[Fifth_Sonata]

So I had a therapy session this afternoon and the psychologist mentioned getting a treatment team. That freaked me out. A LOT.

But then I realized...how can I let this go if I don't have help addressing all levels of this problem? I seriously sat down for an hour tonight, trying to imagine how I can find some other way to handle my life and find self-acceptance, and I realized that I don't know how...and I can't see myself living any other way.

A perpetual cycle of elation from weight loss, temporary normalcy, weight gain, and return to the restriction only to wind back up in the same place.

Those of you who are in recovery or have recovered, how did you let go?
Is it possible to let go without hating yourself?
I realized I just...don't know where to go next.

[sunchick924]

Hi I just joined this site. I am currently dealing with my eating disorder which has gone from anorexia to bulemia to binge eating. Yes, it is extremely hard to let go and I too struggle with this. Writing my feelings instead of eating has really really helped me. I keep a journal of all of my frustrations and no, it doesn't work all the time, but it does help. My therapist told me not to write down what i eat. That is the hardest part to let go of for me, it is still in my head but in a way I feel in a way. Maybe try that. Let me know if it works.

[Perna]

I "distract" myself, work on other issues (I'm not a one-issue woman :-) and find that when I work on other things, making headway on them makes headway on the ones I'm not currently working on! So, I switch-hit when I get stumped in one area, pick up my knitting in another. Doing something well takes time and sometimes staring at the job full-time gets frustrating/boring so rotate what you work on, food/eating for awhile, some health concern for awhile, school/work for awhile, relationships for awhile, etc. I think having a treatment team would be pretty good as it would be a built in "multiple"-pronged approach.

[Raindrizzle]

Alright, sooo.....I am a once recovered now relapsing bulimic annorexic. It was no doubt, single handedly the hardest most painful process I have ever gone through. No matter where I turned, I hit a road block. It seemed the world was against me and I was falling apart. But I will testify to this, the time when I had recovered, the little months it was, were the best days of my life.

The struggle was exhausting and tiresome but the results and feelings of relief were worth it. I wouldn't trade those feelings for the world. Those memories of happiness give me hope and motivation to become healthy and well again.

I dont know about you, but I am a Christian. And I know for me personally, praying helped me out a great deal. Whether God was listening or not, to out loud, acknowledge and express all my feelings and emotions at the time in hopes that someone was listening, caring and loving. To just open up and say how you were doing helped a ton.

Here's a few of the things I did to help me get over my ED, do what you want with these, they are at your dispose:

Take a walk on a nice day
Go on a run with music
Play with children
Do something artistic
Scream into a pillow
Do community service
Sleep in!!
Tell someone you love them and why
Write a positive note to yourself
Teach a new thing to someone
Learn something new

Well theres just a few, they helped me alot and i hope they can help you!!! Good luck!!

[katt]

Fifth... what freaks you out about a "treatment team"? That's not a flippant question; I think you need to figure that out so you can accept the help from them. Sounds like you're okay with one-on-one therapy... what do you think would be different with a team? What concerns you about that?

[Fifth_Sonata]

A treatment team would mean that I actually have to admit I have an eating disorder...as well as my parents finding out.

[butterfly28]

Hey Fifth Sonata, I'm also new to this site. I've struggled with my eating disorder for 14 years and have been in recovery only once. I too feel the same way you do and ask that same question about "How do you let go?" I want to let go, yet it is so hard to do it or even imagine my life without it. I struggle everyday just as I know you do! I wish that I could tell you something positive that helped me answer that question, but I still have not found the answer. Just know that you are not alone and hang in there!

[lil_bit]

I was in recovery only once, and did so well for that time (about a year and a half) and i think the biggest thing for me was focus. With an ED it becomes ritualized to focus on food/diet/exercise etc. and to get rid of that focus requires big adjustments. What are your key interests? A hobby would be a great place to start (one distanced from triggers would be best i think). Get yourself involved with something and stick to it. In success, such a thing would benefit you twofold.

wishing you the best of luck and courage,
lil

[veritymoon]

i let go to a point and recover but always get stuck at the same point in recovery and do back down hill its like i wont allow myslef to take the final step and get better.

[butterfly28]

lil bit,

Thanks for the advice. I try alot of times to focus on other things then my ED, but it's hard not to focus on ED. I try reading, writing, and I'm in school studying psychology. I know that my eating disorder is not my life, but I've had it for so long that it feels like this is who I am. I don't want to stay this way, but I always let my focus go back to it. Did or do you ever feel this way? :

[lil_bit]

Yes buttefly, i know exactly what you mean. It's hard for us to force the distance between ourselves and that life with an ED that we have/had all come to know so well. It's difficult, to say the absolute least. My focus almost always seems to go back to it, and that is when i fall, and fall hard.

hoping you are all having better luck...

[Fifth_Sonata]

I think it's the challenge of dissociating yourself from the eating disorder, which has come to define part of ourselves. How do you remove a part of yourself?

[lil_bit]

I think...you (you as in "we") have to redefine yourself. Get rid of that self-harming thing that once was you, and replace it with something more beneficial, more secure.

so much easier in word than in theory, as always..

[veritymoon]

yeah i would feel lost without the ed its part of me. but i would really love to be set free

[zombiette]

hey,
i've been recovered for about three years now...at the acute stage i decided not to be anorexic anymore b/c i did not want to be admitted to hospital and i did not want to die. really, i just decided i had better things to do and the anorexia was getting in the way of that. of course, there is a whole lot that goes on once the weight is put on and this presents a problem for a lot of ppl in being able to let go completely. i think what enabled me to let go completely was facing up to the issues that caused the anorexia and other mental health issues in the first place and working thru my feelings, rather than using anorexia and the like as a distraction from the real problems. i hope this helps, all the best in ur recovery