My heart goes out to you for the situation that you are in presently. I am really hoping that you will be able to find the motivation that you need to be able to help yourself and your daughter. And even though I don't know you, I am glad that you will not be having the gastric bypass surgery. Once you have gained control of your eating habits and have your weight under control, you will be able to eat whatever foods you want, in moderation, unlike the patients of the gastric bypass surgery. Plus, it is also proven that a large majority of people who have lost weight initially with the gastric bypass surgery, will once again stretch their stomachs and become able to eat more and more food. These people's weight levels out for a time and then they start gaining their weight back. And will then be fat with the stomach mutilated.

My thoughts are with you.
Caobe

(((((jlove)))))

With some minor differences, I could have written your letter. When I am depressed I am carb crazy. When I am not depressed, I still tend to overeat. Heart disease also runs in my family. (So does diabetes.) I find it difficult to exercise because of motivation and also because I haven't found the exercise that doesn't aggravate my existing physical problems.
I am also worried about my 9 year old daughter because she has been getting a little more overweight every year. I try to put the emphasis on healthy eating and activity rather than dieting. I'd hate to worsen the overweight problem and have her start to eat more out of defiance or cause her to be anorexic or bulimic. But it worries me greatly, because I became overweight as a teenager and it greatly undermined my self-esteem.

I think my insurance will pay for gastric bypass, but I wonder if I have a right to do it with a young daughter since there is a 1-2% mortality rate.

It is sad that a health issue is so enmeshed with social issues. It makes losing weight more difficult and complicated.

I wish I had more answers or suggestions. It is a very tough issue.

Meta

Hi Jlove,
I eat out of boredom too. It seems everything I love to eat has a ton of carbs in them. I tried the healthy diet thing with the veggies and fruits but let's be realistic-they go bad too fast in the fridge, they're expensive, they're not so good that I'll actually crave them, (except banana chips-yum!) and you have to buy fattening stuff to go with them to make them taste good. (I can't eat strawberries without whipped cream or veggies without the veggie dip, etc...)
I'm doing the yo-yo dieting thing. I was exercising but the videos got boring-I got new videos and it requires you to have all these exercise equipment- like a stability ball, an exercise strap, dumbbells, etc... So now I'll have to go to the store and get these things. Blah!
Anyway, instead of helping you I'm sitting here venting. Sorry about that JLove. I wanted to say that I understand what you're going through. It's not easy and there are no short cuts. If you've changed your life style than maybe it's going to take some time for the results to show. I've read it takes about a month to see any "real" results so don't give up, keep doing what you're doing and eventually you'll see the results. If it's going to be a long term weight loss than it's going to take some time.
((((((((JLove))))))))))) Be patient with yourself. You're doing fine. You're trying the best you can. Don't deprive yourself of french fries-just cut back your intake of them. Treat yourself to one small fry a week then cut it back again to one small fry every two weeks when you're feeling stronger. Depriving yourself is not going to help you. It's the only thing I can think of but it's easier said then done, I know-trust me, I KNOW!!!
I'm hoping the best for you JLove.
Hang in there.

okay girlfriend, first you are not alone in this war, being overwieght is my cross to bear also, have been doing fair on this because we have changed our dishes meaning I don't use regular plates anymore, I use bread plates as my dinner plate and allow myself seconds only using these plates it has worked also eating super slow and drinking water with lemon helps
Angie

jlove, hoping things get better for you. This is the most difficult thing! More people are overweight in the US than smoke, and while one can stop smoking and never smoke again, we don't have the option of never eating again!
I've been bulemic from 1978 through 1985 or so, then it's been on-and-off over the decades...
A few years ago I weighed 322 and had a Rue-N-Y gastric bypass and I'm doing ok. I can eat things now that I couldn't for the first year, because the body gets used to the shortened gastric system. I wish I still couldn't eat things that I shouldn't, like candy...
The thing is, is that after I'd gotten down to a weight (160) I'd not been at since I was - what - 13 or so, I went anorexic, and almost lost my job because I couldn't think, because I wasn't eating. After a hospitalization I started eating again. Then, I gained a little back, but I'm ok, because 195# is ok since I get a lot of exercise. I was really arrogant, after I'd lost all that weight, so I'm a little embarassed about that time. I thought I wouldn't gain weight again. I was so arrogant, and proud of myself, so I've been humbled. It's still hard.

You know what blew me up like a balloon? Soda...i wasnt eating that much but i had two sodas or more a day...then i got sick and eventually got to the conclusion of IBS..my doctor told me to stay away from all carbonated caffiented beverages...so i did....i went from 130 pounds to 116 pounds i know that sounds small but i am only 5 foot 1 so...it definitly shows due to my short stature and uneven body weight Good luck!!!

oh and drink tons and tons of water