Needing to open up

I'm 24 and have struggled with binging for as long as I can remember. I don't \understand what my problem is. I think I'm insane. Why do I eat and eat and eat. I just feel so sick afterward. The other day I bought some brownie mix in oder to have it available in case friends came over. Instead of putting it in the cupboard, I ate it. Dry. All of it. This is gross! Not only did I eat the brownie mix, but I ate a 3/4 of a jar of peanut butter, some ice cream, ect. I had also stolen 6 king sized candy bars from work that day (my average number) and totally binged at a potluck dinner. What is my problem!!! At this rate I will literally be dead by the time I'm 26. Can anyone out there help me? I really need some support and accountability. Few people know about my problem, because amazingly enough I dont' look obese right now. I completed a marathon in the fall, and my metabolism is still high from that.

I'm headed out for a 13 mile run to burn off the 3 sandwiches and 8 servings of ice cream I had for breakfast. (Plus about 1100 calories worth of other foods.) I'm not even joking about this although I know it must all sound so obsurd. Somebody, PLEASE HELP ME!!! I'm scared of what I might do to myself if I can't get this under control!!!!

Hi there
I know what you mean -it seems this has been going on forever.I am o.k most days but lately find myself bingeing again about once a week.Its like getting on a roller coaster and I cant get off -I have no control.Or like a snow ball that starts rolling and rolling.Or like falling down a man hole.I have to be so careful lest I fall.It is alot better than it has been ,I used to binge on whole packets of biscuits ,tubs ice cream,loaves of bread ,cartons of cereal .binge and vomit 5 times a day.I would even steal the food if I didnt have the money I was so out of control and sugar just sent me literally crazy.It is not as bad now -I get it over and done with on a couple of brownies and a couple of yoghurts and a few bananas but I still end up gaining a couple of kilos in one night .I think because I couldnt vomit really I was puking so much blood -dont know why.But its so tireing and disheartening when I have been trying to lose weight then put it back on and more in one night .I feel soooooo low .But I found a book by Susan Jeffers called Embracing Uncertainty and she talks about having a hero mentality instead of a victim one,to find blessings in bad times ,to come out stronger once youre better ,to appreciate small things and maybe become more understanding,and to remember we are all gonna die so make the most of now... I dont know but its a good book.I dont know what to say about being so out of control with the bingeing ,I have been like that and it is reaaallly horrible nightmare ,I feel for you.This too shall pass is what I keep saying to myself when its bad .How about trying to lay off the sugar for awhile ,I think with some foods they are like drugs and they just take over the body and can cause cravings .Also keeping binge foods in the house can be not such a good idea-I slipped up yesterday on brownies I had in the freezer however I probably would have gone out to buy some if they were not there or binged on porrige or something -coz I had allready started .Anyway hang in there.I am sure we can recover -I believe that -somehow .
blueflower

Really, I was doing that at a peroid of my life. I was stealing and eating whatever I got to eat and liked and just thought I wanted to feed myself with.

The thought that I "Can" have it, and quickly eat "It" comforts me and gives me gratifying kudos. It worked well for me for a time, but than didn't work for me anymore, so I made a decision to tell myself, "It won't work for me anymore; I trust I "Will find something else real soon," and guess what after I repeated it over again again and again when ever I wanted to and whenever I was "bored," "It" just flipped around and "Changed." It was easy, took not a breath, just took place.

It is ok, to make activity errors, judgements out of kilter, even grave mistakes, (we make them, all of us) It is ok to have made, to make, and continue a mistake, It is ok to catch "Myself Now, when I do, " and go another course, go another way, re-start the day, re-start the day is a way, it is, irreguardless, ok to be, anyway, it is ok. Namaste Love Robinee

I was once Billimic, I was anerexic, I was considered medically obese, I was a child that ate like I had "Pratter Willies Sysdrone," As a adult, I found myself filling myself up for 3 or so hours, continuing to feed my mouth food. I could not stop the hand from feeding the mouth. The action was repetitious. The results were not good. The results were not good psysically. The results were not good mentally. The results were not good spiritually.

The results changed because a higher power interveined. I changed too. I am glad about it. I bless you Seeking-606 and Blue-Flower, Namaste

Hello and welcome to Psych Central.
I am very sorry that you are going through this bad period in your life at this time. Seeking therapy can help Eating Disorders greatly, especially if you do not know why you are eating as you are at this time. a good therapist can help you with retraining and focusing your energies on more positive ways to eat and think about yourself. I hope things get better for you soon. Take care Soidhonia

Hi Seeking,

When did your binging behavior start?

It sounds like you need professional help. With the stealing issue, it is putting your job at risk.

Please keep us posted.

Welcome to PC!!

Hugs,

EJ

Welcome (again ) While you certainly are having problems regarding food and eating, I would first have a complete physical and speak to a physician. Do you have food allergies? You either crave or abhor the foods that are allergic to you. Maybe an ENT/allergist could help there. It's common (esp for women) to "drown their sorrows " in food... esp when feeling unworthy...but there are so many reasons for disordered eating.. I hope you do find a therapist to help you unwravel this. TC